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If you think about it, little kids and elderly persons have quite a few traits in common. I'm not bashing either demographic here, just stating true, possibly sad, facts. Anyway, for example:
* They can be very fussy about their meals.
* They have trouble sleeping through the night.
* They often forget simple things.
* They have short attention spans.
* They can't always follow instructions.
* They enjoy it when you read books to them.
* They can sometimes tell you insightful things.
* Etc.
And yet, I feel a much easier time feeling compassion and empathizing with elderly persons than with little kids, when either person is acting difficult or erratic. In case of an elderly person, it could be anything: from mundane issues like complaining about the texture of their pasta dish, to truly troublesome ones like screaming "I don't want to go to Germany!" in the middle of the night. I'd feel compelled to try to address the issue, like serve them a dish with a different sauce in the former case, or try to calmly talk to them and put up an American flag in their room in the latter case.
But when a little kid is acting difficult or erratic, I often have trouble feeling compassion or empathy. No, I don't want to hit/spank them or anything. But I do find myself thinking: "Somebody needs a strong authority figure to discipline them." With "discipline" being anything to set them straight without crossing ethical boundaries. Of course, if an issue can be quickly rectified, like a certain object casting a scary shadow, I'd fix it. Other than that, I just can't feel it . I just don't feel like I'm equipped to be a parent, and for everyone's sake, choose to be childfree.
I'm also more willing to donate time or money to charities helping the elderly than those helping little kids. Is it bad of me to feel that way? Or would you say it's a mental backlash on my part, to the American society being overwhelmingly child-focused? For a point of reference to the above paragraphs, I'm male, early 30's.
We all have our "gifts," so to speak, and if you are not gifted with compassion and empathy for children then it's good that you know that.
Unfortunately, I've seen people who DON'T understand it about themselves work very hard thinking they should volunteer with kids when clearly they are not cut out for it. Then they complain about how "awful" the kids are when it's usually just ... how kids are.
Go where you are needed AND where you can help the most.
Unfortunately, I've seen people who DON'T understand it about themselves work very hard thinking they should volunteer with kids when clearly they are not cut out for it. Then they complain about how "awful" the kids are when it's usually just ... how kids are.
I've volunteered for child-oriented charities on occasion, but those didn't involve working directly with the kids, just packing boxes of food for them. It was actually pretty nice; not to mention, doing repetitive manual labor did wonders in reducing the stress from my day job. But as far as working directly with people is concerned, I'd prefer to work with the elderly.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 02-03-2017 at 11:31 AM..
If you think about it, little kids and elderly persons have quite a few traits in common. I'm not bashing either demographic here, just stating true, possibly sad, facts. Anyway, for example:
* They can be very fussy about their meals.
* They have trouble sleeping through the night.
* They often forget simple things.
* They have short attention spans.
* They can't always follow instructions.
* They enjoy it when you read books to them.
* They can sometimes tell you insightful things.
* Etc.
And yet, I feel a much easier time feeling compassion and empathizing with elderly persons than with little kids, when either person is acting difficult or erratic. In case of an elderly person, it could be anything: from mundane issues like complaining about the texture of their pasta dish, to truly troublesome ones like screaming "I don't want to go to Germany!" in the middle of the night. I'd feel compelled to try to address the issue, like serve them a dish with a different sauce in the former case, or try to calmly talk to them and put up an American flag in their room in the latter case.
But when a little kid is acting difficult or erratic, I often have trouble feeling compassion or empathy. No, I don't want to hit/spank them or anything. But I do find myself thinking: "Somebody needs a strong authority figure to discipline them." With "discipline" being anything to set them straight without crossing ethical boundaries. Of course, if an issue can be quickly rectified, like a certain object casting a scary shadow, I'd fix it. Other than that, I just can't feel it . I just don't feel like I'm equipped to be a parent, and for everyone's sake, choose to be childfree.
I'm also more willing to donate time or money to charities helping the elderly than those helping little kids. Is it bad of me to feel that way? Or would you say it's a mental backlash on my part, to the American society being overwhelmingly child-focused? For a point of reference to the above paragraphs, I'm male, early 30's.
If it makes you feel better, I am the same way! Children annoy me to the nth degree! As far as being a parent I have a step son, but no biological kids because of choice as well as physical limitations. All I have to say is, I already never had that desire in my mind to be that disappointed when I found out I could probably never have kids without medical intervention. I was like...oh well, God knows best :-) I never had a lot of patience with my step son, and come to find out I was sadly right about him all along with what kind of person he is turning out to be (and it isn't good). It doesn't put a huge desire in me to go out and spend tons of money to have a child or adopt one, just to have another one that annoys me!
But that is the thing, kids grow up and become adults. They outgrow their annoying behavior, or become negative adults. Elderly...the grave is growing "up" for them, and they don't seem to have all the attention given to them as a child would. Its kinda sad, because their dependence level, emotionally or physically, can be just as high as a child! There is only a limited amount of time they will be on this earth...it's sad! They need love too!
But that is the thing, kids grow up and become adults. They outgrow their annoying behavior, or become negative adults. Elderly...the grave is growing "up" for them, and they don't seem to have all the attention given to them as a child would. Its kinda sad, because their dependence level, emotionally or physically, can be just as high as a child! There is only a limited amount of time they will be on this earth...it's sad! They need love too!
