Grown adult man acting like a child (introvert, men, dating)
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Hi! I'm new in this forum I joined because I want to know what people think about this cause in my opinion it's so extremely weird and I cant fully comprehend what's going on... I saw an old thread from 2012 but the situation is kinda different here.
I have a "friend" who's a full grown 32 years old man. He finished high school but didnt go to college. He lives with his parents and LOVES toys, we're not talking about you know collectibles that an adult might like we're taking full Disney, princess TOYS. Not cars or "boys toys".. DOLLS. And not only he likes them but he plays with them, he created a full instagram where he takes pictures of Barbie kissing his new Ken doll with comments like: barbie and Ken love each other so much, ken thinks barbie is wearing a beautiful dress today... *braids barbie's hair* .. ken says he loves barbie new hairstyle...
And stuff like that!
He loves carly jepsen the singer and uploads pictures of her saying he needs to go back to school to flirt with all the girls like carly, and how he wishes his parents would allow him to go back to school.
He says hes been trying to look for adult church classes where he can meet girls and flirt, cause he wants to get married and have kids. But he never leaves his house he says how afraid he is to go out and people finding out he likes dolls.
Tell me how is this "normal"? Like, he understands this is not normal behavior and what a 30 year old man should be doing.. hes not stupid hes not retarded he knows! But he still he stays at home all day watching tv with his parents and buying dolls on amazon and target... dont you guys think that's insane???
Hi! I'm new in this forum I joined because I want to know what people think about this cause in my opinion it's so extremely weird and I cant fully comprehend what's going on... I saw an old thread from 2012 but the situation is kinda different here.
I have a "friend" who's a full grown 32 years old man. He finished high school but didnt go to college. He lives with his parents and LOVES toys, we're not talking about you know collectibles that an adult might like we're taking full Disney, princess TOYS. Not cars or "boys toys".. DOLLS. And not only he likes them but he plays with them, he created a full instagram where he takes pictures of Barbie kissing his new Ken doll with comments like: barbie and Ken love each other so much, ken thinks barbie is wearing a beautiful dress today... *braids barbie's hair* .. ken says he loves barbie new hairstyle...
And stuff like that!
He loves carly jepsen the singer and uploads pictures of her saying he needs to go back to school to flirt with all the girls like carly, and how he wishes his parents would allow him to go back to school.
He says hes been trying to look for adult church classes where he can meet girls and flirt, cause he wants to get married and have kids. But he never leaves his house he says how afraid he is to go out and people finding out he likes dolls.
Tell me how is this "normal"? Like, he understands this is not normal behavior and what a 30 year old man should be doing.. hes not stupid hes not retarded he knows! But he still he stays at home all day watching tv with his parents and buying dolls on amazon and target... dont you guys think that's insane???
Well, it's definitely some kind of emotional developmental delay. Sad.
I have a friend who's son lives at home with her. He doesn't play with toys, but he and his mother do everything together. I don't believe he ever goes to do things on his own and doesn't appear to have any friends outside his mother. I find it very odd that he is about 40 and does not have a life separate from his mother, have friends, a gf, etc.
Definitely not normal. Insane? Maybe it pushes far enough to qualify. I've seen similar on those TV shows. I remember one where a grown man liked to pretend he was a baby. Others where grown adults live with their parents and don't go out. I'm not sure there are specific diagnosis for these types of behavior but there's definitely some social retardation.
Tell me how is this "normal"? Like, he understands this is not normal behavior and what a 30 year old man should be doing.. hes not stupid hes not retarded he knows!
No one would say that's socially normal, but if that man works and as you said, isn't stupid, then who really cares what he does in his spare time? If he would play video games after work, no one would say anything - but dolls in hands of an adult man raises all kind of suspicious thoughts.
There are men who live at home and don't have GF. They might be shy, or have low self-esteem, or are introverts. Not everyone is a social butterfly. He obviously feels satisfied with his living situation.
Playing with dolls might relax him after work or bring back happy childhood memories.
Dolls aren't only for girls, and those dolls might have a different meaning to him.
As long he isn't taking them to work and talking to them, or cooking imaginary food and feeding them, or walking in public holding them and pretending they are alive, there isn't really anything wrong. Not different than playing video games, or with toy cars, having a collection of stuffed bears etc... and probably much better than drinking, using drugs and watching porn all day.
For a person like that, if he can't choose to go out on his own- honestly, I wouldn't want him to be dating other people. Not everyone should have a significant other.
