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Oh my, someone is having an affair. That would be around 50% of men and 30% of woman in this country that are having, have had or will have an affair. No wonder this board is so busy with all the dysfunctional people posting here. If my friend is having an affair, I don’t want to know about it. However, if they informed me they would remain my friend.
It's a free country. If you don't like a post, you can just skip it.
My good friend is having a relationship w/a married man with kids. My friend thinks it's great but I say "Hey, he has kids. He needs to put them first." Why not separate and then have the relationship? My friend is upset with me for telling her so. I'm starting to lose respect for my friend who I've known for many years now. What do you think?
It's none of your business, butt out. If it bothers you, distance yourself from her.
One of my close friends had an affair with a married man 20 years ago. I didn't agree or disagree with the relationship, I just didn't judge.
They've been together for 20 years and happily married for 15 and no, neither of them has cheated on the other.
Thank God I wasn't judgemental about the relationship because I love her more than anything and she's like a sister to me.
All three of the stepkids are perfectly normal and very successful adults now. They love their stepmother.
My good friend is having a relationship w/a married man with kids. My friend thinks it's great but I say "Hey, he has kids. He needs to put them first." Why not separate and then have the relationship? My friend is upset with me for telling her so. I'm starting to lose respect for my friend who I've known for many years now. What do you think?
Your friend is in a bad place. I hope that you, as her friend, will maintain your friendship with her even though you are starting to lose respect for her. When she pulls out of this disaster-in-the-making, she will need a good friend to help her as she picks up the pieces. Being a friend doesn't mean approving of her life choices; it means supporting her as she goes through both the good and the bad. It means gently telling her what you've already told her, hearing her out when she needs to be heard without judging, checking in w/her periodically and keeping the lines of communication open (not necessarily hanging out every week), and comforting her when it's all gone to hell in a handbasket.
(Then again, who knows how it will all turn out? Perhaps there will be a happier ending. You never know. No one other than the parties involved can truly know what's going on inside a relationship.)
All this assumes she is not abusive to you and that her only fault is that she has made a choice in her life that you, her friend, do not approve of.
My having an affair had nothing to do with my children. They are with me now, for 7 days, every other week.
I had many affairs when I was with my ex. I was miserable, and we lived together for the children for a long time.
I do not know your friend. I don't know the depths of her and his feelings. Your friend is not hurting those kids, and the dad isn't if he maintains his responsibility to his children. He is a terrible person to his now wife, as I was.
I really don't understand why miserable people don't just split up! Living together "for the children" doesn't work and the kids can clearly see when Mommy and Daddy are worlds apart. As a result of play acting, many children have warped views of marriage down the road. I'd rather deal with the short term heartbreak of a divorce and the stigma than have a philanderer in the same house as me. But that's just me -- I have zero tolerance for cheating. I don't cheat. Period. If I am miserable, I will let that be known and if this can't be reconciled, then I'd press for a divorce or at the very least a separation. The same thing goes for my husband..if he's miserable, I'd expect him to do the same thing.
Married men who carry on disgust me. I had a bad experience with such a person many years ago when I was very young and naive and I got rid of him. As a married mother myself, I still feel ashamed that I was doing that. It's not right and it's not fair. Some men need to just grow some and leave if they are so unhappy.
I really don't understand why miserable people don't just split up! Living together "for the children" doesn't work and the kids can clearly see when Mommy and Daddy are worlds apart. As a result of play acting, many children have warped views of marriage down the road. I'd rather deal with the short term heartbreak of a divorce and the stigma than have a philanderer in the same house as me. But that's just me -- I have zero tolerance for cheating. I don't cheat. Period. If I am miserable, I will let that be known and if this can't be reconciled, then I'd press for a divorce or at the very least a separation. The same thing goes for my husband..if he's miserable, I'd expect him to do the same thing.
Married men who carry on disgust me. I had a bad experience with such a person many years ago when I was very young and naive and I got rid of him. As a married mother myself, I still feel ashamed that I was doing that. It's not right and it's not fair. Some men need to just grow some and leave if they are so unhappy.
She's 46, never been married, no kids. I think she should focus on a relationship that has potential.
I wonder if she is deciding to cheat with a married man because of her age and availability of single men in her age group? IMO, this is a huge world we live in with plenty of single people to meet. It is a lot easier now than it was 20+ years ago because we have online dating. The sky is the limit. Remind her of this, "karma is a B****!" Introduce her to online dating to occupy her mind.
It's okay to share your thoughts with your friends and probably you are right, but your friend is not a kid.
If she wants to live her life being the "other woman" and she is ok with it, let her be. You don't need to support it, but you don't have to be her enemy. Friendship is often to accept the other as it is.
Oh my, someone is having an affair. That would be around 50% of men and 30% of woman in this country that are having, have had or will have an affair. No wonder this board is so busy with all the dysfunctional people posting here. If my friend is having an affair, I don’t want to know about it. However, if they informed me they would remain my friend.
Then why bother getting married in the first place? Marriage has more of a purpose than procreating! It's called being faithful and committed to a relationship to one man or woman only...not an intruder UNLESS it's by invitation of the married couple! I don't agree with that last part either. What kind of an example are you setting for your children? Isn't there anything in this world that is sacred anymore? Her friend needs to drop the BS and move on and not contribute to anymore dysfunction.
My good friend is having a relationship w/a married man with kids. My friend thinks it's great but I say "Hey, he has kids. He needs to put them first." Why not separate and then have the relationship? My friend is upset with me for telling her so. I'm starting to lose respect for my friend who I've known for many years now. What do you think?
Well, since you asked what we all think, here's my suggestion : you aren't her conscience, nor are you the morality police. You should just butt out.
Well, since you asked what we all think, here's my suggestion : you aren't her conscience, nor are you the morality police. You should just butt out.
That's about as helpful as the last comment you made on my post in another forum.
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your friend needs a friend
