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I am willing to try anything to heal--so I'm going to add that book to my Amazon shopping cart, too. If it worked for you, I have hope it can help me. I'm in therapy, as I said--my psychologist practices energy psychology, tapping, EMDR, etc. I've heard that people have great success with EMDR, but we've only had a couple of sessions of doing that. I have a lot of fear that if I continue to do this work with my psychologist, it won't help me, and if it doesn't, I'll be left with no hope at all, after exhausting every possible avenue to try and get better.
" We don't suffer from what we THINK; we suffer from what we BELIEVE". Fred Davis wrote.
I don't mean to bore anyone, but the 'bogyman' is a good example.
As children, when we BELIEVED 'bogyman', we suffered fear; but now that we no longer believe, we can think about 'bogyman' and NOT suffer fear anymore.
Some people claim "positive thinking" does not work, (for them). they repeat affirmations till they are blue in the face, and they still experience the same old emotions.
Fred Davis tells us why.
While they think positive, they BELIEVE prior premises, and it's the BELIEVED thoughts they experience, simple as that.
Don't just THINK positive thoughts, but be sure to BELIEVE them if you want to experience different feelings.
That I am adored by my Creator; that all He wants to do is love me and give me things
and protect me in every way.
That He is so pleased with me in every way...and He waits for me to wake up each morning because
He loves that I acknowledge 'Him' in all my ways...that He loves that I rely on him in everything...almost to the point (not really) I could drive blindfolded...that is how much He protects me and makes clear my Path.
I love that, and I really, deeply yearn for that kind of spiritual connection with my Creator and higher power - with God. Not the God of most religions, but the God of my understanding. I'm not religious but I long to be extremely spiritual - something is stopping me, though. I know one of the things that gets in the way--it's my overeating/binge eating disorder and body image obsession. The ED disease, as I call it. Every time I binge or obsess over my weight and body, it clogs my connection to my higher power....when I was in OA, I got some clarity while abstinent, and I felt more connected to God than ever--unfortunately that didn't last because I had to move and lost my sponsor (and good friend), and I spiraled out of control in the worst way. Anyway, I'm rambling, but my point is that my self-hatred is also tied into this eating disorder and weight/body obsession. I despise myself on the deepest level for how (I perceive) I've destroyed my life. I want nothing more than to get well, but I've been trying for 1.5 years now, and have barely scratched the surface of recovery.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sakoz-2
quote;" I am willing to try anything to heal--etc." and "I have a lot,of fear that if I continue to do this work with my psychologist, it won't help me,....etc.unquote
Are you blocking your healing with that second quote? Is your psychologist helping you with that very thought?
I got amazing results by using EFT and EMDR, (by using both, I expected 'octane' results and I did; was it my expectation that worked, or 'boosted' those methods? Your expectation is that they won't help, and they don't.
Henry Ford said; "If you believe you can or if you believe you can't, your right".
There's my expectation and your expectation ,we're both right. Maybe you ought to change your expectation.
Doesn't your psychologist 'see' that?
( You ARE experiencing your expectations and other thoughts)
My psychologist and I have only briefly touched on my fear that these methods won't work. He taught me tapping, and has told me to do it when I get the urge to binge eat/overeat. He told me: "I can 100% guarantee it won't work as long as you don't do it." Kind of being funny, but I get the point.
However, my problem is actually getting myself to DO it (tap) when the urges come up. I've only done it once so far, because I'm so afraid that if I do it, and it DOESN'T work, then, again--I won't have any hope left. :/ But how will I know if I don't try?! The one time I tried it, it did stave off the urge to binge eat for a few hours, but I ended up eating some junk food later anyway (when I could have just tapped again, but the urge to binge was so overwhelming I did it quickly).
Some people claim "positive thinking" does not work, (for them). they repeat affirmations till they are blue in the face, and they still experience the same old emotions.
Fred Davis tells us why.
While they think positive, they BELIEVE prior premises, and it's the BELIEVED thoughts they experience, simple as that.
Don't just THINK positive thoughts, but be sure to BELIEVE them if you want to experience different feelings.
So when doing affirmations, would it help to say (for me, specifically): I BELIEVE that I no longer want to binge eat.
I BELIEVE that I am healthy and fit.
I BELIEVE that I love and accept myself.
I BELIEVE that I have overcome my eating disorder.
Is there a difference between saying those affirmations that way, or just doing affirmations without the 'I believe' part of it? Does saying "I believe" in fact help one to believe it?
Did you use the thought of 'bogyman' as a affirmation? You instantly, (without repetition) mistakenly believed your thought was 'real', (believing has the same effect as repeated affirmations, only believing works INSTANTLY; that's why we can 'condition' ourselves 'on-the-fly'.)
We not only were conditioned in childhood, we don't recognize that we are conditioning ourselves simply by 'believing'. If you don't recognize doing it, how then can you stop doing it? (SHIFT perspective.)
I'm not sure I quite understand the first few sentences. I don't know if I ever really believed the bogeyman was real, so that metaphor doesn't really work for me? Unless I'm totally misunderstanding you
I did, however, see a ghost when I was 10 years old, that I believed that was real (and I still believe it, lol). I'm trying to think of something I truly believed when I was young...well, it goes back to my beliefs about myself--I truly believe that I'm less than/inferior to most people, and that no one in their right mind would ever be attracted to me. I believe I'm unlovable, I guess. Logically I know I'm probably not, but in my heart, all evidence points to the fact that I believe I'm worthless.
