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Not in isolation, but it is a must have. I’m looking for thoughtfulness and intellectual curiosity. If we can’t talk about interesting things all attraction goes out the window.
I like a intelligent guy that can hold a steady conversation about current events, with just a *twinge* of thug! if that makes sense....Gotta keep it exciting.
I like nerds with swagger. And style. . This is what I’d call my type.
I've been married for 25 years but back in the day I was a Size Queen.(not be confused with queen size which I am now) The hubbs and the guy I dated before him are both 6'4" and are not skinny.
Edit: I consider both of them intelligent but probably wouldn't have dated them without their height.
Um...maybe you know this, but the term "Size Queen" does not mean overall body type. It means you're specifically after men whose ah...one part of their anatomy...is um...of a certain...size. Just, if you did not know, be careful how you use the term, it means something different than this to most people, at least most that I know.
Hell yes. I have too many friends who are very "type conscious". They won't even consider a guy unless he is the physical "type" that they like, i.e. tall blond, or long rock star hair, etc. The problem is that the guy exhibiting that "type" may not have any other good attributes like intelligence, kindness, honesty, etc. When they meet a guy with all these fine attributes and he wears glasses, or is a tad fluffy, they just won't even consider letting him get a foot in the door. Hence they are single, or divorced from the guy that that met their primary physical criteria but turned out to be a jerk.
Someone else mentioned that when a woman is younger, she might be more influenced by looks. I'd agree with that. I was so hung up on the "rebellious" concept that when I was younger, I was all about guys who displayed that outwardly. Goth fashion, long hair, tattoos, piercings, all of that would turn my head. Then I was locked down in marriage from ages 18-36, and I no longer thought of other people as to whether they were attractive, exactly. I might observe that they were aesthetically pleasant or could carry a decent conversation, but the lead-in to pondering what one might be like in bed just did not happen. My brain doesn't travel that path when I'm in "taken mode." At all.
What was funny about all that, is that when I became single again, I thought at first that I wanted the same kinds of guys I had been attracted to as a teenager. I theorized (and wrote into my online dating profile) that I wanted long haired tattooed men of about my own age. Oh, so wrong. I went on a few dates and just felt completely put off by these types. It wasn't until I took a chance on an older (and relatively normal looking, and nerdy smart) man, that ZING! there it was. And he said something that turned out to be very true. He asked if I'd ever considered that some men who look normal, might in fact be truly unusual in far more deep and meaningful ways, than the guy who just wears the look. He and my present boyfriend both bear this out, they are far more unique beneath the surface, than any long haired, tattooed guy I've ever met who spends tons of his time trying to convince everyone he's one-of-a-kind...but isn't actually, so much. Complex, layered men. Who happen to be middle aged, rockin' a dad-bod and an unremarkable haircut, but who both had a ton of surprises under the hood, and you'd never know until they let you "in." Oh, both introverts, too.
Saw a thing recently on social media, something to the effect that introverts don't make friends, they just get adopted by extroverts. I find that though I am an extrovert (for the most part) I definitely form close relationships with introverts.
Saw a thing recently on social media, something to the effect that introverts don't make friends, they just get adopted by extroverts. I find that though I am an extrovert (for the most part) I definitely form close relationships with introverts.
Hmm, I am an extrovert too and most of my friends are introverts.
Yes, but I'm not interested in them. Is that okay with you?
That's fine, you just don't have the same interests as them. But from your post you made it sound like those activities are not for intelligent people.
I take an issue with calling all highly intelligent people "nerds." I have quite a high IQ, yet I consider myself just a regular guy. I don't really give a damn about most of the things so called "nerds" are into.
Also, most things that were once "nerdy" like video games or comic books are very much now in the mainstream. There is nothing nerdy about playing a video game anymore.
Well, okay, but veganism is more than a fantasy, more than a lifestyle, even (whatever that means). It's a way of relating to other sentient beings that is appreciative and loving. But this is not the place to discuss it, and I'm not going to. <<drops mike>>
I take an issue with calling all highly intelligent people "nerds." I have quite a high IQ, yet I consider myself just a regular guy. I don't really give a damn about most of the things so called "nerds" are into.
Also, most things that were once "nerdy" like video games or comic books are very much now in the mainstream. There is nothing nerdy about playing a video game anymore.
I'm not calling all highly intelligent people nerds. I'm saying that I like intelligent people who are nerdy.
To me, that does not mean a guy who plays video games, either. I'm not in fact into guys who spend a ton of time on video games.
My boyfriend is nerdy because he is a collector, he's got toys (mint in box! Highly collectible!) and he loves going to conventions, and he knows crazy amounts of trivia about all sorts of sci fi stuff, and he's got a head full of interesting eclectic interests to share with me. I mean I could spend the rest of my life with him and probably never run out of new music, movies, tv series, and such to explore, that he's already a fan of. And some of his interests, he's really "nerdy" about...which is, to me, when you're so into something you can just go on and on about it.
But I'm not getting into the differences between words like geek and nerd, which I know someone has explained, I'm just using such terms interchangeably.
I've been deeply into this band, GWAR. They aren't just a band, they are a performance art collective, and they've got this whole backstory and costumes and they put out a miniatures game, and comic books, and have made movies, and I was friends with the singer, and I've seen them 35 times, and my walls are covered in posters and memorabilia, I have a few really rare pieces highly sought after by collectors, I could authenticate autographs and I know tons of people in the fan community, and this one time I took blow up dolls to the GWARBQ...
And I could write a novel about my experiences with that, and you would not care, and I could do it anyways. And THAT, is "nerding out" or "geeking out" about (in this case) my own pet interest, GWAR.
Some nerds do that with regard to Star Trek. Or Magic: The Gathering. Or computer programming. Or...football. Yeah. I consider it nerding out, when you go on and on about football, especially around people who really don't care.
It is that slightly obsessive interest in something, coupled with a bit of social awkwardness, that makes a nerd. Not video games.
I’m a nerd, but not socially awkward. I think nerdiness is more marked by interest and knowledge of random topics. It may not be obsession but unusually high interest. More than a casual observer.
I’m a nerd, but not socially awkward. I think nerdiness is more marked by interest and knowledge of random topics. It may not be obsession but unusually high interest. More than a casual observer.
I can be socially savvy, I do have that extrovert thing going on.
But you get me chattering away about one of my pet interests...and yeah, I MIGHT not notice, in my enthusiasm, that the people around me are trying to edge away and their eyes are glazing over...
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. This is what I’d call my type.
