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But they can demand all they want , doesn't mean a thing, most are just shopping without any money so to speak, dreaming in other words, well the demanding types anyway..
But they can demand all they want , doesn't mean a thing, most are just shopping without any money so to speak, dreaming in other words, well the demanding types anyway..
Oh believe me, I know full well that I should steer clear of those broads and that they are completely empty outside of that instagram illumination. If I don't feel any sexual attraction though I might as well hang with my friends. So I am willing to take the bad with the good...
There are girls who are attractive, smart and interesting personalities, but I might as well buy a lottery ticket
It's better to have no relationship and learn to accept that than to try and make one work just for its own sake or to keep up appearances.
I have heard from several people over the years, friends who tell me life was just perfect until they got hitched up with "her."
And now they are stuck, she will ruin them if they try and leave... "Man, it was the biggest mistake of my life...!"
At your age, women seem to still be in the "bad boy" phase, they want some arrogant, offensive slop, a "nice guy" doesn't have a chance.
But then, years later, after he dumps them, then they are ready to settle down with the nice guy so he can support them.
As others have said, you are still young, it's not like the old days where he gets a job for $100 a week and marries his school sweetheart at age 21.
But, if you find that you do have to live that lonely life, realize that for many married people it is just about the same level of hell... AND LONELINESS! Maybe even worse, for once you are with someone you no longer like, your options for getting someone else are next to nothing.
My father married a woman and divorces her and married her again and divorced her again, this was before my mother, who he married for three years and that ended in divorce.
I know society is geared toward the nuclear family, but you don't have to live your life to please anyone else, and there are advantages and disadvantages to both sides of most things.
Thx
Hi, I want to quickly tell the OP about myself, but I am using your post as it very much describes me.
I was very shy in college and only had a few random dates and nothing beyond that (being in a college that had twice as many men as women didn't help either). After college, I joined something related to a hobby of mine where I met a woman who seemed to have a lot in common with me, but we both had similar shyness/emotional problems. As such we went on and off from friends to dating and back for a few years before it really just kind of grew into a serious relationship and then we got married a year after that. She had a lot of mental/emotional problems I thought she would just "grow out of" (we were about 30 when we got married so being too immature to get hitched probably wasn't the issue), but it didn't. We have 2 kids, now that they are basically grown we are probably getting divorced in the next few months (our marriage has been very "dead" for a few years, at least I have felt that way, but in various ways I wasn't in a position to raise my kids alone and without going into details it would've bad for them to mostly be with her).
I have felt very "lonely" for years and longed for someone. It is probably a bit more difficult for me now (I am around 50) than if I was looking 10 or 15 years ago. I have been at a new job for 2 years now, last year I started to become very friendly with a woman who works in my area when she got moved to my section of the office about a year ago. She too has a similar situation to me and is also on the verge of divorce (no kids in her case). In terms of emotional support, I would say we are "dating" and even have a "relationship" of sorts but we haven't really turned it into a true romantic relationship yet, not even a secret one. There are various reasons, one is waiting until we truly end our own past ties, the other is (fortunately as I would be happy for her but unfortunate for us) she has a chance in the next few months of getting a promotion where our work relation would be such that (at least an open) romantic relationship could be a problem.
The point I am making is "be yourself" without being too inward and withdrawn and you may be surprised what suddenly happens. When I first met this person above a year ago I never imagined it would play out the way it has and I am happy it has. Good luck!
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 14 days ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Supernova89
I don't have any attraction to those that desire me, not even sexually. The ones I do seek have been either taken or snubbed me.
There's the problem, Supernova. At 30, you still haven't realized this principle of relationships.
Everyone would prefer someone out of their league, but we grasp reality and form relationships with people we care about and enjoy being with.
You're reaching out of your league, and looking past those who desire you, wanting instead those who have "better options", whatever that might entail.
So it's your decision. You can choose to be lonely, or you can choose among the women who are expressing interest in you.
And no one can make that choice except you. Both options have plusses and minuses.
It's not over until you're old and die. Keep trying. Change tactics. Make self improvement. Reflect what's
going wrong. Change circle of friends & make new ones, try different activities, visit different places, join interest groups...
You need to stop concentrating on getting a girlfriend and instead concentrate on establishing friendships and perhaps a group of friends. If you can't do that, you're not going to find a girlfriend. You need to live a full life where you have relationships with other people and can do social things. Humans are social animals and even introverts need to have friends and go out occasionally. If it's not working for you through engaging in activities you find fun (you mentioned chess and martial arts) see a therapist who may be able to help you.
There's the problem, Supernova. At 30, you still haven't realized this principle of relationships.
Everyone would prefer someone out of their league, but we grasp reality and form relationships with people we care about and enjoy being with.
You're reaching out of your league, and looking past those who desire you, wanting instead those who have "better options", whatever that might entail.
So it's your decision. You can choose to be lonely, or you can choose among the women who are expressing interest in you.
And no one can make that choice except you. Both options have plusses and minuses.
I see no plusses being with someone I don't want in exchange for sex or companionship in general. That would be immoral in my book.
Last edited by Supernova89; 06-16-2019 at 09:43 AM..
It's not immoral. It's only unfair if you are not upfront about only wanting sex.
Mate, are you hung up on a past relationship that didn't work or a mistake that you have done?
I have not found any success with those either, and the ones I dissed did not fall under that category. It was more of a friendzone vibe. I could not imagine them sexually with me.
Mate, are you hung up on a past relationship that didn't work or a mistake that you have done?
No. I have gotten older. Grew apart from childhood friends, unable to form new ones. No social life. Hit rock bottom with online dating. I see no way out of it. I have tried different paths to at least etablish some sort of social connections.
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