Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-09-2021, 07:53 PM
 
2,391 posts, read 1,421,829 times
Reputation: 4216

Advertisements

I think there needs to be a balance between purpose (striving or at least working towards a meaningful goal; risk-taking; challenging relationships) and pleasure (comfort, relaxation, trusting relationships). The optimal balance is probably different for everyone. But there are few people who do well either working constantly or relaxing all the time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-10-2021, 02:13 AM
 
Location: Moku Nui, Hawaii
11,053 posts, read 24,137,702 times
Reputation: 10912
How about just choose to be happy? T'ain't all that difficult. Ya wanna be happy? Smile all the time, it will soak in from the outside in.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-10-2021, 05:18 AM
 
9,952 posts, read 6,744,814 times
Reputation: 19662
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill_Schramm View Post
I think there needs to be a balance between purpose (striving or at least working towards a meaningful goal; risk-taking; challenging relationships) and pleasure (comfort, relaxation, trusting relationships). The optimal balance is probably different for everyone. But there are few people who do well either working constantly or relaxing all the time.
I think this is a good analysis- I’ve heard it as a balance between freedom and responsibility. You need enough freedom to feel you can do what you want. A the same time most people also need enough responsibility to feel like they have a purpose in life, but not so much responsibility that they feel like they have no freedom.

I do think that there are some people who just aren’t wired to be happy. For example, I used to have a friend who was just never satisfied with anything. For a while, he had a great job- it was a leadership role that was not too stressful and interesting, and a fiancée who adored him. However, he decided he was not happy with either of those and wanted something better. Although I asked him many times whether he had considered getting therapy for depression, he just felt that this level of malaise that he seemed to have was absolutely normal.

My job is pretty boring and routine, but people tend to stay for years because it’s super flexible, has good benefits, the pay is decent for what it is, and apparently only forced people to work overtime about once in the past decade. While I don’t really find fulfillment in that job, I have plenty of time to pursue hobbies. Others can focus on doing activities with their children/family.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-10-2021, 06:01 AM
 
Location: Vermont
9,571 posts, read 5,364,684 times
Reputation: 18122
"Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient." This is different for each of us.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-10-2021, 10:18 AM
 
2,690 posts, read 1,630,783 times
Reputation: 9923
When I was happiest I was forward thinking, optimistic, non-judgmental.
When I've been the most unhappiest I was dwelling on the past, cynical, and judgmental.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-10-2021, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Southern MN
12,164 posts, read 8,552,809 times
Reputation: 45188
I once heard a seventh-grade boy define his after unsuccessfully scrambling to sit next to the girl he had a crush on. He turned to the girl next to him and said, "Well, if you can't sit next to the one you love, love the one you sit next to."

She looked less than thrilled.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-10-2021, 10:43 AM
 
Location: state of confusion
2,121 posts, read 3,036,077 times
Reputation: 5552
To be happy you need to be at peace with yourself first.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-10-2021, 11:06 AM
 
218 posts, read 144,807 times
Reputation: 481
I am happiest when there is internal clarity and honesty; when I understand my nature & intentions thoroughly. This allows me to make happier decisions for myself. Confusion causes me to panic and panic makes me drained and miserable. Confusion causes me to become influenceable, and I can be easily influenced to do things that go against my actual interests or nature.

Being timely, orderly and mature about my responsibilities, business, health and needs stifles panic also.

My nature requires a great deal of privacy, secrecy and isolation. I'm a slow learner, scatter-brained, easily excited, easily bored and easily confused so I meditate many times a week to make sure I am on my purpose.

A thoroughly engaging hobby/profession is also required; I am a fidgety sort who gets bored super easily, so I need something to utterly absorb me and eat away many many hours. If i have nothing interesting to do i become bored and anxious and depressed and will turn to the internet or social media for the endless stimulation it provides.

I've taught my self how to find stimulation just from my mind and surroundings; by meditating or just sitting still in one area while doing nothing for long periods of time.

A job that allows me to work by myself and have control over the flow of my time helps a lot.

Not having anxiety helps, but it seems mostly impossible due to my nature...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-10-2021, 11:38 AM
 
Location: US
3,239 posts, read 1,080,154 times
Reputation: 6223
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatdurncat13 View Post
To be happy you need to be at peace with yourself first.
Good point! I agree.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-10-2021, 04:07 PM
 
2,020 posts, read 1,135,803 times
Reputation: 6047
Learn to live in the moment. Enjoy what you are doing. Stop viewing things as chores.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:53 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top