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I have to let this out of my chest. Some days it still think what he did was selfish and cowardly. He was (he's dead now) known as a serious and strict father to my two cousins. He served in the military too. He never was an affectionate person and never seem the emotional type to break down. Though he always help others in need and his way of showing love was through actions.
2016: My two cousins (a 16 year-old girl and 11 year-old boy) got ran over by a van, both dying instantly. My aunt and all others were understandably unconsolable. My uncle just had his head down (no tears though) and kept trying to comfort his wife (my aunt).
In the following year to our shock and total disbelief my uncle secretly grabbed one of his guns, walked towards the field and pulled the trigger. He left a note apologizing to god, to my grandparents (his parents), my aunt and all of us for his failure and must now end it all. I love you all (the very first time he used those words) were the last written words, along with his signature.
He still had us: my grandparents, my aunt, his closest friends and others. We never saw this coming and he didn't seem the type to break down, much less commit suicide.
Was his act still selfish though? Is there ever a good reason to take your own life? He still left my grandparents devastated.
No, it wasn't cowardice. He was just full of pain and couldn't bear it any longer.
Understandable but that's what there are counselors, therapists and psychologists for. He could have sought help. We would have also been there to support, help him.
Understandable but that's what there are counselors, therapists and psychologists for. He could have sought help. We would have also been there to support, help him.
When we talk about "toxic masculinity" it often refers to the kind of men who feel like having emotions other than anger or asking for help is weakness. From the little you've said about him, he sounds like the kind of man who bottled up his despair to the point that he believed that everyone was better off without him. That's not cowardice, that's tragedy.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I had a good friend who took his own life earlier this month. He had suffered with depression and made an previous attempt a few years ago. We never truly know what someone mind is battling with. All we know it is a 24/7 battle fought without help in most cases. Therapy and friends can only help so much and they cannot get inside our heads and fight the battle with us.
This may not be popular but I don’t think suicide is a selfish act at all. Yes the pain transfers but the person who commits the act has been battling the demons 24/7 for Lord knows how many years. A person who takes their life is looking for mercy and tragically they arrive at the conclusion that the only merciful way out is death. Your Uncle was not a coward, he in his view just couldn’t fight anymore
I had a good friend who took his own life earlier this month. He had suffered with depression and made an previous attempt a few years ago. We never truly know what someone mind is battling with. All we know it is a 24/7 battle fought without help in most cases. Therapy and friends can only help so much and they cannot get inside our heads and fight the battle with us.
Sorry to hear about your friend.
I think the reason I'm going a bit harsh is because I've never understood the point of not wanting to live anymore, taking your most precious thing away...your life. I've gotten stressed out, sad, depressed but never got to that point of pulling the trigger.
I've been lurking around for a while so I'm not exactly new. Though I'm not used to writting about it.
Ok sorry I’m cynical lol. I personally feel suicide is in general a selfish act, but people in deep depression really can’t see beyond it other people. I was just watching biography of Gloria Vanderbilt on CNN last night (she’s Anderson Coopers mom, was a very famous socialite and fashion designer). Her 23 year old son jumped out of their 14th floor apartment window while she was on her knees begging him not to. How can that really be anything but selfish, knowing what kind of pain you’re leaving behind?
On the other hand, I would feel differently if the person had a physical disease and was suffering physical pain. So really who am I to judge if mental pain is any less severe? I don’t know, it’s complicated. Why is it important for you to label him and categorize his deed as selfish or not?
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