Looks is - a temporary measure to connect people (men, woman, attracted)

[LoveWisdom]

We believe that attraction to looks wears out. And that if people get married based on looks only (attraction to looks), their relationships soon fizzles out.

Some people have friendship in their marriage, which lasts longer or rather beyond attraction to looks.

It's so frustrating that attraction is so temporary.

And it's also frustrating that without this attraction, guys often don't notice a girl.

So, I was trying to figure out: what is the Universe doing (figuratively speaking)? Why does it work this way?

I believe that the goal of the Universe is to have people CONNECT.

To connect means to get to know each other.

But what would inspire someone to get to know the other person? Sometimes it's looks!

They see someone pretty, they say: I'll call you.


So this is the first step to connecting. The looks maybe were designed to be a temporary measure, a force which forces people to connect. AFTER they start to get to know each other, THEN they will decide whether they are a match or not.

Most people don't do that. They are attracted based on looks only, they decide to be a couple based on looks only. They don't even bother to get to know each other. Then when it falls apart, they don't understand what's going on.

The POINT is to get to know the person to see if they are a match for you. The looks is a temporary measure. The ultimate destination is to find someone who is compatible for you in personality.

Once you really like that person's personality, you can overlook the looks (if they are not good or if the attraction wears off, or if the person gets damaged). And sometimes, your love for their personality will even make them look attractive to you if they are not by default.

Afterall, what makes us to be attracted to someone or something? Why do some people like black and others like blue? Why some like big eyes and others like narrow eyes? Some like short and others like tall?
Probably, there was some programming in DNA initially to create preferences. But THEN, preferences are modified or shaped by life.

For example, if you interact with someone with narrow eyes and that interaction went really well, you may start to become attracted to the people with narrow eyes.

Some say that evolution makes women be attracted to strong men because it was necessary for survival. (Women mating with strong men promised a continued survival of species). So usually, there is probably a reason why we're attracted to something. But we just don't know the details.

[LoveWisdom]

But SOME women are attracted to weaker men. So one could say: hmm, your evolution theory doesn't work.

However, since life could modify preferences, perhaps this woman found a reason (subconsciously) to be attracted to weaker man because things did not go well with strong types.

OR

as we know, some people have more masculine traits and some have more feminine (regardless of whether they have a physical woman's body or a man's body). So perhaps those women who are attracted to weaker men are actually more masculine in their emotional make up. So it's like they are men in women's bodies, who are attracted to women in men's bodies.

[nightlysparrow]

There are recognized standards of beauty, like it or not. We can look at 2,000 year-old Roman statues of people that would be considered equally beautiful by today's standards (Western standards, in that example). Beauty on an evolutionary level represents fertility, youth, health. Looks say a lot.

Few people can get past unattractiveness to go digging for personality. Some people look scary, haggard, closed off, or otherwise a turn-off. But, looks can always be improved. It is evident upon meeting someone whether or not they are invested in their appearance. Rich or poor. I've been in 3rd world countries where people wore ragged clothing, but had carefully styled hair and tried to look neat. Even people who are not blessed with perfect features or bodies can style themselves, get cosmetic procedures, become fit with exercise, whatever it takes.

People who want to look attractive are signaling that they want to attract others, and those that maintain their looks over time want to continue to have a pleasing appearance. It is a form of social currency----millionaires or rock stars can be borderline ugly, but they choose mates that aren't, even though they are presumably well aware that they themselves are examples that looks aren't everything.