Making up names for item then becoming angry when people don't understand. (issues, aunt)

[stressedoutonSoFl]

Originally Posted by runswithscissors

She may have a cognitive problem and need medical care. Or maybe you just don't know her. Or both. There's no way YOU can know she doesn't have dementia which is a catch-all term for a SYMPTOM not just a diagnosis. Since you didn't say this was a life-long bad habit or anxiety then OF COURSE there's something going on. Which is why you asked, right?

NOTHING you said indicates she's "normal".

Not just the word problem but her anxiety. CRYING? Or did you exaggerate and she wasn't literally crying but complaining. It's hard to know what people are talking about on the internet.

And she doesn't live with you? Which you just glossed over...so you don't really see her daily activities. Dementia is the world's greatest Academy Award Winning Actor.

Which is also why you probably didn't know the cereal is called Honey Bunches of Oats and IS VERY High in sugary refined unhealthy carbs.

Also, you can check your blood sugar in real time - it doesn't need to be "sent" anywhere so I'm not sure you're really in tune with what she's doing. And trust me, a doctor is not going to do labwork that isn't necessary so you need to get the accurate picture which is probably her taking her own readings.

You don't have to be diabetic to be concerned. It's a very good idea to monitor your blood glucose if you're trying to avoid diabetes or being too LOW...IE if you're on a certain diet like low carb/Keto.

Or if you're eating Honey Bunches of Oats. Obviously she's not doing Keto if fats disturb her and she's got some goofy unhealthy diet, anyway. Fats HELP blood glucose - you may want to tell her.

Diabetes or the potential for it is probably the number one health problem in America. It runs on my mother's side so I wanted my blood glucose to be in the low 80's not the 90's which is too close to comfort for me, so with my BG monitor I was able to bring it down immediately with slight dietary changes. Including stopping using Splenda.

She could also be developing what is called "fixations" in the dementia disease world.

The family is always the last to see and comprehend these dementia onsets - evidenced by the Caregiving Forum. My suggestion is you not let her annoy you guys but try and figure out how to get her to deal with it. The MOST MAJOR problem in this whole scenario. Meaning, getting a medical workup. Finding techniques to remain CALM. Distraction and diversion is what you want to do instead of trying to win a fight which you'll NEVER EVER win with dementia.

You may be LUCKY and be able to say "Hey mom, you may be having a vitamin deficiency, let's go get that checked." Since she's in some way interested in that stuff.

Also you'll want to start figuring out some advance planning..Power of Attorney (POA) etc so when she needs medical or financial advocacy, SOMEONE in the family is authorized. And the husbands/fathers aren't always willing to address it either.

Not to mention the skyrocketing cost of requiring Memory Care residency or even in home health care.

It would be VERY good if you COULD get her to cut out all those carbs since there is some evidence it helps cognitive status. But it's possible her fixation will only cause a fight if you try and pretend you take her BG monitoring seriously and try to "work with" her concerns in a positive way. Paranoia is also a side bonus with dementia, sadly.

I suggest you continue to take all this seriously but not introduce more anxiety into the picture which will only escalate your interactions. Like, if your dad didn't buy the right cereal, he should take the blame and not fight with her. Or go back out to get it. "Oh you know how I am, hon, I'm an airhead".

Which may not even work because with dementia the brain is demanding someone to argue with...even if that person tries and take the blame, the brain insists on escalating it or finding an alternate complaint. Like in the NEXT sentence!

Lastly, don't let life long family dynamic color the picture and influence your reactions. Easier said than done but it's a big problem. And somehow I suspect this applies here, too, based on these anecdotes and the seeming distance and [lack of] communications that run in the family. I'd say it's more common than uncommon on the Caregiving Forum. But people don't always reveal the decades old dynamics till they're on the spot.

I dont think you understand what I'm saying. She is NOT diabetic. She and my father dont even eat Honey Bunches of Oats. She KNOWS and ADMITS that she WILLINGLY uses the wrong words and names then cries and says we're mean for not understanding her.

[ClaraC]

StressedOut, your post falls in the category that makes me say "hmm".

I knew she was talking about Suddenly Salad when I first read Suddenly Susan and mayo. It makes me squint at the screen to wonder why it took y'all 2 hours to get to that point.

Also, I know people who like to use wrong words for things because they're funny. If you question them they'll say what the right word is, but go on to using the wrong one because they think it's funny. "Widdle biddy bunny" is one of those things.

I know people who accidentally use wrong words for things and they don't know they're doing it. They get a little bit embarrassed, and say oh yes that's what I meant.

I don't know anyone on earth who purposely uses wrong words and then gets frustrated to tears when others don't know what they're referring to.

*don't know*

[winterbird]

My father deliberately pronounces words wrong. He loves to get under people's skin and get a rise out of them. It's a very sadistic trait, really.

[goldenlove]

My mom used to mispronounce words or call things by incorrect names. We thought it was charming and at her memorial service, we all recalled her different "momisms". We knew what she meant and the only time she got frustrated is when one of my sisters would insist on correcting her every.single.time she used one of her "momisms". I didn't blame her, honestly. My mom was intelligent, but this was one of her quirks. We all have them.

