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I'm an older Millennial woman (36), and my handsome husband is younger Gen X (43).
The hardest thing for me to understand about the younger generation (Z) is the absolutely meteoric rise of asexuality and virginity, and their complete lack of knowledge/understanding toward people who value looks and attraction.
I was recently on a forum for Animal Crossing video game players (very high percentage of women under 30; according to the largest poll results, about 75-85% of the people there are women under the age of 30), and of over 60 poll participants, I was literally the only one who valued attraction in a mate. The rest of them repeated the stereotype I always heard growing up that drove me nuts: "I don't care about looks, just personality."
However, instead of trying to fight against this stereotype, as a small percentage of red-blooded women of my generation would have (especially those of us who had to endure the stereotypes in conservative Christian culture that women are asexual by nature) -- they actually whole-heartedly embraced it.
Only one woman there defended me and understood where I was coming from; the rest excluded me and found me foreign or weird in my thinking. They couldn't understand why male attractiveness could be such an important factor to me.
It doesn't surprise me that, with the immense number of these asexual women under 30, there's been a rise in male virginity in the same demographic:
What psychological, biological, sociological etc. factors have led to this massive generational shift?
My own guess is that all of the following have contributed:
1) extreme feminism and extreme conservatism (they seem polar opposites, but both devalue sex and end up promoting virginity as a natural result)
2) rise of obesity (people are less attractive, and there are more of them, so attractiveness becomes less of a thing)
3) use of plastics (much data seems to support plastic overuse greatly affects fertility, sex hormones, etc.)
4) gloom and doom reports (the fears of overpopulation, climate change, End Times prophecies -- people are afraid to be sexual in these times and thus possibly produce children)
5) men are afraid because of MeToo; these women have such powerful political voices now that they overwhelm both the younger men, and the older women like me who actually like/enjoy sex and attraction
Anything else I'm missing?
To your list I'd add:
6.Free and abundant availability of porn. It's addictive and it can actually cause erectile dysfunction in men. Too much stimulation on demand is a bad thing.
7. Life-like sex dolls. I know someone who got one and they go on and on and on about it like it's a real person (OMG, yes I find that weird and creepy). It's related to both feminism and porn. It's related to feminism because men don't feel relationships, and especially marriage, are worth the effort if they are going to get taken to court, have their kids and half their assets taken from them. They are also afraid of false accusations a la the 'me too' movement. Whether these perceptions are true or not is irrelevant. A seemingly increasing number of men feel this way. Sex dolls, like porn, offer stimulation on demand. They're so life-like now that it simulates a sexual relationship well enough without having to do any of the work.
6.Free and abundant availability of porn. It's addictive and it can actually cause erectile dysfunction in men. Too much stimulation on demand is a bad thing.
7. Life-like sex dolls. I know someone who got one and they go on and on and on about it like it's a real person (OMG, yes I find that weird and creepy). It's related to both feminism and porn. It's related to feminism because men don't feel relationships, and especially marriage, are worth the effort if they are going to get taken to court, have their kids and half their assets taken from them. They are also afraid of false accusations a la the 'me too' movement. Whether these perceptions are true or not is irrelevant. A seemingly increasing number of men feel this way. Sex dolls, like porn, offer stimulation on demand. They're so life-like now that it simulates a sexual relationship well enough without having to do any of the work.
Agree with #6. I do think porn has a number of benefits, and I've even seen it help certain people increase their sex drives (by "training" them on certain stimuli), but a broad effect is making real, in-person sex seem less novel and interesting.
About #7, it could just be that I'm not in the right subcultures but I really don't think sex dolls are or are going to catch on among most of the population (although I don't have a moral problem with them).
A couple factors I would add to the OP's list are:
7. Less in-person socializing. The internet and social media have made it much easier to find like-minded tribes who are of a similar cultural background to you, probably have similar personality traits, and are mostly of your gender. This removes a lot of the awkwardness of physical social venues (from after-school activities to bars and concerts), which is very appealing, but those spaces are where courtship tends to happen.
8. The breakdown of "rites of adulthood". Partially for economic reasons, Gen Z isn't as concerned about getting your first job, your first car, or moving out of your parents' house by a certain age. But there's also a broader cultural shift going on (which is maybe influenced by the aforementioned shifts) --- it's pretty normal now for adults to still watch kids' movies or cartoons and not feel embarrassed about it. "Adulting" is a tongue-in-cheek accomplishment, a nod to the standards of an earlier era, and not something everyone's really expected to do all the time. I think a diminished emphasis on having sex while you're young, just to do it or because people will judge you otherwise, goes along with all of this.
