facing the music

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by Good4Nothin

This is kind of a tangent but -- I went to this open mic 2 weeks ago, was so relieved Mr. Madd wasn't there. I had a nice conversation with the lady who runs the open mic -- her boyfriend died recently, so we had that grief in common.

If Mr. Madd knew that, would he think she's pathetic too??

What he wrote in that email was so horrific. I understand that he was in one of his crazy rages. Over nothing, really nothing. Never told me why he was angry!

OP, I was going to say, that I recall your saying in the past, that he's not always there, when you go to the open mics. So--go. Enjoy.

What a horrible thing for him to say to someone, who's been grieving recently! Take that as a HUGE red flag! Avoid this guy! He's abusive, and has a serious personality disorder. Disengage, stop emailing with him, block, block, block! Then go on with your life.

Best wishes.

[Good4Nothin]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

OP, I was going to say, that I recall your saying in the past, that he's not always there, when you go to the open mics. So--go. Enjoy.

What a horrible thing for him to say to someone, who's been grieving recently! Take that as a HUGE red flag! Avoid this guy! He's abusive, and has a serious personality disorder. Disengage, stop emailing with him, block, block, block! Then go on with your life.

Best wishes.

Yes, you are absolutely right. After I got that email from him, of course I never answered. It was so extreme, so out of control. He has been like that before, but this time he attacked me where I am vulnerable. It showed me how vicious his rage can be.

So far, it seems like he is avoiding some of the events where he knows I will be. But eventually we might end up in the same place. I will try not to worry about that. Right now, I feel so glad to be free of him, and to know I can sing my songs without him.

Mr. Madd hardly ever wanted to learn any of my songs. And he didn't seem to like it if I sang them without him. So that was kind of a trap for me -- I had all these songs and hardly any chance to let anyone hear them.

I spent my whole life being afraid to sing in public, being afraid to let anyone hear my songs. I don't want to be like that any more!

When I saw Mr. Madd tying to undermine my confidence, I knew I had to get away. That was before all this happened.

What an ugly soul a person must have, to want to prevent someone from being happy and confident.

And of course I try to think of anything I could have done to cause him to hate me so much. I really was making a sincere effort to not to do anything that could possibly enrage him. Definitely walking on eggshells. I had known him for a couple of years, so I had learned a lot of the things I was not allowed to do or say. But he still found a way to get angry.

[Good4Nothin]

And last night was really a big deal for me, since I did really ok, better than ok, without him. I guess I stuck with him all this time because I thought I wasn't good enough alone.

Someone asked me last night why I wasn't playing with Mr. Madd, and I said because he doesn't like my songs, they aren't happy enough. That seemed to answer the question.