[steiconi]

My husband does something similar; we call it billspeak.

I suspect it's just lack of attention on their part, and the anger is impatience when others don't fill in the gaps. They just don't want to be bothered coming up with the right word.

Sometimes it's funny, sometimes irritating.

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by stressedoutonSoFl

I dont think you understand what I'm saying. She is NOT diabetic. She and my father dont even eat Honey Bunches of Oats. She KNOWS and ADMITS that she WILLINGLY uses the wrong words and names then cries and says we're mean for not understanding her.

If she "cries and says that you are mean" when you don't understand her made-up words, IMHO, she is either being a big jerk or, much more likely, has some type of cognitive or brain damage. Even a minor stroke or minor head injury years ago, that was undiagnosed and untreated, could cause "verbal quirks" like that.

It isn't like she is making up cute little names for people or objects and then laughingly using them with a sly wink.

What does her doctor say about her using made-up words?

I remember when a friend's mother used to do and say "quirky things" when she was in her early 50s. Everyone would laugh and say that she was scatterbrained. Sadly, it was actually early onset Alzheimer's.

[NorthofHere]

Originally Posted by stressedoutonSoFl

I'm trying to figure out the psychology behind what my mother does. She has a habit of making up new names for items or food (even people on occasion) then becomes extremely angry when no one can figure out what she's talking about.

Last week she yelled at my husband because "he bought Suddenly Susan and she thinks mayo is too fatty!". It took 2 hours to figure out that she was mad that he bought Suddenly Salad and that she doesnt like it. She doesnt live with us and doesnt have to eat it.

She cried because my dad didnt bring her "the honey bunch". She wanted cereal..

For the past couple days shes been talking about what "Norm" is up to. None of us know anyone named Norm and when she questioned her she just kept saying Norm! Turns out she'd been watch as show with Norman Reedus in it and thought all of us watch it and mentally refer to him as Norm

She's only 60, no dementia or mental illness aside from painfully bossy. What could be doing on?

Symptoms you are describing do sound like dementia or possibly stroke or another medical reason. Get her to a doctor right away for testing. The sooner the better.

[NorthofHere]

Originally Posted by stressedoutonSoFl

I dont think you understand what I'm saying. She is NOT diabetic. She and my father dont even eat Honey Bunches of Oats. She KNOWS and ADMITS that she WILLINGLY uses the wrong words and names then cries and says we're mean for not understanding her.

Yes, people with dementia know they are using the wrong words..unfortunately they can't find the right words so they say something that sort of describes or sounds like what they are wanting to say; hence Suddenly Susan. Saying she is willingly using the wrong words is a cover up because she knows something is wrong. If this isn't "normal" behavior for her; in other words has done this all her life, then get her to a doctor for evaluation.

[Electrician4you]

Originally Posted by stressedoutonSoFl

I'm trying to figure out the psychology behind what my mother does. She has a habit of making up new names for items or food (even people on occasion) then becomes extremely angry when no one can figure out what she's talking about.

Last week she yelled at my husband because "he bought Suddenly Susan and she thinks mayo is too fatty!". It took 2 hours to figure out that she was mad that he bought Suddenly Salad and that she doesnt like it. She doesnt live with us and doesnt have to eat it.

She cried because my dad didnt bring her "the honey bunch". She wanted cereal..

For the past couple days shes been talking about what "Norm" is up to. None of us know anyone named Norm and when she questioned her she just kept saying Norm! Turns out she'd been watch as show with Norman Reedus in it and thought all of us watch it and mentally refer to him as Norm

She's only 60, no dementia or mental illness aside from painfully bossy. What could be doing on?

might want to have some tests. I occasionally interchange my words but it’s a mistake and I dont get mad over it

[runswithscissors]

Originally Posted by stressedoutonSoFl

I dont think you understand what I'm saying. She is NOT diabetic. She and my father dont even eat Honey Bunches of Oats. She KNOWS and ADMITS that she WILLINGLY uses the wrong words and names then cries and says we're mean for not understanding her.

I don't think you understood a word I said.

I am not diabetic either but I check my blood glucose.

I knew right away what the Honey Bunch cereal meant.

But like I said, it's proven on the Caregiving Forum that family is always in denial and very slow to figure out what's going on and usually too late. Often angry at the subject, too.

At least you know you can post there when the time comes. Please bookmark my reply post.

Kind of like you're suggesting she can cry REAL TEARS just for fun or to pull your chain.

What more can the woman do? She's ADMITTING she can't find the right words but YOU see it as being UNWILLING.

I bet you're not even aware that crying (or laughing inappropriately) s a VERY REAL symptom of someone with a neurological condition. There's even a commercial on TV about it. Danny Glover.

Pseudobulbar Affect. It's a disturbance secondary to a neurological disorder or brain injury. Often mis-diagnosed as a mood disorder. And it's INVOLUNTARY.

Just for starters. What is the harm in getting her a medical evaluation? Another question that often goes unanswered on the Caregiving Forum. Until it's forced by a medical emergency.