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I love seeing my family at the holidays, and more of us are together than at most other times. But I've always done the heavy lifting with cooking, cleaning, shopping, wrapping, thinking of gifts, etc. So, I wouldn't say I am depressed during this time, but I do feel overwhelmed, or at least I used to. The holidays for most moms are an exhausting time. I don't feel this as much now, since my kids are grown, even with grands. But I do feel like the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is tiring and too much is expected of me.
Just today, as I was making a pie for tomorrow, I was thinking that I needed to get started on some cookies pretty soon. And I've been thinking about doing shopping, which I don't enjoy.
If someone is actually depressed at the holidays, it might be because he or she has no close ties, or they have conflict in their family.
I know just reading all the things friends are doing, exhausts me. I kept it very simple this year. We even had our thanksgiving last week.
I'm 'thankful' that I'll be spending the day without being around a group of dysfunctional people.
As far as the holidays being depressing: for many it's the overplay of it 'being the most wonderful time of the year' as Andy Williams blurts out in song in the Branson, MO tv commercials. It's the overdone Hallmark commercials showing loving and happy family situations. Maybe too, it's being asked by nearly everyone you come in contact with: "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?", "What are you doing for Christmas?", and if you answer that 'you're not planning on doing anything', you're usually viewed as a loner psychopath.
I adore being alone on Holidays
with the phone off the hook and acting like it's my birthday...alone in peace. Ah, Heaven.
I happen to do Holidays with a small group of great friends, now.
I wish I had been older and wiser when I had parents alive...as it was, it took me a month
to recover from the trauma of placing myself into the dysfunctional arena of my visits.
What can anyone expect from someone in their 20s-40s?
I blame the immaturity of youth and the enormous lack of education regarding
healthy thinking....unrealistic expectations, like 'inner-child' needs being met...bla bla...
not taking responsibility for my own contentment...it goes on and on...
Now, I'm great all the time...makes no diff where I am. Or what day it is.
I've spent the last twenty-five holidays blissfullyalone. Closest an American can come to a Time-Out in Heaven.
Two weeks before Thanksgiving until New Year's Day is always extremely stressful for me. The bulk of the holiday stuff falls on me - planning, shopping for and cooking meals, decorating, buying gifts. I work full time and it's just a lot. My husband *thinks* he helps but helping to him is setting up extra tables for holiday dinners, etc. He can't cook and wouldn't be a good gift picker, so it really is up to me. He does help clean, though.
The gift buying is the worst because I don't want to give people (mainly my adult kids) something they don't want/don't need and I feel like in the past I have spent a lot of money on things they didn't necessarily want. So there is a lot of indecision and second guessing and if I ask what they want they don't really give me an answer. I also stress about them spending money on gifts for US when I know they are struggling financially. I really don't WANT them to spend money on us but they refuse not to.
On New Year's Day I breathe a sigh of relief, take down the Christmas tree, put away all the Christmas decorations that have been cluttering my house, and clean the house and start looking forward to spring. Out with the old, in with the new.
Depressing. I do not look forward to this time of year at all.
Next month's holiday will be even worse. While I always spend it alone I don't like dealing with the usual meaness when out and about. It brings out the worst in many people.
Sometimes we choose to make our life stressful; and the holiday season can be the worse time. I used to think I had to make the occasions as perfect as possible, and that no one could do it as well as I could. That was destructive thinking on my part, and I ended up with self-induced stress.
It's just a pain in the ass. You put the same tree up every year, put up the same decorations, cook the same turkey dinner for Thanksgiving, have the same obnoxious family members who you have to wear a fake smile around ear after year after year. My favorite day of the holiday season is January 1st because that is when it all ends and you go back to normal life.
I don't even 'do' the holidays, but they're still a pain in the ass. Stores full of Xmas crap and crowds, media yammering about Xmas 24/7, mailbox and email box full of ads and catalogs trying to get you to buy and spend, people all stressed out over it all.....I agree with you about January 1st.
I say, try one year doing what you really want to do...you may
have to email a few people and say, We're not having Thksg at our place this year.
They may have to learn how to make their first turkey, good.
And if you don't want to go to somebody eles's place...
say, you 'can't make it this year, thank you so much, honey.' Oh? What are you doing?--- We don't know yet---and leave it at that.
Then rent 3 DVDs, buy champagne or fly to Vegas.
It's time we do what 'we' want to do and be happy doing it.
Who wants to deal with the d-i-law...pouting and being a brat each year.
I say, try one year doing what you really want to do...you may
have to email a few people and say, We're not having Thksg at our place this year.
They may have to learn how to make their first turkey, good.
And if you don't want to go to somebody eles's place...
say, you 'can't make it this year, thank you so much, honey.' Oh? What are you doing?--- We don't know yet---and leave it at that.
Then rent 3 DVDs, buy champagne or fly to Vegas.
It's time we do what 'we' want to do and be happy doing it.
Who wants to deal with the d-i-law...pouting and being a brat each year.
What do you like to do in Vegas, Miss H.? ...................from someone that's never been there.
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Or what day it is.
