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I'm 19 and I feel depressed most of the time. The older I get, the less I can relate to anyone : peers, family, etc. I always feel out of place no matter where I am and feel lost and don't know what to do with myself. I spend almost all of my time alone except when I go to class or work where I awkwardly interract with people and make them uncomfortable. I always feel like I am just dead weight aimlessly floating through life unable to make connections to anyone. People have little interest in me for example whenever I am in a restaurant with other people the waitress will never look at me, just the other people unless I am blatantly talking directly to him/her.
I have no idea what to do with myself in any given situation. I have no idea how people my age date. I thought I almost had one but then even that fizzled out and I'' once again left with nothing. Sorry for the rambling don't know what to put here
Feeling occasionally "down" is not an abnormal thing in life. Pervasive, chronic feelings of depression are not something you have to just live with, though.
Depression can sometimes be something you "outgrow" but yours sounds chronic and debilitating so my advice would be to seek help for it; as TabulaRasa pointed out, you don't have to just live with it. Medication might help, and give you some space to work with a therapist on your issues. Check with your school's mental health service. They usually can refer you to someone who works on a sliding scale.
How is your relationship with your parents? Would you describe it as warm and supportive? My guess is no, as you don't seem to have had much effective mentoring. This is another reason I think a good therapist would help. If the first one you try doesn't seem to connect with you or doesn't seem to have a coherent plan, try another. It's a pain in the arse, but the fact is that they are all over the map in skill and effectiveness, and combine that with the fact that not every patient / therapist relationships "clicks", and it means you have to keep trying. I'd encourage you to make the effort, though, and soon; you are likely to get more depressed and it will only be harder if you wait. Sometimes just getting moving is key. This is fixable but you have to ask for help.
With happiness, that entails being dependent on others/things for your happiness which is why I don't strive to be happy, due to the inevitable dependencies. How can you be truly happy in a relationship/marriage when your happiness is dependent on your partner? You live in fear that one day your source of happiness will disappear, and then? They'll be looking at the OP and say: "Hey, Brother!"
I enjoy being sad and depressed, I cam to terms with it long, long ago, and don't envy seemingly happy people in the least!
Just remember, sadness/depression are expressed differently in other people.
Recall! There's a razor thin line between a cry and a laugh! So any of those people who see laughing too much, that may be their way of crying!
Consider it a victory if you make people uncomfortable with your visibly showing others you're depressed, as the saying goes: what we dislike the most in others, sits inside us somewhere!
Some depression is merely the result of anger turned inwards. Freud would often ask that question of a depressed client: Who are you angry with?
When I skipped high school in my junior year to sneakily see a Psychiatrist, that proved to be true, the anger turned inwards, anger directed at my Father. But I rejected the idea of medication and will to continue to reject meds for my depression. I prefer to let it all hang out and damn the consequences!
I think the older we get, the more aware we become (in general) of ourselves and the world around us.
(When we're kids, we are basically in a rose-colored bubble. We only know our immediate environment.)
The older we get the more we realize the world is much, much bigger than that.
While you may become more conscious of the not-so-great things in society (and life in general), it does not mean all the positive and inspiring things simply go away.
I'm 19 and I feel depressed most of the time. The older I get, the less I can relate to anyone : peers, family, etc. I always feel out of place no matter where I am and feel lost and don't know what to do with myself. I spend almost all of my time alone except when I go to class or work where I awkwardly interract with people and make them uncomfortable. I always feel like I am just dead weight aimlessly floating through life unable to make connections to anyone. People have little interest in me for example whenever I am in a restaurant with other people the waitress will never look at me, just the other people unless I am blatantly talking directly to him/her.
I have no idea what to do with myself in any given situation. I have no idea how people my age date. I thought I almost had one but then even that fizzled out and I'' once again left with nothing. Sorry for the rambling don't know what to put here
Anti-depressant drugs are a God-send. You deserve to have a better life than you do right now, and it's entirely possible.
I don't know about today's young people but my grandkids are 19 and 16 and I don't think I ever heard depression from their mouths. They are the techie world children but very active in sports and their parents kept them busy thru schooling etc. They are pretty driven to do well in schools...the older one is now in 2nd yr at ucla.
I grew up a long time ago, I'm 78 now, and don't recall anyone talking about depression. Many of us "kids" were dancing a lot...dancing makes one happy, sure did me.
I hit a 10 yr depression in 1991 and it went 10 yrs and believed it was sluggish thyroid and could not get supported since the Numbers were good in the MD's minds. They don't go by symptoms but we're numbers. In 1991 I was 53 and out of menopause. Got thyroid supported in 2002. Then I found out in 2006 how low my Vit D was., got that fixed.
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