Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Women who's self worth is tied up in men are often obsessed with their appearance and over spending on cosmetic procedures. Also women (and men) who care too much what other people think about them.
I don’t think that applies to most women who wear make up however. Most women wear make up or color or perm or straighten their hair in some fashion. Vast majority.
Women who's self worth is tied up in men are often obsessed with their appearance and over spending on cosmetic procedures. Also women (and men) who care too much what other people think about them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
There are some dudes insecure enough to love how a woman does herself up when they're first getting to know each other, but then expect (or outright demand) that she stop being herself once they're exclusive.
I am more often hear the opposite complaint, that once they’re living together or married, the woman stops keeping her self up. I must admit I’ve probably gained 10 pounds since we started living together 2+ years), and it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it would have when I were single.
Women who's self worth is tied up in men are often obsessed with their appearance and over spending on cosmetic procedures. Also women (and men) who care too much what other people think about them.
It's a nice sentiment, except that many people I will deal with in the world are men, and I *will* be treated differently depending on my looks. If I need assistance, they'll be more likely to help, more likely to view me favorably in other ways (my talents and qualifications, etc.), more likely to want to socialize with me, etc. if I am perceived as attractive. I have seen men complaining that female waitstaff at their local restaurant are not attractive enough, FFS. You think that doesn't send a message to women?
So, yes. As I said in an earlier post, when often men will tie a woman's entire worth to her looks, then she has to think about that as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
I am more often hear the opposite complaint, that once they’re living together or married, the woman stops keeping her self up. I must admit I’ve probably gained 10 pounds since we started living together 2+ years), and it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it would have when I were single.
But does the man also "keep himself up"? Did he ever do so to begin with? What was/is his equivalent of wearing makeup, doing his hair, dressing nicely, wearing perfume and nail polish, etc.?
...But does the man also "keep himself up"? Did he ever do so to begin with? What was/is his equivalent of wearing makeup, doing his hair, dressing nicely, wearing perfume and nail polish, etc.?
....showering and shaving daily (20 minutes, tops!) ...clean underwear every day? Guys have it pretty easy. Lots of younger guys where I work shave on Monday and are done for the week!
....showering and shaving daily (20 minutes, tops!) ...clean underwear every day? Guys have it pretty easy. Lots of younger guys where I work shave on Monday and are done for the week!
Exactly. But if a woman does only this, she has "let herself go."
It's a nice sentiment, except that many people I will deal with in the world are men, and I *will* be treated differently depending on my looks. If I need assistance, they'll be more likely to help, more likely to view me favorably in other ways (my talents and qualifications, etc.), more likely to want to socialize with me, etc. if I am perceived as attractive. I have seen men complaining that female waitstaff at their local restaurant are not attractive enough, FFS. You think that doesn't send a message to women?
So, yes. As I said in an earlier post, when often men will tie a woman's entire worth to her looks, then she has to think about that as well.
But does the man also "keep himself up"? Did he ever do so to begin with? What was/is his equivalent of wearing makeup, doing his hair, dressing nicely, wearing perfume and nail polish, etc.?
Yes, they let themselves go to for sure! I don’t think it’s that common for men to expect women to have make up on 24 hours a day when you’re in a living together type relationship. In real life, no woman is as put together even while she’s making breakfast is Sophia Vergara on modern family. That’s a fantasy, no one cooks in high heels!
Its not just the make up but all the different kinds of shampoos and skin lotions out there. Take a peek at any guy’s shower and you’ll see shampoo, soap (liquid or bar), and a razor. Take a peek at a woman’s shower and you’ll usually see different bottles of shampoo and conditioners, different bars of soap, and so on. Look under the sink and you’ll find even more beauty chemicals, lotions, soaps, and whatnot. Not so long ago Nivea or some of those companies started marketing a skin lotion to use while you sleep because “your skin can get totally damaged if you don’t”. All these companies come up with “needs” for women, women fall for it, and these companies continue to get richer and richer. How do tribal women they keep their skin silky smooth without using all the beauty chemicals women spend their money on?
Regarding something people have mentioned, men who want their SO to look nice when they are out together, and would be proud and happy to be with a sexy partner...versus men who don't want other men looking at all.
Both exist. Has a lot to do with their own self-image and insecurity stuff.
My ex wanted me to be "hot" for him in the privacy of our bedroom but never where other men might see, unless maybe we were going somewhere that he thought he could get into a fight, which he was so very sure could break out at any moment. He was just that kinda guy.
My present partner, loves it when we go out to parties together or even if I go alone, and I am beautiful, he feels proud and validated that everyone knows I am devoted to him, doesn't feel threatened by other men. He also sees it as, I'm with him because he is worthy and I've chosen to be. Not because some other guy has not "stolen" me away, as if that were even possible. Other guys can look all they like, but they can't touch.
They are opposite too in that my present guy isn't that impressed by lingerie or makeup at home. He has...simpler tastes. At least in terms of sexual aesthetics. My ex loved that stuff.
I dunno, isn't it nice, that not everybody is alike? I think it is.
Its not just the make up but all the different kinds of shampoos and skin lotions out there. Take a peek at any guy’s shower and you’ll see shampoo, soap (liquid or bar), and a razor. Take a peek at a woman’s shower and you’ll usually see different bottles of shampoo and conditioners, different bars of soap, and so on. Look under the sink and you’ll find even more beauty chemicals, lotions, soaps, and whatnot. Not so long ago Nivea or some of those companies started marketing a skin lotion to use while you sleep because “your skin can get totally damaged if you don’t”. All these companies come up with “needs” for women, women fall for it, and these companies continue to get richer and richer. How do tribal women they keep their skin silky smooth without using all the beauty chemicals women spend their money on?
In the past, women used natural things. I tried using coconut oil for awhile, but it felt greasy, and it's not any cheaper than commercial lotion in any case. The products they sell DO have benefits. My skin looks pretty good for my age, 57, and I do attribute some of it to products with retinoids that I've been using for years. There is plenty of research to show they help to keep your skin looking better as you age. Genetics is the biggest part, but there are products available now that actually do work.
When I was a kid, we didn't have conditioner, it wasn't a "thing" then as it is now. We had Johnson's No More Tears, which barely worked. Every time my mom washed my hair I'd sit there crying as she tried to get all the tangles out afterward. Now we have conditioners that take all the tangles out, what's wrong with that?
I think it's changed a lot for men. My honey has multiple scents of body wash, after shave lotion, and hair products too. I use body lotion because my skin gets dry and itchy without it. I use the kind you put on wet skin because it's convenient and goes on fast. I don't think I was tricked into buying it.
I think it's changed a lot for men. My honey has multiple scents of body wash, after shave lotion, and hair products too. He even has "Just for Men" for beards to cover the gray during "No Shave November". In my day, you would NEVER see a man in a hair salon. There was a Brady Bunch where Greg's hair changed color due to shampoo he bought, and Carol brought him to the salon. They had to sneak him in the back door so his friends didn't see him. Now you see men in the chairs getting their eyebrows waxed, hair colored, etc.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