It's possible that's the group the OP most identifies with so it's completely representative...of her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144
That's fine, but OP didn't say "gamers," she said "Generation Z" as a whole.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Khendra
I'm an older Millennial woman (36), and my handsome husband is younger Gen X (43).
The hardest thing for me to understand about the younger generation (Z) is the absolutely meteoric rise of asexuality and virginity, and their complete lack of knowledge/understanding toward people who value looks and attraction.
I was recently on a forum for Animal Crossing video game players (very high percentage of women under 30; according to the largest poll results, about 75-85% of the people there are women under the age of 30), and of over 60 poll participants, I was literally the only one who valued attraction in a mate. The rest of them repeated the stereotype I always heard growing up that drove me nuts: "I don't care about looks, just personality."
....
Anything else I'm missing?
Well, read a bit more closely if you're a Khendra-sympathizer because she cited a forum she was on - perhaps she was just a "lurker" and not a gamer...? She's attempting to characterize all Gen Z's based on a much smaller and likely unrepresentative sample.
Maybe if she'd come back she could explain a bit better?
1.) Women have access to all the casual sex they want with the swipe of a finger on their cellphone. Most ladies can focus on education, careers and have their needs met with one or two quality "f" buddies. That puts less pressure on women to jump into relationships that aren't fulfilling.
2.) MeToo has made it harder for men to feel comfortable approaching women in public. A conventionally attractive man with above-average height can get away with all sorts of things that a short or less attractive man can't unless he has a legendary mouthpiece.
3.) Less in-person approaches pushes people towards online dating. Searching online tends to put men at a significant disadvantage just because of the skewed gender ratio.
I don't think Gen Z is aesexual but I do think they're more willing to push the boundaries compared to Millenials and Gen X. Millenial women freak out if a creepy ("ugly") guy approaches them with confidence but swoon when a hot guy does the exact same thing. Nothing inherently wrong with that.......but I think Gen Z realizes that a creep can be the hottest guy in the room. What they find "hot" seems to be harder to define and maybe a little different than what women in the recent past defined as "hot."
Give me a break. I'm 41. I've been with my husband (51) for 22 years now. He was not someone most women would look at and think of as "hot," but I was after his mind, not his looks. Do I still look at guys who I consider "hot?" Yep. But I love my husband, balding, overweight and all because of who he is inside, as was the case when we first met.
Just because you're stuck on looks doesn't mean everyone else that came before you is as equally as vapid.
2. Asexuality means a lack of or no sexual attraction towards anyone of either gender. It's not medical disorder nor is it a mental disorder. It's simply how some people are wired and there is nothing wrong with that.
.
I have to agree on this, as I have a younger cousin (I'll call her Stacey) who might be considered asexual. Stacey is in her early 30s, and as far as I know, she's never been on a date, had any sort of relationship, or even mentioned a crush on anyone. The last I had heard, Stacey wasn't interested in getting married to anyone, or having a family, and she seems happy that way.
When I was growing up, it was just this whole common stereotype (that men were totally on board with) that young men wanted to play the field. They wanted to get as much sex as possible. And that women were the ones wanting commitment, and that getting sex without commitment was "scoring" like he is just so tricky and such a skillful player of the game and all.
But since then, not just with younger generations, but with women of all ages, I've seen that "liberation" where those of us who wanted to feel free to engage in sex on our own terms, even be it casual, have been ready to chuck the old school moralizing and do as we please. Of course, many women still prefer to conduct themselves in a more traditional way, but it seems that more choices are available, and women are feeling more OK to have casual encounters without stressing about anyone's opinion about it. As I was doing as a teenager, but boy did I ever feel like a total oddball and outlier for that, then. I didn't care. But I didn't really expect my attitude to become common among women of any age, really.
And following on the heels of THAT, I'm seeing something very interesting. Young men, who in theory should have been the players who are happy that women are giving them what they supposedly want, even attractive ones who have no problem getting female attention, are getting all scowly and judgy and wanting "good" women who are not that experienced and who are going to play hard to get and be faithful and so on... It's like, when sex was difficult for a guy to get and he had to "win" it, he felt cool about chasing it around, but now that it's relatively easy, he's mad that we're not making it a challenge anymore and he wants us all to go to church or something?
Like I'm seeing my own sons at 19 and 22, wanting nothing more than serious and invested and committed relationships. And also, the younger the kids start playing with the idea of "bf/gf" (middle school, from observing my sons' generation) the more jealous and possessive they get, especially the boys.
