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Thanks, all! Excellent advice! I had a lovely drive with my mother yesterday in our beautiful sunny weather. As others have said, some days are better than others and I definitely wrote my post at a particularly bad moment.
The sun helps a lot, but when it comes down to it, I'm a spoiled (have it pretty good) person who is in desperate need of a new adventure. However, right now life needs to be about my family (young kids), so I just need to keep afloat for now. Just need to chin up for now...
I appreciate the tips for getting me back on track!
Thanks, all! Excellent advice! I had a lovely drive with my mother yesterday in our beautiful sunny weather. As others have said, some days are better than others and I definitely wrote my post at a particularly bad moment.
The sun helps a lot, but when it comes down to it, I'm a spoiled (have it pretty good) person who is in desperate need of a new adventure. However, right now life needs to be about my family (young kids), so I just need to keep afloat for now. Just need to chin up for now...
I appreciate the tips for getting me back on track!
Glad to hear you pulled yourself out of it. Living a positive life can take all the energy you have some days, because giving into the negatives, the dark side involves no effort at all. Going to the dark side is like going off a diet, finding yourself without exercising in over a week, while finishing that Ben and Jerry's pint. It takes stepping on the scales (your original post) that shocks you back to reality. I've been fortunate in the fact that my sunshine days have outnumbered my days of gloom, but more importantly, my days of not recognizing my sunshine had left, were few. (I have found it's possible to be a negative person and be okay with it - it's when you realize it's not what you want, it's affecting relationships, or childrens' behavoir, there is a driving need to change).
But, OP, if you are a stay at home mom, you are the single largest influence on your children. Our children will grow into miniature versions of how they saw us. Being down and negative is okay in random doses, but on a regular basis, it can set the course for a lifetime. And it may take decades to undo this. If the behavior (of any kind) is recognized as one requiring change, then working at it should never be dismissed and a constant goal. We've all seen the loud, angry, dad, and then their 7 year old that mimics them, reflecting learned behavior, that is so blatantly the father's. It also happens with the negative parent.
But we've also seen people around us with notes to themselves stuck to their computer or their space, "smile, they can hear it in your voice," or, "everyday may not be good, but there is good in every day.". Not everyone puts those notes or plaques up for the benefit of others, but to remind themselves to be conscious of their behavior. And deliberate intention is when life can really become rewarding.
Your post says you are better and wrote your post in a bad moment, but you also make it clear you are treading water for your young family, and to paraphrase, it sounds like you've decided to suck it up and get through it as best you can. I promise you, that attitude works for a day or two, but to start feeling better, you need to do more than stay afloat. Please come back and read the many excellent posts here, but don't stop here. " Spoiled" individuals can experience negative feelings (even full blown pity parties) the same as anyone else, and we all owe it to ourselves to be truly happy.
And please note no one is saying you MUST be cheerful all the time or there is something wrong with you.
We're human. Our feelings spike. Each of us has a unique personality and some of us tend downward, some up, and it's good to be aware of on which side your personality 'lives.'
Sometimes negativity is just a bad habit, influenced by:
other's negativity
weariness or sadness
lack of empowerment
needing to have more fun
Rx:
the brain loves novelty, so do something different
give yourself a day (or few hours) to do something that you would love, even if it's just being alone
take a different route somewhere
plant a flower
watch comedy or the nature channel
At sleep:
think of the good that happened in the day
consider what you're grateful for
Good luck!
I also think it's good for some of us to surround ourselves with positive people and vibes.
In a way it could be contagious, or you automatically start bringing yourself up to fit in with the crowd.
I figure it's good to think about the locations and times I've had the most positive experiences and felt no so down.
Where I live now and where I used to live, felt "down" more than I felt "up".
Places I've traveled to and spent time in where even encountering another negative person didn't get me down are the places I need to be.
Reading a book or watching something that makes you happy can work, too.
Only temporarily though.
It could also have something to do with the people that live in the areas I currently reside in now and in the past.
What could make others positive and happy(the overabundance of motorized toys and sports, along with the other attributes of stereotypical, rural manliness) makes me rather bitter.
I've mentioned it elsewhere on here before, but the large amount of active and former military types around don't make me feel at ease either.
But then put me in area where there are bicycles, street fairs, and other relaxing, urban fare, and I don't really want to leave.
I'd also enjoy wilderness things like camping and such as well, given the opportunity any way.
Now all I got to do is see that the steps I've taken to get to these places permanently within the past, few weeks goes some where.
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