I'm not sure I quite understand the first few sentences. I don't know if I ever really believed the bogeyman was real, so that metaphor doesn't really work for me? Unless I'm totally misunderstanding you
I did, however, see a ghost when I was 10 years old, that I believed that was real (and I still believe it, lol). I'm trying to think of something I truly believed when I was young...well, it goes back to my beliefs about myself--I truly believe that I'm less than/inferior to most people, and that no one in their right mind would ever be attracted to me. I believe I'm unlovable, I guess. Logically I know I'm probably not, but in my heart, all evidence points to the fact that I believe I'm worthless.
I think a ghost can substitute for bogyman.
quote;" -- I truly believe that I'm less than/inferior to most people, and that no one in their right mind would ever be attracted to me, I believe I'm unlovable, I guess."
There you have two beliefs. Beliefs are like theories; both have to be tested/verified BEFORE believing. It seems you automatically believe your thoughts in question, without empirical proof. (that's a mistake)
Byron Katie has a method of 'inquiry'; her key question is, "Is it true"?. You can see her method on line, you don't have a buy her book. Look it up, in the mean time I will see what I can 'come up' with to help you along.
So when doing affirmations, would it help to say (for me, specifically): I BELIEVE that I no longer want to binge eat.
I BELIEVE that I am healthy and fit.
I BELIEVE that I love and accept myself.
I BELIEVE that I have overcome my eating disorder.
Is there a difference between saying those affirmations that way, or just doing affirmations without the 'I believe' part of it? Does saying "I believe" in fact help one to believe it?
The only two I would say are the second and third one. The first and last contain the word "no" a negative and why focus on what you believe you are not doing? If you overcome your eating disorder by default that action in itself suggest that your beliefs are now that you love yourself and that you love your body, and that you are healthy and fit. So I would focus on only positive phrases and you do not need to use the word belief. You can say "I am healthy and fit" "I love and accept myself" it indicates direction action and your present state.
I would print off these phrases, place them on a keychain and everytime you feel negative about your body you can look at the key chain. Conditioning yourself to quickly change your thoughts the moment you start to become aware of them. You also need to deeply connect with what your saying, feel it, and make yourself believe that as your saying these affirmations that they are true. So true that you act as if you are everything you say you are and believe you are. I am healthy and fit-then let your actions and thoughts circulate as if you are healthy and fit.
Feel positive and be very aware of how beliefs don't just relate to specific issue in one facet of your life. Your unhappiness and beliefs about food and weight(I.e unworthiness) are probably also present in other facets in ways that you may not be aware of. Usually core beliefs are present in every facet but we focus on the ones that bother us the most-in your case weight and eating. But unworthiness could also mean that you aren't working the career you want because you don't feel like your good enough, or you end up dating or having friends that cause you to feel not good enough, or unlovable, etc. Your beliefs are reflected in every outcome you face, every situation, and once you change the core"unworthiness" belief these issues will continue to be prevalent.
So I think the body affirmations will be helpful in at least getting you to change your thoughts and perceptions about your body, but I think the most drastic change that would be needed to really get to place where you love yourself and who you are, is to address that belief. Say "I am worthy". Do the things that make you feel worthy, surround yourself by people that make you feel worthy, stop accepting less, and then naturally feel good as your saying that you are worth it. That positive feeling and that constant affirmations and the actions and things you do to reinforce it will help. Eventually you will get to a place where you actually believe that you are worthy without having to use affirmations and things like your weight will be resolved on their own. Because right now the weight is just the side effect.
Faith2187; Well said.
Don't use 'no' in an affirmation; it works against you ; like;"Don't think of a elephant". The words 'no', 'does not',' don't', do not compute by our unconscious. Without the word 'no', the statement becomes a directive/order/suggestion. The opposite of what you want.
The way to be free of beliefs is to recognize they are thoughts, (recognize at the level they are reacted to)
It's a challenge to say it a better way, I will 'work' on it.
The change takes place at the level of rewiring, after the fact, so it's hard to verbalize it.
Both EFT tapping and EMDR are physical non-verb, how to verbalize what's not verbal? (DO the physical movements).
TiffaNYC; I 'came up with a number of statements, one or more might 'ring a bell' for you.
The way to be free of (dysfunctional) beliefs is to 'recognize' they are thoughts.
How do you recognize your belief, (or when 'believing)?
You will be experiencing emotions simultaneously.
If your experiencing emotion, you are believing; (either overtly or covertly).
Emotions are like signals from geiger counter; if there's emotion, there is belief or believing.
When/if your emoting, your 'believing', (both automatically).
The thoughts you experience are the thoughts you 'believe'.
'Thought recognition' is like recognizing placebos 'as' placebos. ( we USE thoughts as placebos unintentionally).
How do you know you believe a thought? By the affects, you experience,react, emote to it.
"Believing" is involuntary, (been conditioned to believe), but we can learn to regulate the process; even if we don't understand "how" it works.
We manage emotions by regulating 'believing'.
We are not privy to how emotions are 'made', but we have access to whether we belive the the thoughts that elicit/evoke emotions.
When you "recognize believing" a thought, you can choose whether to experience the affect or not.
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