Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I almost lack the will it would take to off myself anyway, but I truly don't feel suicidal. I think it's a terribly selfish act for one thing, and it would certainly hurt people I care about.
Truth be told, I do still find some joy in life. Trying to make new friends...I still have a sense of humor...
But man, I'm tired. I know the best part of my life--hell, of myself--are behind me. All that remains ahead of me is pretty dull and repetitive, coupled with worsening health. I fail to really see much point in going on. I've had a really good life, but I don't look forward to deriving the bulk of my future happiness just thinking back on fond memories.
I actually look forward to it being over. My kids are grown...there's just not much to stick around for.
Who's with me?
I will seriously pray for you... I think it's very brave of you to confess your feelings in this forum, and find it to be a 'somebody throw me a life preserver please - I'm drowning' message.
Your life isn't over, and there are lots of sunrises for you to encounter. You still have a purpose in life and you just have to find it - embrace it - enjoy it - and grow from it.
Heavenly Father, please watch over Griffs, and bring them closer to you and the glory of Your presence.
Guide them closer to you, oh Lord, so that they will be more aware of Your love and joy.
Good grief, there is SO MUCH we don't know about you, maybe others do but I sure don't...your age for one. There are so many "THINGS" to help keep us even and I'm 79 and continue to work on myself. I deal with bodywide OA and could scream a lot if that would help...some times it does just to vent.
Thyroid have you ever looked into thyroid support..thyroid CONTROLS so much of our body issues...69 some issues.
Give of yourself, do service/volunteer work. That's a great gift to give to others and oneself.
Just read alcohol and MJ are your buddies, could be your big problem. Clear the Mind and do some good.
Last edited by jaminhealth; 07-26-2017 at 10:26 AM..
I hear you, Griffis. I think you expressed your feelings very well.
I feel the same. No big drama, just nothing to look forward to. Worsening health that only portents worse times ahead. I spend more and more idle time thinking about the past, and what I was able to do then and never will again. I guess there's a downside to an exciting past.
Looking around, I see the "joy" others have in life, and I think some of us are just wired differently. I enjoy social events and friends, like you said. I have "fun" doing silly things like Frisbee, but then it's back to "being me" and that's just a drag. This is a new feeling for me---there used to be so much to look forward to, and I thought I had some worthwhile accomplishments, but all that has changed.
I wish there was a respectable, honorable way to just "step out"---like in the old movie "Soylent Green". A "walk-in" clinic offering a pleasant "departure".
I think you need a vacation and to consider getting some treatment for what appears to be depression. If you could afford a trip to someplace like Ireland or Wales (revealing my personal biases, lol), you might feel rejuvenated. The lush greenery was very (and unexpectedly) restorative to me as my friends and I drove around the countryside when we were in Ireland.
And Wales, well, I got to go to a town full of bookstores in the middle of nowhere, with walking trails and lovely restaurants. Alternatively, for a cheaper version, a trip to Maine or Vermont might have similar effects, though honestly, the ancient ruins were a huge part of the appeal of my trip.
My friends and I had no schedule - we did whatever appealed to us for the day- slept in, stopped at roadside attractions, ate leisurely meals. It was great to have my two best friends with me, but honestly, I'd have had almost as much fun on my own.
Treat yourself. And if you're still not feeling great, check in with a therapist.
You are experiencing an extreme malaise. It's a form of depression, which can be treated. I think mostly you need to find a purpose or mission in your life. A reason to continue beyond the confines of your own body. I suggest volunteering for an organization for people less fortunate. When you see how hard others try, and fight, to continue their lives, perhaps you will get a better perspective on the value of your own life. Suicide is a permanent solution to what is usually a temporary problem.
I wish there was a respectable, honorable way to just "step out"---like in the old movie "Soylent Green". A "walk-in" clinic offering a pleasant "departure".
Thanks for the thoughtful post. I appreciate the Van Morrison too.
I like what you have to say. My whole life I've started anew every 2-3 years or so moving to a new town or whole new state.
I have thought about twisting off again, but I would miss my kids. They may go out of state to college next year, however.
Unfortunately I'm in no physical condition to do hard labor, but I don't have anything to liquidate. I own very little. If chose to, I could be packed and loaded and on the road this afternoon. And that is a cheerful thought, but I'll likely stick around for awhile at least.
Honestly considering leaving for Mexico or possibly Central or South America.
I am just going day by day. I'm not a fiend but frankly alcohol and marijuana help a good bit. Gotta go to work now. Be back later.
I like change too. But you don't want to lose all your gains in life due to a change, good friends and financial security is hard to come by so have a plan.
I miss things too but "absence makes the heart grow fonder." Find something to do or job and place you can get a little of both worlds. Living in the same place for 40 plus years would kill me. I know people that are such homebodies and hate people so much they stay home except to go to work.
Variety is the spice to life, if you don't have it your life dries up. So volunteer, find some new hobbies or take a solo weekend vacation to mix things up. Take one kid with you to bond and expose them to something new out of their local bubble.
I've had similar thoughts in the past, but ultimately I want to stay and fix things. I can't just leave life without having even lived it yet. I know I could potentially help others less fortunate in the future, and I also have a lot of experiences to have and places to see. I guess one big thing is that I also am very hardheaded and would rather have my life ended by an external factor, rather than do it myself. You have to realise how fortunate you are to have been born, just like I am still coming to terms with. Life is a tough ride and you just gotta be strong enough to survive the bumps along the way. I am sure you are strong and it's just a case of bringing it out now more than ever. You are here for a reason, so make the most of it and be the best you can be.
I almost lack the will it would take to off myself anyway, but I truly don't feel suicidal. I think it's a terribly selfish act for one thing, and it would certainly hurt people I care about.
Truth be told, I do still find some joy in life. Trying to make new friends...I still have a sense of humor...
But man, I'm tired. I know the best part of my life--hell, of myself--are behind me. All that remains ahead of me is pretty dull and repetitive, coupled with worsening health. I fail to really see much point in going on. I've had a really good life, but I don't look forward to deriving the bulk of my future happiness just thinking back on fond memories.
I actually look forward to it being over. My kids are grown...there's just not much to stick around for.
Who's with me?
There was a time when I thought about what there was left in life after all the recent changes. It's a big world. I hear lake Baikal is beautiful and intend to see for myself. I also intend to go to Australia and find the biggest kangaroo I can, walk up to him and slap him in the face.
Just to see if I can get away with it. You only live once so you have to take chances.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
