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Who says we need to DO anything about our emotions? Joy, amusement, pride, empathy, satisfaction, love...am I supposed to DO something to stop them or change them? Why do I need to "address the causes"?
Or are you just talking about anger or depression? Is that what you mean by "feelings"?
Kids' TV shows (except "Mr. Roger's"), my old elementary school, therapists, etc. All in the good old USA.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
Discussing ways to change the situation is part of therapy. It's included in "talking about feelings."
Well, my therapists never taught me anything I didn't already know or could find in a cheap book, including how to change a situation. I did learn to tell people what they want to hear, rather than honest answers. I had to do that to get the therapists to actually believe me.
Who says we need to DO anything about our emotions? Joy, amusement, pride, empathy, satisfaction, love...am I supposed to DO something to stop them or change them? Why do I need to "address the causes"?
Or are you just talking about anger or depression? Is that what you mean by "feelings"?
In that case, mention it and be done with it. If it's a good emotion, brainstorm ways to maintain it.
Well, my therapists never taught me anything I didn't already know or could find in a cheap book, including how to change a situation. I did learn to tell people what they want to hear, rather than honest answers. I had to do that to get the therapists to actually believe me.
We know. You had a bad experience with therapy, which you have used to badmouth therapy in general ad nauseum here and make yourself feel superior.
Don't you get tired of posting the same old thing here? I bet it makes you angry. You should talk about it with someone you trust.
When people are taught to only name and/or express emotions, without actually doing anything about them, that's when I fail to see the benefits of it. It's far better to identify a feeling and figure out what to do about it.
And in the school shooting scenario, what good will talking about angry emotions do? It's just words. Isn't it better to brainstorm a way to change the situation, so there wouldn't be needless anger, rather than just talk about "feelings"?
The idea is, you talk about your frustrations before they build up to explosive proportions, so that you can get support, maybe get some counseling to figure out how to solve the problem that's causing you the frustration. Learning to name how you feel, is a first step for a small child. Then you can tell an adult how you feel, and hopefully get help, or get comfort, and acquire problem-solving skills.
The other component in teaching to express feelings, is that the people around you need to develop empathy, so they can respond to your distress, or whatever it is. Learning to name feelings and express how you feel is just one part of a bigger picture.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 04-24-2019 at 09:40 PM..
Well, my therapists never taught me anything I didn't already know or could find in a cheap book, including how to change a situation. I did learn to tell people what they want to hear, rather than honest answers. I had to do that to get the therapists to actually believe me.
Sounds like you need a therapist, to help you process your frustration and rage over your prior therapist experiences.
So, let's see ... I remember you expressing some feeeeelings when friends blew off your birthday party. I remember some feeeeelings about those old friends that you consider to be whipped dogs chained to their wives because they can't have fun with you anymore. I remember some feeeeelings you had about some guy that got in your face and your friends didn't stand up for you.
You know why I remember them? Because you bring up those same scenarios over and over and over again as you continually try to convince yourself (and anybody else that looks like they might be a potential recruit to your philosophy) that you've got it all under control now.
But, I can't see that you've successfully brainstormed "a way to change the situation" so you can quickly dispense with those pesky feelings.
All the salsa dancing and board game nights in the world may have given you a way to cope – but they aren't fixing what's ailing you.
So you want to talk about whether is worth it to talk about things?
I was never taught about emotions in school, and my husband and I do not spend much time discussing them, and no counselor I have been to has ever asked me "how did that make you feel?"
One should be able to identify their emotional state, know how to deal with it constructively, and be able to convey the necessary parts to others when necessary.
Everyone is different, and will connect and find value in different counselors, you have to interview them to find one that you can relate to. There is no "one size fits all".
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Last edited by Mikala43; 04-24-2019 at 10:30 PM..
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