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But it's the truth.
She will - she said as much today.
I see what you mean. But you realize that those "crushes" aren't a threat to the marriage. If you can discuss this side of yourself with your therapist, work out your fears, and come to a measure of peace with it, then it should no longer arise as an issue. Your anxiety won't get triggered by it, see what I mean?
Well, so we have to ask again; are we dealing with a different culture here? Or a conservative region of the US?
Are you ok with the level of sexual activity in the relationship? Do you feel the marriage is a good match, other than this sudden problem?
In a way, it seems like this issue is a good thing, because it has you two talking about things. It sounds like she was looking forward to a future with you, and with kids. This should be salvageable.
We are in the U.K.
I do get upset about the sex, but we are a great match.
You're "in the UK". Are you English? Or an ethnic minority? Just wondering, because of your wife's difficulty in handling the image of you having a thought about men. I suppose I can see how that would introduce an element of shock and uncertainty, doubt, into her world.
What if you explained to her that as a teenager, you went through a phase of having a crush on someone--maybe a friend, or maybe a movie star (some teens do go through a phase of sorting out their sexuality; hormones can be confusing), and this memory popped into your head and triggered your anxiety, which got out of control, so you did some research online, hoping to calm yourself down? That's all it was, was your anxiety exaggerating a moment from your childhood.
OP, you aren't being very honest here. You tell us you are in therapy, then we find out you had one session, one time.
You tell us you have crushes on men, then you say you are never attracted to men.
You mention in the same sentence as your male crushes that you and your wife don't have sex very often, but then later you blame her, making it a total non sequiter (so why mention it?)
You give us a whole story about how your anxiety caused you to panic about your sexuality, which got you in trouble with your wife, but then you say that anxiety is NOT the issue.
Try to look at the big picture. You very thought processes are dishonest and cagey.
You need to consider that you are deeply in denial about something. There is a reason you have made your wife your "whole world." That is NOT healthy and you are using her as a barrier against something.
And I will ask again for the third time: was this an arranged marriage?
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