Did you get a butt whippins growing up and how do you feel about it now? (mom, thoughts)

[MSPLove]

My mom started out spanking with her hand, but at one point had moved on to spanking me with a wooden cutting board. It had a handle on one end so it made a good paddle for my butt.

Overall, I was a good kid. So I didn't get spanked often. When I did, it was always after plenty of verbal warning. I always knew I had it coming. It never seemed excessive, it was never anywhere other than on my bottom which was well-padded, and it never seemed like my mom was getting her kicks from it. She did it 1-3 times in a row and done. It depended on the offense and how much I had tried her patience. I think a kid can tell the difference between a well-earned spanking and abuse.

I only remember being spanked when I was young. I don't recall them past the age of 7 or so. I don't know if it was a conscious decision on my mom's part (I doubt it) or I just stopped acting up that much.

I look back and respect how my mom handled it. When it happened, I deserved it. I don't see a thing wrong with spankings if done right. It should still be acceptable. Parents should be able to threaten it and carry it out in public, if necessary. Time to stop treating kids like little porcelain dolls. Parents are so worried everything they do will send a kid to therapy. No it will just teach them how to behave in public fairly quickly.

[jeepman91919]

I would get hit with a belt and told it would continue until I stopped crying. That seemed to make no sense to me, it was kind of a psychological torture.

[sajae90]

Originally Posted by LS Jaun

"I believe in spankings but not beatings."
The problem is who decides what constitutes a beating vs. spanking.

I'm sure mine were all spankings considering I only got a red bottom out of it. I remember a friend of mine across the street whose moms boyfriend would beat the sht out of him. I remember my mom looking at bruises up and down his body when he was over for a swim party and freaking out. He just said he got a spanking, but to me it looked like something a prisoner of war would get. I know my mom confronted his mom about it but I don't know what came out of it. I just hope he didn't end up doing that to his kids if he has any.

I agree. And this is why the law is cracking down on parents hitting their children. It is all considered abuse. Hitting or spanking your child only provides a quick fix for the parent to release their anger for whatever reason. A parent can control their children by simply using psychological methods. Beatings and spankings are not even necessary....and yes, I was "disciplined" as a child as well.

[nyfreesia]

My amswer? It makes me want to vomit.

My parents died lonely and miserable. I have to believe it had to do with the things they did to us, my siblings and me. All considered 'standard' treatment of children. Screwed up.
Do we shed a tear due to their absence? Honest answer: no.

My ex husband and I were committed to a no hitting household, and that was that. That was the most important thing I ever did in my life. My personal strength increased, my belief in what is right, my confidence in my children, what canI say? I did break the cycle. Not alone, my ex did too. It's one of a couple of reasons I can never, ever dislike him.

I'm no professor, but I read and taught myself what to do, and would make him read too, we did it together, and apart when divorced, but it was a vow we kept.
Nobody has to hit their children. They just can that's all. And that is not right.

[Sonic_Spork]

I feel that spankings are only appropriate with very small children, and even then very rarely and with verbal warning and NEVER in anger. By age 5, there are other methods of discipline that are less traumatic and more effective. The only reason it makes sense for a 2 year old is that a 2 year old is like a little wild creature that can't be reasoned with. I've watched defiant toddlers scream "I HATE YOU!" at parents, hit parents, hurt themselves and others, and grin defiance in the face of the parent who is trying to be all calm and say, "Now Johnny, do you want a time out in the corner?"

Also to be noted...when you're spanking a small kid, they are usually wearing a diaper. It's not about the pain. It's about a physical jolt to regain control of a kid that is not able to control themselves.

I got spanked past that young stage though, and I also got smacked in the face a few times by my Mother. And it wasn't a considered punishment with due warning, it was an act of anger. The incidents I remember did not make me regret the wrong action I was supposedly being punished for. They made me feel unloved and worthless, bad, undeserving of love or understanding. My husband was physically disciplined until he moved out at age 17. Because spanking with a hand has no impact on a child past a certain point, his dad escalated the violence to belts, boards, and closed fists. If you establish early on that spanking is how you handle disobedience, if it's the only tool in your toolbox, this is where it leads. While, again, I do think it's got its time and place, parents need to realize that it is not the end-all, be-all to dealing with a kid. Another thing that happened as my husband grew up is that eventually he felt that he could "take" his old man...he eventually threatened to shoot him, shortly before he moved out. Then for decades he had no contact and hated his dad. Eventually they mended their relationship, and now have an understanding...but it look a very long time.

[LS Jaun]

While I have no problems with corporal punishment, some of the examples here that some people consider 'normal' are right out Sadam Hussien's torture book. Any person that uses objects like tree branches or Coat hangers should be brought up on charges, as demonstrated in the Peterson case.

It is definately abuse, physical or otherwise, when a parent or protector is a greater threat to you than a stranger. People who raise children that fear and hate them are the end result. If you produce children that fear and hate you why would you have them in the first place.

[amylewis]

Originally Posted by alaskaboy

Now I agree there is a line people can cross. Beating a child is horrible, but talking to them, telling them why they are getting spanked and then doing it while controlled. Is that all bad? Should it be illegal?

Your thoughts?

Spanked was not what I got, what I got was beaten, most often with fists, other times with 2x4's and other weapons, I got kicked around on the floor with his boots, and beaten unconscious a couple times I remember. My first stepfather hospitalized me 4 times, and beat me whenever he was in the mood.

My mother, who had to take me to the hospital and the ER's blamed it all on me and would angrily glare at me in the rear-view mirror as she drove. It was such an inconvenience for her, having to take me to a different ER each time to avoid questions and have to make up stories. This was from age 4 to age 12.

How do I feel about it now?

How do you think?

[1973PINTO]

Originally Posted by Bluesmama

Are you at all "attached" to this child?

no .. sorry for so late a reply .. this child grew up among-st several come and go men in her mothers life and has issues of her own .. i`ll suffer the ill will to uphold the saintly image of mother .

[Creature of the Wheel]

I never received any butt kickings. My mom was/is one of those "friend" types of parents, encouraged terrible behavior, and rewarded me for my old scoundrel ways. Her boyfriend at the time was also a felon and encouraged me to do terrible things. They often laughed when I'd get suspended from school for doing things that would get kids put into some kind of cell nowadays, and the school on lock down.

Looking back on it, I could have used some whippings, because seeing the error of my ways before becoming an adult would have done a bit of good. I didn't realize how much of a dipstick I was until I was almost 20.

[Joe90]

I got a whippin once at school, for something I didn't do. I got got my revenge by vandalizing the perpetrators house (several times) as well another two acts of revenge (involving the perps pets)

Looking back now, they acts were quite sophisticated for one so young (I was never considered a suspect), so I guess the whippin did help me to see the importance of good planning and secrecy.