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I think there needs to be a balance between purpose (striving or at least working towards a meaningful goal; risk-taking; challenging relationships) and pleasure (comfort, relaxation, trusting relationships). The optimal balance is probably different for everyone. But there are few people who do well either working constantly or relaxing all the time.
I think there needs to be a balance between purpose (striving or at least working towards a meaningful goal; risk-taking; challenging relationships) and pleasure (comfort, relaxation, trusting relationships). The optimal balance is probably different for everyone. But there are few people who do well either working constantly or relaxing all the time.
I think this is a good analysis- I’ve heard it as a balance between freedom and responsibility. You need enough freedom to feel you can do what you want. A the same time most people also need enough responsibility to feel like they have a purpose in life, but not so much responsibility that they feel like they have no freedom.
My job is pretty boring and routine, but people tend to stay for years because it’s super flexible, has good benefits, the pay is decent for what it is, and apparently only forced people to work overtime about once in the past decade. While I don’t really find fulfillment in that job, I have plenty of time to pursue hobbies. Others can focus on doing activities with their children/family.
When I was happiest I was forward thinking, optimistic, non-judgmental.
When I've been the most unhappiest I was dwelling on the past, cynical, and judgmental.
I once heard a seventh-grade boy define his after unsuccessfully scrambling to sit next to the girl he had a crush on. He turned to the girl next to him and said, "Well, if you can't sit next to the one you love, love the one you sit next to."
I am happiest when there is internal clarity and honesty; when I understand my nature & intentions thoroughly. This allows me to make happier decisions for myself. Confusion causes me to panic and panic makes me drained and miserable. Confusion causes me to become influenceable, and I can be easily influenced to do things that go against my actual interests or nature.
Being timely, orderly and mature about my responsibilities, business, health and needs stifles panic also.
My nature requires a great deal of privacy, secrecy and isolation. I'm a slow learner, scatter-brained, easily excited, easily bored and easily confused so I meditate many times a week to make sure I am on my purpose.
A thoroughly engaging hobby/profession is also required; I am a fidgety sort who gets bored super easily, so I need something to utterly absorb me and eat away many many hours. If i have nothing interesting to do i become bored and anxious and depressed and will turn to the internet or social media for the endless stimulation it provides.
I've taught my self how to find stimulation just from my mind and surroundings; by meditating or just sitting still in one area while doing nothing for long periods of time.
A job that allows me to work by myself and have control over the flow of my time helps a lot.
Not having anxiety helps, but it seems mostly impossible due to my nature...
Learn to live in the moment. Enjoy what you are doing. Stop viewing things as chores.
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