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Hi, so this girl asked a friend of mine if she could hang out with me in high school and I didn't know her. We then became best friends and she told me if I wanted her to stop talking to other boys then I should ask her out. So I did, she lived in a huge mansion and my parents are divorced and I only took her to my mom's home in the neighboring town. My fathers home in the same town as her was really small and made me feel insecure because her house was so big.
Things were going great though until I got mono, the illness. After that I started to get a rash on my face that I later found to be allergic reactions to soy, dairy, corn, and peanuts, and probably other things. I thought it was acne though. The girl I was dating was extremely beautiful and had perfect beauty. Her beauty put a lot of pressure on me. When I went downstairs one day at my mother's home to get ready for school I noticed a makeup in the bathroom like the powdered kind and my skin was so bad I decided to put it on.
While all this was going on I had severe anxiety and depression and lost a lot of weight from the mono and even after the recovery was not eating from depression. Anyways she noticed I had it on one day at school and it was really embarassing.
All before this also I never invited her over my father's home and it caused me extreme pain and stress. As the rash on my face became became bad I began to push her away. We eventually just stopped talking.
Then I sunk into an even worse depression. I then lied and said I was suicidal though I was not really to get into a mental institution to try and get help but I was extremely messed up and my thinking was very frazzled. Her mother was one of the nurses. I should have went to see a psychologist instead. I don't really remember what I was thinking at the time but I legit had a nervous breakdown and all my friends will tell you this. This girl wrote a letter once to my mother saying she was worried about me. This was due to malnutrition, stress, and allergic reactions creating inflammation on the brain. Recently since I discovered that I don't get panic attacks in the grocery store lines at all. Though I do get anxiety and still have bad depression. I have had severe depression lately and had less depression when I was younger, I feel like my depression has became much worse.
It should be noted that boys wearing makeup is a theme in culture like Eric from That 70's Show wore it I think and David Spade's kid in The Father of the Year wore it as well I think.
My question is I was 16 when I started dating this girl, I started wearing makeup I think at 17 and I think was in a mental institution at 17 or 18, do I tell future women I date? I am 27 now and have never been with another female since. I have had chances but I am a shy person.
I am writing a book though and was going to have this be a chapter in the book. I am not sure how I feel about it, I wonder if it will scare women I am trying to attract. The comedian Bobby Lee though Mod cut. and his cousin did the same to him though which I think is worse than my situation. So weird stuff does happen and he has a girlfriend. I am into comedy as well. I became inspired to write about it from Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist the comedy cartoon, Burt Kreischer's comedy special Secret Time, and also Theo Von's podcast This Past Weekend which is about psychology a lot.
I don't think the situation is funny but I should try look at it in a funny way because the prefrontal cortex in humans doesn't fully develop until 26 in males and also I was extremely sick from allergic reactions.
Should I write about this or talk to a therapist first? I am surprised I am still sane for it was very traumitizing, I dropped out of high school and lost all my friends and I never got to tell the girl the truth. My life has been a complete disaster. I used to cry about it every night at work and still cry from it. I am getting ready to move to another state or maybe other country becaue I don't feel comfortable anymore with my old friends.
Also I tried to reach out to this girl and she hates me and won't respond which I thought was unethical as an adult though I was mean to her sometimes in an effort to push her away like lying to her saying I cheated on her in the beginning of the relationship because I was so scared of having her over and also when I wouldn't sit with her on prom night because I was insecure about my face and made her cry. A person told me once that many people think she is mean and I have witnessed her being very mean talking behind people's backs. I still want to apologize to her though and get closure. I would have taken a bullet for her that is how much I loved her. Her eyes once did the thing in cartoons where they turned into heartbeats when you fall in love and they sparkled as well. That is the only relationship I have ever been in but I like a women at a local bakery but I also want to move badly to Las Vegas to try comedy.
So should I tell women I was in a mental institution and used to wear makeup or just move on?
