Prejudice is not inherent in kids, it is learned

[unwillingphoenician]

On a side note, am I allowed to come up with a theory that let's me off the hook for all the bad things I do? I like the theories in this thread I can use to absolve myself of prejudice! That's a good start. What if I'm a criminal, and spy on people illegally for government, even in my own family? I'd desperately like to portray that as acceptable, but I'm having a little trouble, since it's patently evil, without any room whatsoever for discussion. But if anyone can think of way to help me twist my thoughts in the right direction, I'm all ears. Justifying things like this seems useful to people, and I'm all for useful things. Unfortunately I'm wedded to seeing things as they are. I realize that addling my mind with drugs would make me believe any nonsense at all anybody wants to peddle, but I was hoping to find just a garden-variety, tortured justification to put my mind at ease. Thoughts?

[Coldjensens]

Originally Posted by Good4Nothin

I grew up in an all white neighborhood, with no black kids in my elementary school. My parents were very emphatic about being liberal and taught us to never be prejudiced against blacks. But I still felt prejudice anyway. I felt that blacks were unfamiliar, strange. I didn't hate them, but I just felt wariness of them, or something, just because they look different.

Me too but it had a different effect on me.

There were only two black kids in our schools. I never really knew either of them. One was a jock, one was a burn out. I was not really in either clique (I was a Drammie if anything, or maybe a nerd). Prior to high school I never had any black kids (or any other culture but mixed white culture) in any school I attended. The most "different" people I encountered were Catholics.

My parents never said anything I recognized as prejudiced and did not allow the N word to be used in our house (and this was in the 1960s and 1970s). However, later, I figured out my mother was somewhat prejudiced, but she tried not to be. Still have never seen any sign of it in my Dad, he is really quiet though and does not express feeling or opinions much at all. However I knew my grandmother (his mother) was vocally prejudiced, and later in life, I discovered pictures of my Grandfather (Mom's dad) at a KKK parade in Iowa in the 1920s. I do not know whether he was a member or just present at the parade, he was a really sweet guy and did not seem to hate anyone.

As a child, I apparently found black people fascinating (which is also arguably a form of prejudice). My mother got upset when we went into the City and I would wander off and find black people to talk to. When I was older she would tell me how much it annoyed her not only that I would wander off, but I would consistently find only black people to talk to and hang out with until she found me. It bothered her and scared her that I sought out Black people and talked to them. I have no memory of that. I have pretty limited memory of my childhood.

When I went to college in the City, I had my first real experience with black people as friends and peers. I found them neither fascinating nor repulsive. They had a slightly different culture, different viewpoints, looked different, they did not seem alien or scary, they were just people, not any more different than the middle eastern people, or the polish people, Armenian people, or Mexican people etc that I met who had their own very different culture, outlook, traditions, way of speaking, mannerisms, etc. They were just a little different, not particularly scary. I was aware that they sometimes did not want me around, but that is also true of the middle eastern people Mexican people, Indian people, even polish people at times. There were times when any group wanted to be exclusively with their own people and outsiders were not welcome. It took a while, but I eventually learned to recognize those situations and go away. Being Danish, Swedish, English, Welsh, Scottish, Italian, German, Cherokee, Dutch, and I think a little Russian - I did not have a "people" so I did not get this at first and intruded at times until I figured out there were times I was not welcome even amongst people who would otherwise welcome me.

There were also times when Black friends told me I was in danger because I was white and in a bad place, especially for white people. That scared me some, but not necessarily because of race, just that I was in danger and likely to be singled out. There certainly were black people in the city who were scary and it could be scary if I wandered into an all black part of the city alone, especially if people stopped what they were doing and turned and stared at me, or yelled at me. Those two things did make me more wary when I entered a part of the city where I realized I was the only only white person around, or if I walked into a bar where I did not know anyone and everyone in the bar was black. Now, less so. It is at least my perception that If I walk into an all black bar or church, I am more likely to be welcomed as a novelty and possible given special attention (and food), than abused in some manner. I do not know whether the City has changed in that regard or just my perceptions and experiences.

I dated my debate partner who was black for a few months. Her dad did not like me and did not like that his daughter was dating a white guy. Now that Black person I found to be scary. Not because he was black, but because he was big, mean and scary and hated me. Also I knew he had a gun.

