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Question: If someone tells you you've hurt their feelings or offended them do you:
a) Tell them you're sorry, whether you intended to hurt their feelings or not, or;
b) Tell them you're sorry they took it the wrong way and that they're "too sensitive."
I personally think a) is the right answer, though you might say it was not your intention. I think b), where you put the onus back on them, and criticize them on top of that, is a bit insensitive.
I think a lot of things have to be ignored. My daughter has hurt my feelings so much but so much I have to ignore.
Thinking back about my parents, they never really hurt my feelings. They did and lived in a way I didn't like, but it was them.
A good friend that I sometimes think of eliminating as a friend has hurt my feelings and I just decide to let things with her slide. I know I am way more sensitive than she is and that is the way we were raised, where we came from as children.
With friends we and I know this is me, have to let things go. When one can come up with more positives about the friendship, then the other stuff, let it go and that's how I do it,
A dear friend who is now gone, and I learned so much from her, said if we eliminated everyone who said something we didn't like, we would not have many in our lives. Again a balance sheet on the friendship.
Last edited by jaminhealth; 08-13-2018 at 01:28 PM..
a) is also a fake apology if you actually intended to hurt their feelings unless you changed your mind about your intentions.
It's best just to keep it real. If you think/know being 100% real will be too much to handle, then come up with something else, but don't outright lie.
a) is also a fake apology if you actually intended to hurt their feelings unless you changed your mind about your intentions.
It's best just to keep it real. If you think/know being 100% real will be too much to handle, then come up with something else, but don't outright lie.
It depends. If they're offended that I called them on their racist or otherwise bigoted nonsense (or similar), the response is likely to be something along the lines of "tough".
If its something unrelated to their failure to behave like a decent human being, I will of course apologize.
If they frequently need an apology, for ANY reason, I'll just start avoiding them altogether.
Question: If someone tells you you've hurt their feelings or offended them do you:
a) Tell them you're sorry, whether you intended to hurt their feelings or not, or;
b) Tell them you're sorry they took it the wrong way and that they're "too sensitive."
I personally think a) is the right answer, though you might say it was not your intention. I think b), where you put the onus back on them, and criticize them on top of that, is a bit insensitive.
Ha!
If they say I've "hurt their feelings", I'd choose A
Certainly a)....but I would also clarify (if true) that it hadn't been my intent to offend them. Malice adds another layer that certainly goes beyond just being thoughtless.
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