If he's looking for a hookup and the other person is also okay with it and their interests and behaviors complement each other, I could see that maybe. At this point, that's his problem. Nothing you can do. Focus on making yourself happier. You can still keep him as a friend, but as the saying goes, you can take a horse to water, but it doesn't mean they'll drink it.
I don't see anything wrong with collecting dolls in and of itself. Playing with them like a child would does seem like there's emotional stunting going on.
What he is doing, is weird and it's not gonna fly among the normal population. As I see it, he's got a few choices available to him.
1. Status quo. Stay home, don't try to date people. (How do his parents feel about this?)
2. Accept that he will need to leave his child-life behind to live as an adult. Get rid of the toys, or box them up and put them into storage until one day he's got children. He could give the toys to his own kids. Frankly, when my sons were little, I think there were things I bought them that I played with more than they did. The "Imaginext" castle sets in particular, I love building stuff, and I spent a ton of money buying more and more sets to build castles that would fill the whole room. The boys would then play with them a while, then eventually they were broken down and put away until next time. I know several adult men who are bananas over LEGO in a similar way, their kids (if they have any) just give them an excuse.
3. Embrace this as a kink, join a BDSM community, and identify as a "Little." Find a "Mommy" woman who will allow him to indulge this side of his personality. Though in all honesty...I don't know how one reconciles this kind of thing with becoming a parent. If you were wealthy enough you could have a locked playroom I guess. It isn't like some kinks where the paraphernalia can be just enough to fill a drawer in the nightstand or something. The one reason that I suggest this, is that I can't see a normal woman accepting this kind of deviance. In the kink community he might find a woman who will, though. We've all seen some pretty weird stuff. At least he won't be judged and socially rejected completely for it.
I really recommend #2 or #3. He needs to either be normal to fit with the normals, or if he insists on being weird, go to where the weirdos are. But he really does need to understand that what he's doing is NOT normal. And normal women aren't going to be OK with it.
What he is doing, is weird and it's not gonna fly among the normal population. As I see it, he's got a few choices available to him.
1. Status quo. Stay home, don't try to date people. (How do his parents feel about this?)
2. Accept that he will need to leave his child-life behind to live as an adult. Get rid of the toys, or box them up and put them into storage until one day he's got children. He could give the toys to his own kids. Frankly, when my sons were little, I think there were things I bought them that I played with more than they did. The "Imaginext" castle sets in particular, I love building stuff, and I spent a ton of money buying more and more sets to build castles that would fill the whole room. The boys would then play with them a while, then eventually they were broken down and put away until next time. I know several adult men who are bananas over LEGO in a similar way, their kids (if they have any) just give them an excuse.
3. Embrace this as a kink, join a BDSM community, and identify as a "Little." Find a "Mommy" woman who will allow him to indulge this side of his personality. Though in all honesty...I don't know how one reconciles this kind of thing with becoming a parent. If you were wealthy enough you could have a locked playroom I guess. It isn't like some kinks where the paraphernalia can be just enough to fill a drawer in the nightstand or something. The one reason that I suggest this, is that I can't see a normal woman accepting this kind of deviance. In the kink community he might find a woman who will, though. We've all seen some pretty weird stuff. At least he won't be judged and socially rejected completely for it.
I really recommend #2 or #3. He needs to either be normal to fit with the normals, or if he insists on being weird, go to where the weirdos are. But he really does need to understand that what he's doing is NOT normal. And normal women aren't going to be OK with it.
I have to admit that, even though this is in the Psychology forum, I thought this thread might = quips about Trump.
For years to come, when I hear the bolded, I'll probably think about Vice President Pence referring to his wife as Mother.
I dated a radio host in my late 20's when i was newly divorced.(basically I had poor judgment).
Out in public folks were charmed by him. He really did play up his radio persona. Finally one night we head back to his place. Into his bedroom...where life size Disney prince and princesses were placed around the room. I figured maybe he was storing them for some event he was going to host for the community. Nope! He said it's his "little" vice. He likes to think he is among Royalty. The Disney kind?? . I lost the mood that instant. He really did have a transformation in persona when he spoke of his collection. It was creepy.
The dude was delusional on that habit.
So that behavior is not for some of us ...just something to think about when you talk to this "friend" of yours.
And yes I'll say it...he may need counseling to differentiate and come to terms with this play toys being his pacifer.
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I have to admit that, even though this is in the Psychology forum, I thought this thread might = quips about Trump.
