Did you get a butt whippins growing up and how do you feel about it now? (psychologist, mom)
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My sister threatened to call the cops on our Dad with the whole child abuse claims. He handed her the phone and said "Go ahead, but Im going to make damn sure that I actually abuse you before they get here". She smartly did a 180 and went to her room.
That's actually pretty funny and clever of him. I've been through it though. Depending on the state/region you live in, some CPS workers seem to be dead-set on removing as many kids as possible. One little scratch on their knee? ABUSE! One day of crying to their teacher that their mom pulled their hair to get them away from the street? ABUSE! It's tough.
Growing up, I had a neighborhood girl that *was* infact being abused by her mother. Badly. One day (I was about 14 years old at the time), the mother came over and the daughter was crying because she wanted an ice cream. The mother pushed the 5 year old girl down, straddled her, then sat right on the girl's face smothering her. She could not breathe, she was gasping for air and turning blueish. I absolutely thought the baby was about to pass out. I jumped up, punched the woman in the face my damn self to get her off of the girl, and called the cops right then and there. They did come and take care of the woman at that point. The little girl was still struggling to breathe even when the cops got there a few minutes later.
Turns out that this woman had another child that was taken from her years back for almost choking that kid to death too.
Now THAT is what CPS should be concerned about..
I don't agree that every little spanking is abuse. What I'm saying is: there is a fine line between discipline and abuse, and CPS (above all organizations) tend to have a very skewed sense of what is and what is not abuse. A few switches on the behind when they get out of hand? Not abuse to me. Sitting on the kid's face so that they can't breathe? Yes. Abusive beyond belief.
It's not worth the risk to me. I also think they occasionally mess with certain people just because they can too.
Sort of like police chasing after a homeless man who stole a loaf of bread, while the guy who just gunned down 2 people is running free. It's a messed up sense of priority going on in many ways..
I play the safe side; I'm not about to spank a child and risk that. Cover your own behind and don't even go there. In this day and age, we have to get more inventive with parenting and childcare because all it takes is one person who has it in for you to make that call and you're under investigation.
Use some logic and forethought.. develop patience and care when you raise your children. No physical punishment. If you love them, you have to. No other option.
I'm from the south and got a few ass whippings....only took me a few and then I minded and walked the straight and narrow for life. I have a 24 year old daughter who probably got 2 spankings ever and one mouth washing out with Dawn. Do something once and you don't have to do it again since the fear is enough. Sorry, in a way, respect is fear driven to start with and most times it can keep your kids safe and alive. I tease her and say, "call me a meanie Mom" and she thanks me for doing the right thing. Even as a teen I could threaten Dawn and that kept the unruly/belligerent/hormone driven brat in check.
Hate to burst your bubble, but NO THEY DO NOT. With all of the child-protection laws in the U.S. these days, many parents are frankly scared to lay a finger on them.
You heard about the father who called a Sheriff to supervise him spanking his daughter, right? So she couldn't run back to school the next day and tell the teach "daddy beat me last night.. help!" -- and have the teacher call Child Protection to get her removed from her parents. All for a spanking. This father did it right; to protect his own behind, he called the police station to get someone to come watch and be a witness while he spanked his own daughter just so she couldn't get taken from him over it.
THAT is real. Kids are removed everyday over something as petty as exaggerated stories about spankings. I got a few growing up, but I refuse to spank any kids. All it takes is for them to run to school and stretch the story a teeny-tiny-bit and you'll get thrown under an official investigation by CPS.
No thanks. It's not worth the stress, hassle or potential heart-break.
If you're wise and love your kids, you'll keep your hands to yourself. Spanking is too risky these days. It comes with a VERY serious possible consequence.
Hate to burst your notion-created-for-the-purpose-of-bashing-child-protection,..... but the majority, the large majority, of parents have spanked their children in the US. See the rates in the article below (a study, not some Joe Blow on the intewebs opinion).
Not only that but spanking levels are highest... in that section of our society that has culturally the highest rate of incarceration. What a big surprise.
My sister threatened to call the cops on our Dad with the whole child abuse claims. He handed her the phone and said "Go ahead, but Im going to make damn sure that I actually abuse you before they get here". She smartly did a 180 and went to her room.
Bottom line is.. if you're an jerk, no matter how hard you beat your child chances are it'll be a jerk too.
Also, I've never heard of someone being arrested for spanking a child. If you beat your kid over the head with a tire iron, you might go to jail. Tapping on the butt is legal.
When the status quo changes even a little, people tend to panic. Less parents spanking today must mean the new generation will all be criminals, too many Mexican immigrants and all the whites will die out, etc.
Hate to burst your notion-created-for-the-purpose-of-bashing-child-protection,..... but the majority, the large majority, of parents have spanked their children in the US. See the rates in the article below (a study, not some Joe Blow on the intewebs opinion).
Not only that but spanking levels are highest... in that section of our society that has culturally the highest rate of incarceration. What a big surprise.
But, not exactly a surprise to anyone with common sense. Violence begets violence and fear.
No surprise at all.
Most of the people I've ever seen beat the %^& out of their kids were -in fact- a member of the black community. The lady above in question that I described earlier was white. I wouldn't even try to dispute that; that is absolutely true that physical beatings happen often in the African American population. The majority of white Americans do not do this, however. I am white and it's actually RARE unless you go down into the deep south. Lots of hillbillies still employ corporal punishment. To me.. that shows a distinct lack of intelligence to whip your kids over coming up with more reasonable ways of teaching them instead.
It was highly inaccurate of you to assume that *MOST* Americans still beat their kids. Most members of the African American community, perhaps. "Most people in the U.S." as you stated earlier DO NOT.
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