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Happiness is probably one of the most elusive things to understand but also the most important. Even defining "happiness" is not easy. It means something different to every person. Is it contentment? Acceptance? Low stress? Having fun?
Most of us have experienced the reality that "money can't buy you happiness" but why is that the case?
I found this article about happiness, based on some opinions from Dr. Sanjiv Chopra, a professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School.
So here are the four keys to happiness, according to Chopra:
1) Friends and family
“Choose your friends wisely and celebrate everything small and good with them” (But you DON'T choose your family, and that can be a source of misery for many).
2) Forgiveness
“The ability to forgive frees you from the burdens of hate and other unhealthy emotions that can negatively impact your happiness quotient”
3) Giving
"Chopra says that getting involved with charities and donating money to help others is one of the most fulfilling ways to spend your time and money. Researchers have even suggested that people who volunteer experience greater happiness, higher self-esteem and a lower mortality rate."
4) Gratitude
“Taking time to think about what you’re grateful for makes you more aware of the positive things in your life”. As a result, “it makes you less biased by the fewer negative things in your life.”
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I guess I'd have to agree with this list, mostly common sense - but one question you have to ask is whether generally "happy" people have a different brain chemistry or are physiologically different from generally "unhappy" people. Have to believe that is a player too.
Anyway it would interesting to hear thoughts about this, I am sure it's been discussed in this forum before.
I agree that those things are a part of what makes a person happy, or content. I'd add something like "purpose". That may be subsumed under family and friends for a lot of people and it may be an expression of gratitude for others. But some organizing principle you can point to that answers some why questions in your life is worth naming and remembering.
I do believe some people have a brain chemistry that predisposes them to happiness. Some are wired to be somewhat unhappy. Most of us are between those extremes. Our early experiences shape us too. Some people are on the fortunate end of all those spectra, and some are on the unfortunate end. Most are toward the middle and something of a mix of adaptive and less adaptive inherent traits and positive and less positive experiences.
Whatever out traits and experiences may be, making connections with people, serving some purpose, and seeing the good in people and our circumstances will tend to make us happier.
Happiness is probably one of the most elusive things to understand but also the most important. Even defining "happiness" is not easy. It means something different to every person. Is it contentment? Acceptance? Low stress? Having fun?
Most of us have experienced the reality that "money can't buy you happiness" but why is that the case?
I found this article about happiness, based on some opinions from Dr. Sanjiv Chopra, a professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School.
So here are the four keys to happiness, according to Chopra:
1) Friends and family
“Choose your friends wisely and celebrate everything small and good with them” (But you DON'T choose your family, and that can be a source of misery for many).
2) Forgiveness
“The ability to forgive frees you from the burdens of hate and other unhealthy emotions that can negatively impact your happiness quotient”
3) Giving
"Chopra says that getting involved with charities and donating money to help others is one of the most fulfilling ways to spend your time and money. Researchers have even suggested that people who volunteer experience greater happiness, higher self-esteem and a lower mortality rate."
4) Gratitude
“Taking time to think about what you’re grateful for makes you more aware of the positive things in your life”. As a result, “it makes you less biased by the fewer negative things in your life.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess I'd have to agree with this list, mostly common sense - but one question you have to ask is whether generally "happy" people have a different brain chemistry or are physiologically different from generally "unhappy" people. Have to believe that is a player too.
Anyway it would interesting to hear thoughts about this, I am sure it's been discussed in this forum before.
Happiness first has to come from within. A truly happy person is content with their current lifestyle and themselves. Whether it be with family or alone, happiness is also an attitude. We have the ability to withstand negative things in life and learn from them. Loving yourself and loving your life creates a truly happy person.
One that blesses another is truly blessed. Giving, like you said, is key to feeling blessed and serene. Money cannot buy happiness, internal contentment or peace. Sure money can get your bills paid, allows us to live a normal life, but "happiness" in far beyond that and worldly things. If you are happy with your own self, you are truly happy.
Something that helps me is recognizing that I have no power to change the thoughts or behaviors of others nor am I responsible for doing so. Until I reached that understanding I was always struggling with people and principalities.
This frees up my energy to put my own positive ideas and behavior into action. It is humbling and helps me keep my wayward ego right-sized. And it is also freeing. No more fussing about how I force someone else to make things better.
One measurement I always see in the news is the Scandinavian countries. Despite the grim weather, they are polled as the happiest and the reasons given are no stress over our major stressors: paying for college, healthcare, affordable rent, retirement, plenty of vacation time and parental leave, no homeless and all of that.
The other metric I've seen several times is making $75,000 a year. Supposedly that is the threshold of happiness from money, lol.
I do agree that some people are just wired for "happiness". I knew a guy like that and he even said "I'm always happy!" which made me suspicious, but every time I saw him, he sure was jovial and cheerful.
One measurement I always see in the news is the Scandinavian countries. Despite the grim weather, they are polled as the happiest and the reasons given are no stress over our major stressors: paying for college, healthcare, affordable rent, retirement, plenty of vacation time and parental leave, no homeless and all of that.
The other metric I've seen several times is making $75,000 a year. Supposedly that is the threshold of happiness from money, lol.
I do agree that some people are just wired for "happiness". I knew a guy like that and he even said "I'm always happy!" which made me suspicious, but every time I saw him, he sure was jovial and cheerful.
Yeah that was basically meant to say, money buys happiness right up to the point (which exact number varies based on your cost of living of course) where you have a feeling of financial security.
Material excess does not bring people happiness and can even make them less happy, but one does kinda need to have enough to feel safe and not stressed by it.
I think that HOPE is a big part of happiness. The ability to believe, even when external things all kind of suck, that it's worth pushing through a hard time because something better will be ahead. I always had that, and I've lived through some really serious hardships. I always had hope and a kind of fierce and stubborn optimism. It was nearly a spiteful and rebellious kind of thing at times, just because I always felt like there were people in my life who didn't believe in me and I needed to show them. That old saying, "Living well is the best revenge" is me to a T.
It's also, I guess, something like how much weight or bandwidth in your head you give to the happy versus the unhappy stuff. I think of my technically lowest point and despite tons of things that were objectively awful in my life, I had a baby at the time, and he was the age where if you smile at them, they smile back...and I smiled until my face hurt. I loved him so much I felt irrational with it. I was literally starving, dropping weight alarmingly, but I would be happy with and for my child. And I don't even like children! But he was MINE. My mind was fixed on him. He was my one happy thing. And that was all I needed, really.
But I've always been able to fixate on something that makes me happy when the world is falling apart around me. I think it's just one of those coping skills I picked up as a kid, that it's like...maybe there are some pretty messed up roots to this, but if it serves me, it serves me.
Everyone's formula for happiness will vary. Can't say I agree with Chopra, though those are probably the most common. I'd go more with having a good attitude, not letting other's bring me down, enjoying work and leisure, and having good family/company and good surroundings (location). Forgiveness and giving rarely come up as issues.
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