This ^^^
I feel much more compelled to quickly meet an elderly person's needs than a child's needs. Mainly because kids get plenty of attention lavished on them as it is: both by their hyper-permissive parents and by the society at large. But elderly persons often get ignored. Fortunately (and sadly), their needs can be met easily: by a few minutes of holding their hand, by reading them a classic book they know, or by letting them vent a little bit when they're awake, so they don't go screaming "Germany!" in their sleep.
(Clarification: in my posts, "Germany" is meant to reference PTSD-type memories about World War II.)
I am the opposite. I dislike most old people, and most little kids are a joy to me.
In fact, the ONLY old ladies (old meaning over 60, which I am now, lol) whom I actually liked when I was young were my maternal grandmother and my middle school librarian. My other two grandmothers had such a bad effect on me that for 50 years, I have dreaded the time when I would be an old lady, too. I truly think that many old ladies are just whining, complaining, bitter old biddies whose favorite topics of conversation are their health and the shortcomings of their acquaintances. I truly hope that I die before I turn into one of them.
(Btw, the adoptive grandmother was my mom's second husband's mother -- my bio dad died when I was an infant, and when my mom remarried, he adopted me, which his mother greatly resented. And in the case of my bio dad's mother, nothing I did was good enough for her.)
I feel much more compelled to quickly meet an elderly person's needs than a child's needs. Mainly because kids get plenty of attention lavished on them as it is: both by their hyper-permissive parents and by the society at large. But elderly persons often get ignored. Fortunately (and sadly), their needs can be met easily: by a few minutes of holding their hand, by reading them a classic book they know, or by letting them vent a little bit when they're awake, so they don't go screaming "Germany!" in their sleep.
(Clarification: in my posts, "Germany" is meant to reference PTSD-type memories about World War II.)
I know a lady that always liked old people more than children. She loves voluneteering in retirement homes, and thinks the elderly are fun to be around even when they have dementia. She can get through the difficulties of caring for them. She tried to be teacher in a high school and lasted a year. She hated dealing with kids. She has never wanted children and doesn't have them.
If I were to be honest, I don't like dealing with either that much. My emotional reserves are pretty low all around.
I know a lady that always liked old people more than children. She loves voluneteering in retirement homes, and thinks the elderly are fun to be around even when they have dementia. She can get through the difficulties of caring for them. She tried to be teacher in a high school and lasted a year. She hated dealing with kids. She has never wanted children and doesn't have them.
"Like" would be too strong of a word here. I judge people by their actions, not their age. But with everything else being equal, I have more compassion and patience for the elderly than for kids. I think that came to me as I got older, when being a senior citizen went from an abstract semi-joke to harsh reality that'll come sooner than I think. So even though I'll feel equally frustrated with either a kid or an old person acting difficult---not the same as being overtly rude or cruel to me---I'll have an easier time shrugging it off and showing compassion when an old person does it. By contrast, if they're acting rude or self-entitled because of the age, I'll lose patience with either demographic just the same.
"Like" would be too strong of a word here. I judge people by their actions, not their age. But with everything else being equal, I have more compassion and patience for the elderly than for kids. I think that came to me as I got older, when being a senior citizen went from an abstract semi-joke to harsh reality that'll come sooner than I think. So even though I'll feel equally frustrated with either a kid or an old person acting difficult---not the same as being overtly rude or cruel to me---I'll have an easier time shrugging it off and showing compassion when an old person does it. By contrast, if they're acting rude or self-entitled because of the age, I'll lose patience with either demographic just the same.
If you think about it, little kids and elderly persons have quite a few traits in common. I'm not bashing either demographic here, just stating true, possibly sad, facts. Anyway, for example:
* They can be very fussy about their meals.
* They have trouble sleeping through the night.
* They often forget simple things.
* They have short attention spans.
* They can't always follow instructions.
* They enjoy it when you read books to them.
* They can sometimes tell you insightful things.
* Etc.
And yet, I feel a much easier time feeling compassion and empathizing with elderly persons than with little kids, when either person is acting difficult or erratic. In case of an elderly person, it could be anything: from mundane issues like complaining about the texture of their pasta dish, to truly troublesome ones like screaming "I don't want to go to Germany!" in the middle of the night. I'd feel compelled to try to address the issue, like serve them a dish with a different sauce in the former case, or try to calmly talk to them and put up an American flag in their room in the latter case.
But when a little kid is acting difficult or erratic, I often have trouble feeling compassion or empathy. No, I don't want to hit/spank them or anything. But I do find myself thinking: "Somebody needs a strong authority figure to discipline them." With "discipline" being anything to set them straight without crossing ethical boundaries. Of course, if an issue can be quickly rectified, like a certain object casting a scary shadow, I'd fix it. Other than that, I just can't feel it . I just don't feel like I'm equipped to be a parent, and for everyone's sake, choose to be childfree.
I'm also more willing to donate time or money to charities helping the elderly than those helping little kids. Is it bad of me to feel that way? Or would you say it's a mental backlash on my part, to the American society being overwhelmingly child-focused? For a point of reference to the above paragraphs, I'm male, early 30's.
I think it is pretty refreshing to hear someone have empathy for elderly people. They are often a neglected group. I work with seniors and totally agree more needs to be done to care for them.
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in the middle of the night. I'd feel compelled to try to address the issue, like serve them a dish with a different sauce in the former case, or try to calmly talk to them and put up an American flag in their room in the latter case.
. I just don't feel like I'm equipped to be a parent, and for everyone's sake, choose to be childfree.
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