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Hey guys, 32y y/o male and for the longest time it’s been super lonely. I doubt anyone here has a solution for it all but when Friday Saturday, even Sunday nights roll around for the longest time, not having one single person to call is depressing. Unsure what caused this. I’ve heard of meetup.com but not sure how to angle in those types of clubs, figured it’s best to come with one other person so as to not show oneself as not having any friend, etc. so many goals as well in life, but before any of that it all starts with personality, and your social circle.
Does anyone feel the same, and knows of what’s the best remedy for this? A solid few friends would be good, to learn form others, vice versa, not just acquaintances. I’m interested in skiing, even tho I’m a novice, and definitely basketball. Traveling. Hanging with people so you can post an Instagram/Facebook, a book club, anything that piques interest
My thinking is that to deliberately set about to find friends and companions might not work as well as finding some intense interest, devoting yourself to that interest, and then associating with people in that field who share that interest. That way you will have some common ground, something to offer and a context for your friendships.
I don't know what your interests are, but "traveling" is too vague, and something like a book club, which you do merely to find friends might ring false. But there are plenty of things to do. You could study veganism, learn vegan cooking, and get involved in Animal Rights activism, for examp!e. Women in this movement complain frequently that there are too few vegan men. You could study yoga, martial arts and lift weights.
Anything but beer and tv. You'll never make friends that way.
Hey guys, 32y y/o male and for the longest time it’s been super lonely. I doubt anyone here has a solution for it all but when Friday Saturday, even Sunday nights roll around for the longest time, not having one single person to call is depressing. Unsure what caused this. I’ve heard of meetup.com but not sure how to angle in those types of clubs, figured it’s best to come with one other person so as to not show oneself as not having any friend, etc. so many goals as well in life, but before any of that it all starts with personality, and your social circle.
Does anyone feel the same, and knows of what’s the best remedy for this? A solid few friends would be good, to learn form others, vice versa, not just acquaintances. I’m interested in skiing, even tho I’m a novice, and definitely basketball. Traveling. Hanging with people so you can post an Instagram/Facebook, a book club, anything that piques interest
I would recommend going to a Meetup even if you have to go alone. There are a lot of people that go to them alone. Typically there is a core group of people and then there is a revolving door of those who come a few times but don't continue to show up. Commit to a group and go to all/most of the events. Eventually you'll meet people you click with and your social life will develop from there.
Hey guys, 32y y/o male and for the longest time it’s been super lonely. I doubt anyone here has a solution for it all but when Friday Saturday, even Sunday nights roll around for the longest time, not having one single person to call is depressing. Unsure what caused this. I’ve heard of meetup.com but not sure how to angle in those types of clubs, figured it’s best to come with one other person so as to not show oneself as not having any friend, etc. so many goals as well in life, but before any of that it all starts with personality, and your social circle.
Does anyone feel the same, and knows of what’s the best remedy for this? A solid few friends would be good, to learn form others, vice versa, not just acquaintances. I’m interested in skiing, even tho I’m a novice, and definitely basketball. Traveling. Hanging with people so you can post an Instagram/Facebook, a book club, anything that piques interest
Why are you stomping down the opportunity before you even get started with this type of thinking?
You're not going to go somewhere to try to meet people unless you already have someone to go with? That's just self-defeating behavior.
Like Kara said, go with an interest in mind. And you can go alone. Plenty of us have done it and met people that way. You already mentioned some interests. Start there. Or browse Meetup and see what might be in your area that catches your eye.
I did not know until recently that some people go to Meetup purely for social reasons/hoping to find a partner, and then they complain that it didn't go as they expected. I went to a specific group that met for a specific purpose, and I met people who were on the same page as me.
Hey guys, 32y y/o male and for the longest time it’s been super lonely. I doubt anyone here has a solution for it all but when Friday Saturday, even Sunday nights roll around for the longest time, not having one single person to call is depressing. Unsure what caused this. I’ve heard of meetup.com but not sure how to angle in those types of clubs, figured it’s best to come with one other person so as to not show oneself as not having any friend, etc. so many goals as well in life, but before any of that it all starts with personality, and your social circle.
Does anyone feel the same, and knows of what’s the best remedy for this? A solid few friends would be good, to learn form others, vice versa, not just acquaintances. I’m interested in skiing, even tho I’m a novice, and definitely basketball. Traveling. Hanging with people so you can post an Instagram/Facebook, a book club, anything that piques interest
You're much too self-conscious about being single. Most people who join Meetups show up alone. That's what the groups are for, pretty much; to provide opportunities for people to make friends and share common interests.
Check out any travel bookstores your town may have. Some offer seminars, where people share their travel experiences w/PowerPoint presentations, and the like. These function as social events, as well. Same with some recreational equipment stores. Start attending author lectures at other bookstores, too. You might find out about a book club. Check the events calendar in your local newspaper or online, for book clubs or anything else that piques your interest. Check out your local Parks Dept.; they usually have a calendar of events, like soccer or volleyball leagues, martial arts classes, theater groups, music bands--a variety of activities depending on what their staff has to offer.
Consider volunteering for non-profit orgs of some sort: enviro orgs, political or public interest groups (Ralph Nader's PIRG's are still going strong, in many states), or charitable community-oriented orgs, whatever strikes your fancy. Parks trail maintenance crews, sister city committees, the possibilities are endless, OP.
I moved across the pond and was without any friends. I didn't make any in my new digs, became lonely, and striving for meaningful human contact drove me to venture out on my own. It was quite daunting at first, but once you get over that initial fear, it can actually inspire confidence. This may sound trite, but really, the first step is the hardest. Accept that the stigma of being alone exists, and give it the finger. If people judge you for doing something alone, force yourself to ignore them. Takes a lot of work, but it's achievable if you keep on at it.
I often go out on my own; I find it can be a fantastic way to meet new people. Granted, it's been very hit and miss for me, but nothing ventured nothing gained. In fact, I met one of my best friends randomly at a foreign language conversation group. A small clique of people there immediately wrote me off as a loser because I came to the group alone, but that's their problem. There will always be bad seeds, and you're worth more than to pay them any mind. Don't let petty people define you. You have more courage than they do simply by going out alone.
Take a chance and go to a meetup. If you're not pleasantly surprised then dust yourself off, gather your courage, and try another one. It takes a lot of effort, but if you persevere the pay off may be well worth it.
men meet and make friendships, usually through shared activity. Find a couple things you really enjoy doing, and join clubs focused on these activities
Funny to come across this thread. I kept sort of a typed journal on my old desktop years ago. It still works, and I was looking at the files in it not long ago.
I found something I wrote in 2010, not long after I'd bought a place 60 miles from where I used to live. The entry was about not having any friends down there.
Hey guys, 32y y/o male and for the longest time it’s been super lonely. I doubt anyone here has a solution for it all but when Friday Saturday, even Sunday nights roll around for the longest time, not having one single person to call is depressing. Unsure what caused this. I’ve heard of meetup.com but not sure how to angle in those types of clubs, figured it’s best to come with one other person so as to not show oneself as not having any friend, etc. so many goals as well in life, but before any of that it all starts with personality, and your social circle.
Does anyone feel the same, and knows of what’s the best remedy for this? A solid few friends would be good, to learn form others, vice versa, not just acquaintances. I’m interested in skiing, even tho I’m a novice, and definitely basketball. Traveling. Hanging with people so you can post an Instagram/Facebook, a book club, anything that piques interest
You sound needy, that pushes people away.
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