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I will not watch the video but feel it is important to make a few distinctions. Pornography is by definition harmful and damaging. It is a distortion. It is unhealthy. It degrades, exploits, and dehumanizes. Erotica is not pornography. Instructional materials that present sex in a healthy way are not pornography. Erotica and healthy sex guides can be ok and even helpful for some people.
I will not watch the video but feel it is important to make a few distinctions. Pornography is by definition harmful and damaging. It is a distortion. It is unhealthy. It degrades, exploits, and dehumanizes. Erotica is not pornography. Instructional materials that present sex in a healthy way are not pornography. Erotica and healthy sex guides can be ok and even helpful for some people.
The thing about the Internet is that anyone can put up a site and say whatever they want.
I read the argument about dopamine being released when watching porn, which is completely ridiculous since dopamine is also released when you have normal sex, along with oxytocin and all kinds of hormones. Are you going to also argue that sex is a public health crisis too? That people should stop having orgasms?
You know what else releases dopamine? Creativity. Is that also a health crisis in the making? Should we dispose of the arts in general because they're destroying our minds?
If desensitization is such a problem, do you also think we should ban the news? Horror movies? MP3 players (for desensitizing us to music)? Should we limit ourselves to only watching TV once a week? One movie per month?
I think the anti-porn arguments are motivated by a lot of things, but none of them are exclusive to the porn phenomenon... they can also be applied to sex in healthy, committed relationships (which actually releases way more chemicals than porn), eating chocolate on a regular basis, etc. An overwhelming amount of the panic seem to be due to the Christian influence on North American society or feminists who don't understand that wanting to be treated a certain way during sex doesn't mean you're inviting people to treat you that way outside of the bedroom-- people brought together by the fact that they have no idea what other people's relationships are like and think that they know best just because they studied Andrea Dworkin or have some backwards interpretation of scripture.
Because it's this sort of underground, sketchy thing, porn makes a great scapegoat for a lot of issues that could be overcome by people being a little more open-minded or taking responsibility for their own lifestyles, attitudes, etc. It's easy for the frustrated male to blame porn instead of looking at how he treats others. It's easy for the couple to blame porn instead of the circumstances that pushed them apart (typically she's a prude and he's craving more experimentation, so he turns to porn and she demands he stop this 'disgusting behavior' instead of reaching a compromise).
I was deep into the porn for years of being single and depressed. It didn't cause my depression, anxiety, loneliness and rejection did. It didn't cause me to be rejected, my attitudes did. It didn't cause me to have those attitudes, my isolation/bitterness did. I overcame the bitterness/negativity without giving up porn, and I mostly gave up porn when doing that resulted in finding a great, loving relationship. Giving it up was about as hard as giving up any other habit... sort of like when you turn 25 and realize you can't get away with saying 'like' when you're trying to think of the right word. It took me all of 2 months before I wasn't even that interested anymore. I went from watching it every day to maybe once or twice a week... maybe less. I'm not a superhero for doing this, it's not something that takes inner strength or bravery-- the hard part was finding someone who wasn't going to think I was a sick pervert, make a big deal out of it, or judge me for it. Finding a supportive, open-minded partner is a lot harder than giving up porn, which is probably why so many people use porn in the first place-- because running into judgment all the time, being told you're weak or should feel shame or that you're evil and supporting the degradation of women and men makes you feel hopeless, sick, wrong, bad, etc. If more women realized that porn isn't about them, isn't cheating, isn't about having a negative view of women, and would just lighten up about it, then they wouldn't have as many problems as they do.
I still watch it from time to time but the thing is, I tell my GF when I do. I know I don't have to hide it from her because she doesn't freak out about it. As a result, I don't resent her, feel judged, or anything. I can talk to her about it and know she will listen, and not overreact. I showed her some things that I liked, and we talked about it... and it doesn't matter because she knows I love her.
I don't have negative attitudes towards women because I can separate fantasy from reality. I'm not desensitized because I understand that the idea of a thing is very different from the reality of a thing, and what seems exciting onscreen isn't always that way in reality.
Porn isn't the enemy here... the enemy is judgment/negative attitudes that cause men to hate themselves, women to hate their partners, and society to judge people for something that really isn't as bad as you might think.
Cambridge University: Brain scans find porn addiction (2014). This is the first in a series of studies. It found the same brain activity as seen in drug addicts and alcoholics. It also found that porn addicts fit the accepted addiction model of wanting "it" more, but not liking "it" more. One other major finding was that 60% of subjects (average age: 25) had difficulty achieving erections/arousal with real partners, yet could achieve erections with porn.
