Why am I happier when I feel sad? (dating, thoughts, girls)

[corsair427]

Long story short, the girl who gave me my first kiss and love 1 year ago is still haunting me. We only had that month in June but it was the summer of my life. A girl most guys make love to in their dreams came after me. We shared 1 month passionately. She ended stopping our time with no explanation and cut cold. Last year was the most difficult of my life getting over that. I cant describe how perfect the moments we had were as if it were a fairy tale. This summer marked the 1 year anniversary of our meeting and dating. Even though ive dated many girls since I have had to break up because I cant fall in love with them at all. I thought I was over her. I like driving alot and listening to music because it calms me down after a hard day. I always find myself driving the roads we used to and listening to the songs as well. I can see the both of us at the last place we went out and can feel her last kiss in front of her doorstep. The point is when I relive these memories they haunt me terribly and chill me to the bone because they were the most wonderful times of my life. but I always wind up sadder but somehow I seem to like being in that place of sadness more than being happy. Im just confused and feel lost. I know I should forget but i dont want to. I really dont.

[NickofDiamonds]

For some reason you can't get past what most would recognize as "your first love." which became "unrequited love"

We've all been there, done that, and can still remember the bittersweet feeling that it left on our soul.
It's a rite of passage from the adolescent mind to becoming a mature adult with the perspective of experience becoming wisdom.

The fleeting glimpse of a fairytale perfect love is always better seen from a point of looking back as the perfection of the girl who gave you your first kiss is only preserved in your mind because of the brief time that you spent together in a summer month when nature is omnipresently in a stage of rebirth and ones thoughts are of the opposite sex.

You can't go backwards but you can experience life to the fullest and create another deeper and more fulfilling relationship only if you allow yourself to live in the present and use the past only as a touchstone for your thoughts, but not for your dreams of the future.

It is said that there's someone for everyone out there and you need to free your thoughts so you can go forward in your life and can recognize the moment when she arrives.

So get out there and enjoy all that life has to offer before you realize that as we grow older and mature, we find that familiarity breeds contempt because the same traits that so endeared a person to us are the same traits that will now sound like nails on a chalkboard.

[corsair427]

Originally Posted by NickofDiamonds

The fleeting glimpse of a fairytale perfect love is always better seen from a point of looking back as the perfection of the girl who gave you your first kiss is only preserved in your mind because of the brief time that you spent together in a summer month when nature is omnipresently in a stage of rebirth and ones thoughts are of the opposite sex.

This quote right here is the most honest and beautifully written way ive heard this put. It was the magic month as sung about in all the great song. Someone else told me once that it might be because I dont ever believe that moment will ever happen again in my life as it did. So i cling to that, and that i think is also true.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by corsair427

This quote right here is the most honest and beautifully written way ive heard this put. It was the magic month as sung about in all the great song. Someone else told me once that it might be because I dont ever believe that moment will ever happen again in my life as it did. So i cling to that, and that i think is also true.

You're sweet...and that was a great paragraph by Nick.

[corsair427]

As an update you probably wont believe what happened but since ive been back home ive been lamenting over this girl and last summer and was at another breaking point. A few days ago she texted me and said she was having a going away dinner at the restraunt where we first met. I sat with about 10 other guys and it was awkward to see her for the first time again since we dated. At the end I was leaving and told her to walk with me to my car. There I grabbed her and gave her a kiss. I told her I waited a year for that moment. She said she wanted to hang out again one last time before she left, which was tonight. We had a normal conversation as if a year never even went by. We held each other in the parking lot and this time mutually kissed. I told her how much that summer meant to me and she said she would be back in PA in less than a year and who knows.........I really feel closure in this whole thing now. I took the risks necessary and it turned out well. For the first time since June 28th 2014, I feel free....

[KathrynAragon]

This is a good ending to the story. By "ending" I really just mean closure. Now if something happens between the two of you down the road, the pressure is off.

By the way, your experience sounds very normal to me. I think most of us have "been there." There's something about that first "true" love that seems to have a similar effect on people. I know I could have written your OP thirty five years ago!

[CaleWany]

It seems you haven't gotten over her (well;isn't that obvious?)
Just do this;or just think about this;
It's all in the past;accept that she's gone and will never come back;accept it;do the latter to make sure;then move on and see where life takes you and gives you