Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Does it matter? What is to be gained from calling a person selfish?
Thank you!! He's gone now, and it seems pretty obvious that he was enduring excruciating pain that unless one has tried to commit suicide then they'd not really understand the feeling. It's best to remember him for the good. He did what he felt was best in his situation it's only right to respect it.
I think the reason I'm going a bit harsh is because I've never understood the point of not wanting to live anymore, taking your most precious thing away...your life. I've gotten stressed out, sad, depressed but never got to that point of pulling the trigger.
This is anything should make you the last person to pass judgement on his suicide. I 100% understand the way you're thinking about it I used to think the same way, but eventually you realize that you're the one being selfish by telling someone to endure a life that continuously brings them misery.
2016: My two cousins (a 16 year-old girl and 11 year-old boy) got ran over by a van, both dying instantly. My aunt and all others were understandably unconsolable. My uncle just had his head down (no tears though) and kept trying to comfort his wife (my aunt).
I can understand this but that doesn’t mean your feelings are wrong or invalid. I still love those I knew who did this due to clinical depression versus situational depression. I love them but they were selfish; my feelings aren’t less valid than theirs.
I will always remember this one bright, hot & sunny morning in July, 1994. I calmly opened the blinds on the back sliding glass door, stepped out, through the wooden gate & walked to the river bank that ran behind my apartment building. It was a Saturday morning; people in the parking lot, on their porches, kids playing on the lawn ... but I didn’t look up, didn’t wave, just looked straight ahead & kept walking ... With a loaded 357 in my hand. Down the river about a quarter of a mile, just before the cliffs, I walked down towards the water to where the grass was long & sat down. With my forearms on my knees, I leaned forward & rested my head on the barrel of the gun & closed my eyes.
There had been that moment two weeks before, right after the firemen pulled my daughter from my arms, when the complex manager held my face in her hands & tried to make me look in her eyes & she kept saying; “This happened to me too, you are going to make it, you can do this ...” I heard the sound of fabric ripping & everything started to fade away.
Then two days later came the ladies. I heard “medically fragile twin ... needs a lot” “Mom is beside herself” “There are grandparents, let us help you sweetie, I can’t imagine what you are going through”. It’s just for a few days”. “Totally routine, required in Colorado ...” When I looked up. They were gone. Just like that, they were all gone. Five little boys, split between grandparents & a little girl in her grave. If you would have told me I had them to live for I would have answered that they were better off without me. But I would have been wrong.
So I understand your uncle but I understand your aunt more. Don’t ask anyone here for permission to be mad at him. Nobody has the right to dictate how you grieve & you can be mad at someone & love them at the same time.
I used to think the same way, but eventually you realize that you're the one being selfish by telling someone to endure a life that continuously brings them misery.
Well what’s the alternate statement telling them? Knowing my luck, someone would think I was saying it was fine by me if they dipped out.
Heck, I’m ASD ... what if I’m the one in a moment of despair who thinks that’s what’s being said?
Maybe I’ve got it all wrong right now ... who knows ... Meh, no. Don’t like that.
I think the reason I'm going a bit harsh is because I've never understood the point of not wanting to live anymore, taking your most precious thing away...your life. I've gotten stressed out, sad, depressed but never got to that point of pulling the trigger.
I feel like I see both sides in this discussion.
My ex husband had a cousin who killed herself...and at the time, to me, it seemed so selfish. She left behind a mother, and 2 kids who were teenagers at the time.
A few years later, another cousin killed himself. Left behind a sister and his parents. Of course, they were devastated. Both of those incidents seemed selfish to me.
BUT
When I was going through separation and divorce from my first husband...I wanted to die. I didn't pull a trigger, didn't take pills...because I didn't want to lay that on my kids and family...but I took dangerous chances hoping that maybe it would kill me. I was like that for a few months.
And I recall when I was dating a divorced pastor, him telling me how he came so close to suicide...but decided to see a therapist instead. See, his wife left him for another man in the church and wanted a divorce. Consequently, he was let go as pastor of that church. Within a month of that, his father died. When the divorce was final, he wasn't able to see his kids as much, and he had a hard time finding another church to pastor because of his divorced status. He eventually found another church...but had to move relatively far away...reducing the ability to see his kids even more.
He wanted to die. He said the psychic pain was nearly more than he could stand. And when you get to that point, you can't really think straight, and the chemicals swirling around in your head makes nearly impossible to see a way out of this hopeless fog you're in. And it hurts, and it hurts all the time.
It gave me a better understanding, and more empathy. It CAN be too much. I'm sorry your uncle got to that point. I'm sorry for the pain you're all living with. Truly.
I've known several people who have committed suicide. I think they just were overwhelmed and saw nothing to live for going forward. I wouldn't call it cowardly. I think it takes guts to kill yourself. They just had enough of life, maybe panicked, saw no way out, though there was for them. I think there were plenty of good things left for them, they just didn't see them.
I think the reason I'm going a bit harsh is because I've never understood the point of not wanting to live anymore, taking your most precious thing away...your life. I've gotten stressed out, sad, depressed but never got to that point of pulling the trigger.
Have you lost two children to a horrible tragedy? Stressed, sad or depressed isn't even close to the anguish of losing not only one, but two children. He was in horrible emotional pain. Be thankful you've never felt that sort of thing and stop judging this poor man.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
