All I've learned about Canadians, I've learned from HGTV (south park, accent, show)

[Tracysherm]

I've only known a few Canadians in my life, and they were all very different people, so I know this is just a generalization. I'm starting this thread just for fun, for those of us who watch HGTV almost daily. Most of us have shared our observances of overly-entitled couples shopping for homes with all kinds of wacky requirements (acres of granite, dual sinks, open plan). But I've recently made a different kind of observation: how HGTV presents Canadians.



What I've learned about Canadians from HGTV:

1. You never get tired of hearing them say things like "ootside" or "proh-cess." They say "en suite" so much, that all Americans now say it when it's just a "master bath." It's fun to drink a shot of Canadian whisky whenever they say "ootside," "proh-cess," or "en suite."
2. Canadians must all have HUGE incomes, since they're always buying houses worth $400,000-$900,000. Even with these huge budgets, the houses are in crowded areas and need lots of work.
3. Canadians seem to tolerate and even love a whole lot of government intrusion into their private property, enough to put the State of California and the New York City Mayor to shame. Want to take down a tree in your own yard? Gotta get permission. Want to have an electrician or plumber do some upgrades inside your house? Gotta have lots of inspectors come in to check it out. Have a low area in your back yard where puddles form? Can't do anything to it unless the environmental folks come out and give you permission. City government can even dictate how big your driveway must be or where you frame-in rooms in your finished basement. It's like every Candian city or town has an HOA!
4. Even with all the intrusive inspections, rules and regs property owners must follow, Canadians always learn that the person who owned their house before them had all their work done without the proper permits and it's not up to code.
5. The worst thing any Canadian can hear when a wall is opened up, that sends shivers down their spines, is "Oh no! It's knob-and-tube!"
6. All Canadians want to live "down town" or "close to down town." All Canadians must be city people who love hustle and bustle. They have to walk to shops, walk to get coffee, walk to nightlife, etc and they don't want to have to drive anywhere, even 10 minutes away.
7. Canadians HATE suburbs. When they look at a perfectly nice home in a suburb that's 15 minutes from a city, they yell "No!!!" and complain how it's "too far from everything" they like to do. They prefer to pay a whole lot more money for a house half the size with a postage stamp yard or no yard.
8. Even though Canada has slightly more square miles than the US, all Canadians must be crowded into a couple of expensive cities, and no suburbs or rural areas exist in between those cities. In between cities there must be vast wastelands where no one lives.
9. In the very few suburbs that do exist in Canada, the newer-construction houses are big like in the US, but they are about 4 feet apart from each other. They like to be "close to everything" even their neighbors.
10. Almost every Canadian has to rent out a basement or attic apartment in order to afford their house, even though they are all super-wealthy (see #2).
11. Canadians make all major real estate decisions standing outside on a sidewalk talking to each other, or sitting in a coffee shop.
12. No one in Canada buys a house until a super-hot guy in a tool belt or two dorky twins show them 3-D computer images of how the house "can" look. Or until a smarmy gay man in a suit convinces them that an annoying British woman's designs are bad.
13. Every house in Canada has some hidden ticking-timebomb disaster-waiting-to-happen that is not discovered until the home is being remodeled.
14. People in Canada are so desperate for apartments that as soon as someone puts in a basement apartment, twenty people are in a bidding war for the apartment and it rents for more than what anyone anticipated.
15. Everyone in Canada wants a "four-piece washroom" but the tub with the shower counts as "two pieces."
16. Executives from all other countries are constantly going to Canada to rent short-term "executive rentals" for no reason at all. This means a basic apartment with flashy décor and a designated table to put your laptop on. These executive rentals rent for 3X as much as they would if they were just an "apartment." In fact, you can probably put stainless steel appliances, a glass desk, and travertine in your potting shed and rent it out as an executive rental, as long as you stock it with nice spa-like towels. And you get the proper permits.
17. If a single Canadian woman is shopping for a home, if she's not fat, she has to have a fat friend come with her. It might be the law.

We've all joked extensively--especially in the House Hunters thread--- about how spoiled and entitled Americans are portrayed on HGTV. But I haven't seen anything here yet about how HGTV portrays Canadians. Can you think of any more?

[snapdragon12]

No matter where Canadians live, they never want to move outside their current neighborhood.

[nanannie]

Fascinating observations--and so true.
And I love my Canadian pals, still,so true

[coolio69]

Those 2 skinny dudes are really vampires. Some kind of daytime mutation that allows them to walk during the day.

[Nodpete]

I suggest you take a vacation and visit Canada. It is a beautiful country and the people are great. I've been to all but 3 of the Provinces and hope to get to those one of these days.

[jim9251]

I learned about Canadians from South Park.

[maciesmom]

LOLing at #1.... and adding "aboot" to the list...

[maggie2101]

I'm half Canadian. My mother was born in Brandon, Manitoba and ended up in Los Angeles, CA. She did not speak with a Canadian accent. I have relatives in BC that I have never met, but a few that I have.

[DanielAvery]

There seems to be an aversion, perhaps even an allergy, to any kitchen appliance that is not sheathed in stainless steel.
White appliances must not even be offered in Canadian Home Depots. Probably another of those government regulations.

[L0ve]

I always though Canadians were those "War-Like People from the North"...until watching HGTV.

Now I know they all just want an "en suite" and granite counters in their 2 million dollar home (bought at age 21)...just like Americans!

Thank you HGTV.