Last edited by PJSaturn; 01-07-2019 at 08:31 AM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
You don't have to tell potential romantic interests every sordid detail about your past, and yes, you should see a therapist. ASAP
Could therapists have different views on this though? I would think empirical psychological evidence would say to express yourself. I am writing a psychology book and putting this in as a chapter because for me it feels wrong to suppress it and have no problem doing so though for me it is not something I would really want to talk about with a women and perhaps women will think I am less of a man. In 5,000 years from now hypothetically in Heaven I probably don't think it is something I should bring up.
Like I said I think the prefrontal cortex doesn't fully form until around 25 in women and 26 in men. Also allergies are extremely inflammatory. Also emotional intelligence is very low from ages 16-18.
Last edited by BrainGardens; 12-27-2018 at 10:30 AM..
Could therapists have different views on this though?
They could, but it's really a common-sense issue.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrainGardens
I would think empirical psychological evidence would say to express yourself. I am writing a psychology book and putting this in as a chapter because for me it feels wrong to suppress it and have no problem doing so though for me it is not something I would really want to talk about with a women and perhaps women will think I am less of a man.
Some will think that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrainGardens
Like I said I think the prefrontal cortex doesn't fully form until around 25 in women and 26 in men. Also allergies are extremely inflammatory. Also emotional intelligence is very low from ages 16-18.
A therapist can also help you learn to sort what information is appropriate and relevant in conversation and which is not.
What is? Not having to say personal details of your life to people your in relationships with?
Determining what information is appropriate, useful and relevant in a conversation.
There are many factors you should consider when deciding what you should tell people. But the first decision you HAVE to make is to accept that people DO NOT need (nor want) to know every weird thing you've ever done.
Those factors include how long you've known the person, in what capacity (personal vs. professional) and how you may interact with them in the future.
You must engage a metaphorical filter between your brain and your mouth. Time in a mental institution? Not appropriate for people you just met and may work with. But a person you are in a relationship with would probably want to know about that.
Just because you have a thought doesn't mean you have to share it. If you plan to include these details in a book, you will want to consider whether their revelation could affect other people in your life as well.
Determining what information is appropriate, useful and relevant in a conversation.
There are many factors you should consider when deciding what you should tell people. But the first decision you HAVE to make is to accept that people DO NOT need (nor want) to know every weird thing you've ever done.
Those factors include how long you've known the person, in what capacity (personal vs. professional) and how you may interact with them in the future.
You must engage a metaphorical filter between your brain and your mouth. Time in a mental institution? Not appropriate for people you just met and may work with. But a person you are in a relationship with would probably want to know about that.
Just because you have a thought doesn't mean you have to share it. If you plan to include these details in a book, you will want to consider whether their revelation could affect other people in your life as well.
I feel like we as humans don't open up to eachother enough. Also there appears to be a negative stigma about mental institutions in society. Just like people get the cold people get mentally ill. Also we as humans are very hard on ourselves if we make mistakes which is good but we need to understand better that mistakes do happen and our brains are not perfect and to not stress out about it so much. Life is not like a videogame where we can restart it. A lot of people make mistake so we can relate to eachother when it comes to that and we have sympathy for eachother., especially if we understood what was going on neurologically where the structure of the brain plays a role in behavior. A brain could not be fit to handle an environment well so society has to be able to fix that through healthcare and people need to have understanding when it comes to that.
Last edited by BrainGardens; 12-28-2018 at 12:42 AM..
Just like people get the cold people get mentally ill.
NO, this is not true.
A cold is a viral, infectious disease that is easy to catch and typically treated easily as well.
Mental illness is not the same thing. It's not contagious, and the treatments can be complicated and lifelong.
I understand your desire to lessen the stigmas associated with mental illness, but spreading misinformation isn't the way to do that.
So in addition to determining whether something you want to share is useful or relevant, let's add "is it accurate?" to that list.
Why would people NEED to know that you once wore makeup for a brief time in your life?
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