There are some guys who seem to be adapting to the social world they live in better than others, shifting their ideologies and expectations and finding happiness pretty easily. But there are a lot of people who really seem to just be mired in confusion and not happy with anything that they can reasonably get, romantically.
I mean, I don't truly have skin in this game (so to speak) but I find it all interesting to observe.
I'm an older Millennial woman (36), and my handsome husband is younger Gen X (43).
The hardest thing for me to understand about the younger generation (Z) is the absolutely meteoric rise of asexuality and virginity, and their complete lack of knowledge/understanding toward people who value looks and attraction.
I was recently on a forum for Animal Crossing video game players (very high percentage of women under 30; according to the largest poll results, about 75-85% of the people there are women under the age of 30), and of over 60 poll participants, I was literally the only one who valued attraction in a mate. The rest of them repeated the stereotype I always heard growing up that drove me nuts: "I don't care about looks, just personality."
However, instead of trying to fight against this stereotype, as a small percentage of red-blooded women of my generation would have (especially those of us who had to endure the stereotypes in conservative Christian culture that women are asexual by nature) -- they actually whole-heartedly embraced it.
Only one woman there defended me and understood where I was coming from; the rest excluded me and found me foreign or weird in my thinking. They couldn't understand why male attractiveness could be such an important factor to me.
It doesn't surprise me that, with the immense number of these asexual women under 30, there's been a rise in male virginity in the same demographic:
What psychological, biological, sociological etc. factors have led to this massive generational shift?
My own guess is that all of the following have contributed:
1) extreme feminism and extreme conservatism (they seem polar opposites, but both devalue sex and end up promoting virginity as a natural result)
2) rise of obesity (people are less attractive, and there are more of them, so attractiveness becomes less of a thing)
3) use of plastics (much data seems to support plastic overuse greatly affects fertility, sex hormones, etc.)
4) gloom and doom reports (the fears of overpopulation, climate change, End Times prophecies -- people are afraid to be sexual in these times and thus possibly produce children)
5) men are afraid because of MeToo; these women have such powerful political voices now that they overwhelm both the younger men, and the older women like me who actually like/enjoy sex and attraction
Anything else I'm missing?
It’s refreshing to see that not every encounter has to involve sexual overtones, maybe this is something we should attribute as a positive attribute of Gen-Z. Maybe we need to learn genuine affection is a precursor before sexuality is an objective.
I'm an older Millennial woman (36), and my handsome husband is younger Gen X (43).
The hardest thing for me to understand about the younger generation (Z) is the absolutely meteoric rise of asexuality and virginity, and their complete lack of knowledge/understanding toward people who value looks and attraction.
I was recently on a forum for Animal Crossing video game players (very high percentage of women under 30; according to the largest poll results, about 75-85% of the people there are women under the age of 30), and of over 60 poll participants, I was literally the only one who valued attraction in a mate. The rest of them repeated the stereotype I always heard growing up that drove me nuts: "I don't care about looks, just personality."
However, instead of trying to fight against this stereotype, as a small percentage of red-blooded women of my generation would have (especially those of us who had to endure the stereotypes in conservative Christian culture that women are asexual by nature) -- they actually whole-heartedly embraced it.
Only one woman there defended me and understood where I was coming from; the rest excluded me and found me foreign or weird in my thinking. They couldn't understand why male attractiveness could be such an important factor to me.
It doesn't surprise me that, with the immense number of these asexual women under 30, there's been a rise in male virginity in the same demographic:
What psychological, biological, sociological etc. factors have led to this massive generational shift?
My own guess is that all of the following have contributed:
1) extreme feminism and extreme conservatism (they seem polar opposites, but both devalue sex and end up promoting virginity as a natural result)
2) rise of obesity (people are less attractive, and there are more of them, so attractiveness becomes less of a thing)
3) use of plastics (much data seems to support plastic overuse greatly affects fertility, sex hormones, etc.)
4) gloom and doom reports (the fears of overpopulation, climate change, End Times prophecies -- people are afraid to be sexual in these times and thus possibly produce children)
5) men are afraid because of MeToo; these women have such powerful political voices now that they overwhelm both the younger men, and the older women like me who actually like/enjoy sex and attraction
Anything else I'm missing?
Missing? Yeah, probably that people who not only spend hours playing rather juvenile video games but then spend additional hours on forums talking about those video games are not a representative sample of an entire adult generation.
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