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Someone who spends a lot of time and effort to double or triple the work and time of any task, their own, and everyone else's too. Is it a form of narcissism?
My 2nd wife's SIL was so anal-retentive that she actually had to have surgery to loosen up her anus. I guess it's an actual thing that if you spend much of your life with your bunghole tightly closed, it gets too muscular for your own good.
Why does everyone think everything is "narcissism"?
That's perfectionism -- and it's not a "disorder."
At its worse extreme, perhaps OCD.
It's for the reason I pointed out: perfectionists tend to suffer in silence, not draw attention to themselves or draw other people into their drama.
If it weren't for that, I'd agree with you.
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