I never introduced my girlfriend to my parents. I did not introduce any of my girlfriends to my parents, and only very few of my other friends - my Mom had a biochemical disorder and was pretty crazy for many years. So I have no idea how they would have reacted.

Flash forward to when my kids were little and I discovered my three year old daughter talking to a black lady who was walking down the street with her baby in a stroller. It made me nervous because I thought the conversation I overheard would make the lady angry. She was saying: Your baby is brown, why is your baby brown? . . . You are brown, I am not brown, I am pink. Why am I pink?" Much to my relief, the lady was actually amused and gave her a very good explanation.

[treemoni]

Originally Posted by unwillingphoenician

On a side note, am I allowed to come up with a theory that let's me off the hook for all the bad things I do? I like the theories in this thread I can use to absolve myself of prejudice! That's a good start. What if I'm a criminal, and spy on people illegally for government, even in my own family? I'd desperately like to portray that as acceptable, but I'm having a little trouble, since it's patently evil, without any room whatsoever for discussion. But if anyone can think of way to help me twist my thoughts in the right direction, I'm all ears. Justifying things like this seems useful to people, and I'm all for useful things. Unfortunately I'm wedded to seeing things as they are. I realize that addling my mind with drugs would make me believe any nonsense at all anybody wants to peddle, but I was hoping to find just a garden-variety, tortured justification to put my mind at ease. Thoughts?

People use "prejudice" as a synonym and euphemism for racism when it's really not. We are all prejudice and biased. You show bias when you prefer one fruit over the other. If you weren't prejudice, you wouldn't be able to assess a potentially dangerous situation and know to avoid it. The problem comes when you are prejudice and biased against people because of their skin color or ethnic group and you treat them differently based primarily on those characteristics. When, despite objective evidence, you continue to treat someone negatively according to your idea about who they are because of their race or ethnicity and not their behavior as a person. I had a superior move heaven and earth to prove I couldn't do my job correctly when the opposite was true. This idiot obviously thought people like me were naturally inferior and when that wasn't reality, she worked extremely hard to make it true. To accept that I wasn't inferior would mean she was wrong, and that just couldn't happen.

Your prejudice is a tool to help you make sense of the world. It should not be a vehicle to treat others in ways that support an irrational worldview that has no basis in reality.

[Ralph_Kirk]

Originally Posted by treemoni

People use "prejudice" as a synonym and euphemism for racism when it's really not.

And that is what the OP is attempting to read into some studies.

First, there is the question of whether an infant develops "preferences" very early in life. Certainly, and I don't think anyone would be surprised that that.

Essentially, an infant would prefer faces similar to those it had become familiar with from birth. Moreover, young human beings are intelligent enough to have differences in what features they settle on as "similarities." Although skin color is something we'd consider major, I suspect an infant exposed to multiple skin colors would use additional discriminators--they're certainly able to distinguish one face fully from another, if they have to go that far.

However, by the time a child has become old enough for preschool--a factor that is being conflated in these studies of "prejudice in kids," the child has been strongly influenced by a good many factors of his upbringing. I know that by that time, my own son had inculcated a huge amount of information from the television programs I had playing in the home, from conversations, et cetera, and had integrated it into his understanding of the world...in some surprising ways, as it turned out.

So by the time a child is ready for school, we're not in any way talking about "innate" prejudices, but fully learned ones.

[Tokinouta]

Treemoni is correct, having fear of the unknown is a protection trait we are all born with. It's meant as an aid, all animals exhibit it. If you watch any nature show on animal behavior you'll see it. Stay away from the unknown, it's not safe.

But, we are also not born naturally crapping on a potty or getting dressed to go outside. So we teach our children what is socially acceptable, even if it goes against nature. It's even more dangerous to not become a productive, acceptable member of the pack. The best way to quell it is to make sure your child is exposed to a wide variety of human beings in a good setting. A diverse school setting, book club, etc. If it's not a good setting it can be reinforced.

It's just another instinct we suppress. Which is why a few find comfort in just finding a small pack where it still exists and is acceptable. A nude beach, for example, or a white supremacy group. (unfortunately)