Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 04-17-2019, 11:30 AM
 
8,226 posts, read 3,428,579 times
Reputation: 6094

Advertisements

I talked about Mr. Madd in other threads. We used to play music together at open mics, but he often got angry at me. I don't really know why. So it was on an off. Now it's off permanently because he got so angry he called me "pathetic" in his last email. I'm pathetic because I'm single, and because some of the songs I wrote are sad, because my lifelong boyfriend died last year.

So Mr. Madd showed an astonishing low level of empathy in that email. Even for him.

I'm going to an open mic tonight (an open mic is where anyone can perform 2 or 3 songs), where Mr. Madd sometimes goes. The thought that he could be there is making me not want to go. But I don't want to start staying home out of fear or nervousness.

I think I should "face the music" and go, no matter how much I don't want to. I have not run into Mr. Madd anywhere since his last nasty crazy email. If he's there, I have to pretend I don't see him.

I am an introvert, used to be shy, do not find it easy to go into a bar alone, even without this problem.

I am assuming the answer is "Heck yes!" Is it right to make myself go even if someone who hates me could possibly be there?

I am not afraid he would try to kill me, or anything like that. I am nervous about performing if someone who hates me is listening. Maybe I would feel self-conscious.

 
Old 04-17-2019, 11:55 AM
 
801 posts, read 616,203 times
Reputation: 2537
Sing because it makes you happy and it will show. Close your eyes, if you must, and feel the music and the calming but powerful sensation of your own voice.

Your self-worth stands on its own, if you determine that it must. Do that and then come back and tell us all about it!

What some A**-hole thinks is completely irrelevant, whether it's him or anyone else. Give it the attention it deserves... NONE.
 
Old 04-17-2019, 12:03 PM
 
8,226 posts, read 3,428,579 times
Reputation: 6094
Quote:
Originally Posted by LieslMet View Post
Sing because it makes you happy and it will show. Close your eyes, if you must, and feel the music and the calming but powerful sensation of your own voice.

Your self-worth stands on its own, if you determine that it must. Do that and then come back and tell us all about it!

What some A**-hole thinks is completely irrelevant, whether it's him or anyone else. Give it the attention it deserves... NONE.
Thank you!! That is the answer I needed to hear!

You have to get right back on the horse that threw you off, or you will always be intimidated. Mr. Madd has tried to destroy my confidence, by saying I am pathetic and he hates all my songs. We should NEVER let anyone destroy our confidence.

When I was young, I let people make me feel bad about myself. I still have the tendency to let that happen, but I am fighting it.

In the past, I could always find so many reasons to feel I wasn't good enough, everyone else was better than me. Now I think life is too short for that!
 
Old 04-17-2019, 12:08 PM
 
8,226 posts, read 3,428,579 times
Reputation: 6094
This is kind of a tangent but -- I went to this open mic 2 weeks ago, was so relieved Mr. Madd wasn't there. I had a nice conversation with the lady who runs the open mic -- her boyfriend died recently, so we had that grief in common.

If Mr. Madd knew that, would he think she's pathetic too??

What he wrote in that email was so horrific. I understand that he was in one of his crazy rages. Over nothing, really nothing. Never told me why he was angry!
 
Old 04-17-2019, 12:13 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 8,039,853 times
Reputation: 30753
I think you would feel so much joy and pride in yourself, if you overcome your fear, and do what you want to do, inspite of him being there.


I think after the first time, it'll get easier and easier, and the more often you do it, the less space he'll take up in your head.
 
Old 04-17-2019, 12:53 PM
 
8,226 posts, read 3,428,579 times
Reputation: 6094
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I think you would feel so much joy and pride in yourself, if you overcome your fear, and do what you want to do, inspite of him being there.


I think after the first time, it'll get easier and easier, and the more often you do it, the less space he'll take up in your head.
Oh thank you, that is so encouraging. That's what I was thinking, but I wasn't sure. If I can face this fear now, it will get easier in the future.
 
Old 04-17-2019, 12:57 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 8,039,853 times
Reputation: 30753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Good4Nothin View Post
Oh thank you, that is so encouraging. That's what I was thinking, but I wasn't sure. If I can face this fear now, it will get easier in the future.

Yep. The first time will be the scariest, but you'll be able to say "I did it!" and every time after that, the fear will be less and less. I think you'll feel so proud and happy with yourself, that you did it, because YOU took control. :-)
 
Old 04-17-2019, 01:03 PM
 
8,226 posts, read 3,428,579 times
Reputation: 6094
And Mr. Madd thinks I'm not good enough to sing alone, and I would like to prove him wrong. Of course, I might end up proving him right.
 
Old 04-17-2019, 01:05 PM
 
8,226 posts, read 3,428,579 times
Reputation: 6094
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Yep. The first time will be the scariest, but you'll be able to say "I did it!" and every time after that, the fear will be less and less. I think you'll feel so proud and happy with yourself, that you did it, because YOU took control. :-)
Yeah, however it turns out, the point is to not let him ruin anything for me.
 
Old 04-17-2019, 01:08 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 8,039,853 times
Reputation: 30753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Good4Nothin View Post
And Mr. Madd thinks I'm not good enough to sing alone, and I would like to prove him wrong. Of course, I might end up proving him right.

Maybe, but you did it for YOU. He isn't pulling your strings anymore. :-)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:20 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top