To be frank, I DO like porn (not really graphic, more like the kind on Max)and have nothing against it at all but like anything else, many people do use it as an escape from life. There are many many people who work tired all day because they can't make themselves turn the computer off until 4am....there are many many people who can't get erections with real life women because they are too used to hard core porn and the intense pressure of their hand, and many many people who have to keep upping the ante and turning to harder and harder core stuff because they get desensitized to normal sex and it doesn't "work" anymore.
I'll address this at a later time. Probably talk about Tracey Adams, Racquel Darrian, Aja, Nikki Randall, and Tori Welles at points.....as well as Randy Spears, Tom Byron, Jerry Butler, Jon Dough, Mike Horner, and Joey Silvera.
I used to be addicted to finding porn tubes and saving them to my computer (it's a Firefox plug-in). I would do this once or twice a week for a few hours each time. I was mainly into the genuine, real person, masturbation / solo girl stuff.
I realized at some point that A) I wasn't really enjoying it (it was kind of like work, I'd have 15 browser windows open at a time and the computer would slow to a crawl because for the downloader to work and complete properly every time you have to stay on the page, and I'd become sort of 'anal completist' (no pun intended!) about all the thumbnail hyperlinks)...
...and B)it was impacting me negatively (it took time I'd rather be learning something on the internet, or reading a book, or outside the house, or cleaning, or working out, etc., it subtly skewed my perception of real people (even though I didn't indulge in gross or exploitative or misogynistic stuff) and I could sense the neurotransmitter response becoming robotic, habitual, addictive, and dysphoric).
I came to this realization as well as built the resolve to do something about it while tripping on 4-AcO-DMT.
So I just stopped. I didn't delete my collected archives, mind you. I just stopped adding to it. The only thing I allow myself as far as new stuff is a few TUMBLRs like Naughty Cosplay and such (stills only), and only in very limited amounts.
And? It was a great move. I'm no prude. But this change was really good for me. I retrained my brain. I reclaimed some time. My computer runs a lot better. I feel healthier. Now if I enjoy porn (from my archives or otherwise) it's a rare, more special thing, possibly even an activity to share with my girlfriend.
1. If you don't like porn, don't watch and definitely don't star in it.
2. I am not aware of anyone have physical or TRUE psychological withdrawal symptoms from porn. Just because some people watch it too much doesn't make it an addiction. Plenty of people interfere with their personal and professional lives by playing too much golf, watching too much football, messing around on Facebook etc. That doesn't mean these people are addicted, they just have their priorities a little screwed up. Calling porn addictive is just a way to deflect responsibility from the person with the problem to the object in which their carrying out the problem with.
It is possible to become physically and/or psychologically addicted to alcohol and some drugs. However, many people who sit around and drink and smoke pot all day/night aren't addicted either. They have the exact same problem as the people that watch hours of porn everyday.
Cigarettes are addictive as well as alcohol, certain foods (chocolate, help me.) Many many things are addictive so do we take them all off of the market? I think some addictions are more harmful then porn. Cigarettes and alcohol cost society way more then porn does a year. Try and take my chocolate away from me. Go ahead I dare you.
meh, who cares, a bunch of naked people having sex in front of a camera with fake, well fake most all of it.
If that is what you like then go for it. I've seen it more than once and even watching it upside down laying on the floor with your legs and feet on the couch and 2 dachshunds between you and your date, still not that exciting or impressive.
I'll stick with my cigarettes and my few drinks every year or so and be done with it.
Cigarettes are addictive as well as alcohol, certain foods (chocolate, help me.) Many many things are addictive so do we take them all off of the market? I think some addictions are more harmful then porn. Cigarettes and alcohol cost society way more then porn does a year. Try and take my chocolate away from me. Go ahead I dare you.
Not one person said porn should be banned, in fact most of us said that we enjoy it ourselves within reason. I have nothing against porn, but I don't believe it's healthy for everyone. I like video games, too, but I know people who have destroyed their lives because they used them as an escape. I had a friend who flunked out of college back in the day due to a Dungeons and Dragons addiction. It's patently ridiculous to deny there are people who abuse porn rather than use it. Acknowledging that there can be an addictive component to it doesn't mean we hate it or want it banned. The way porn is delivered now, so available 24/7, does have a negative effect on some people's lives.
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