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Joe, are you and your sister able to use ride sharing services to meet up in person next time? Not having a car is far from the burden it once was.
Rideshare is difficult for me because it's hard to get a ride out in my rural area during the week. And then going there and back is expensive for both of us more than a few times a year.
That's good if it works for you. For me, it makes me feel even more lonely. At least on Facebook, I am interacting with people.
I'm seeing pics and videos of happy couples and families enjoying the holiday together, which makes me feel worse. They're not "interacting with me"; just showing off in general... But different strokes!
Rideshare is difficult for me because it's hard to get a ride out in my rural area during the week. And then going there and back is expensive for both of us more than a few times a year.
Maybe this is an obvious suggestion, but I know you can book rideshares in advance (Lyft will lock in the price), and perhaps you could plan to visit your sister during a holiday, since you are already amenable to doing this a few times a year, as you said.
Insert game show buzzer....nope. Dating past 50 is seen as desperate and pathetic in the gay male community, so there's little if any incentive there. The inviting part has been difficult with Covid and of course just as people are warming up to socializing there's talk of another variant and social distancing measures once again. I know, it doesn't seem optimistic...
Why is dating past 50 in the gay community considered pathetic? I have a gay friend who’s in his mid-40s and he’s still looking, not giving up. Granted, he’s not had much luck with online apps as he’s met some sketchy guys, from what he’s told me. We commiserate on our shared misery being looked upon as sad singletons, but he at least has support of his family while I’m the only living member of my family. Anyway, I totally get where you’re coming from, there are many people in their 40-50s who are experiencing loneliness, COVID-19 really opened people’s eyes and minds about the epidemic of loneliness.
Many years ago, I made 150 Easter treat bags for homeless people. There were traditional Easter candies in prepackage individual servings. Little bags of jelly beans and chocolate mini eggs, etc. I brought the candies in big bags at Costco. I put a selection of candy into ziplock sandwich bags and tied the top with ribbon.
I dropped them off at a local church which was thrilled to get it!
This year, I sent my twenty-something year old kids Easter baskets in the mail. It made me feel closer to them and less lonely. They loved it. I'm not sure when this will stop. I might go back to the homeless treat bags next year.
Rideshare is difficult for me because it's hard to get a ride out in my rural area during the week. And then going there and back is expensive for both of us more than a few times a year.
We are very rural. A friend of ours remarked the other day that we don't have Uber, we have Goober. I thought that was funny.
Maybe this is an obvious suggestion, but I know you can book rideshares in advance (Lyft will lock in the price), and perhaps you could plan to visit your sister during a holiday, since you are already amenable to doing this a few times a year, as you said.
You know.... we should have thought about that. We both use rideshare, but she does more than me living in the heart of Columbia. I am actually in a rural area outside of Columbia. (People confuse the town I am in with another in North Carolina, so I use Columbia as my location. Maybe I should change it.) We both had birthdays recently. Maybe I will suggest a date together together to celebrate them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by trobesmom
We are very rural. A friend of ours remarked the other day that we don't have Uber, we have Goober. I thought that was funny.
Insert game show buzzer....nope. Dating past 50 is seen as desperate and pathetic in the gay male community, so there's little if any incentive there. The inviting part has been difficult with Covid and of course just as people are warming up to socializing there's talk of another variant and social distancing measures once again. I know, it doesn't seem optimistic...
Dating past 50 is not seen as desperate and pathetic in the gay male community.
You just have had bad experiences. I know many gay people who dont think that way. I for one, don't.
Don't focus on those negative opinions. Whoever thinks that way is bound for failure one way or another.
You said you have supposed friends. how come you call them supposed? Do you meet often outside of holidays? Do you feel like you can express yourself to them?
Maybe it would be nice to go out and meet someone new. And if you feel like that's difficult, I'm sure there are a lot of places where people go with the sole purpose of meeting new people. I remember there was a website called meetup or something.
I think you're a bit low on self-confidence to be perfectly honest. It's been a rough couple of years for everyone, and especially for singles and people who don't have a lot of friends I can understand it's even harder. But cheer up and try to take care of yourself and do things you enjoy. Once you start feeling more relaxed I think it's gonna work out for you.
And you know, sometimes you have to be direct with the things you want. Telling a supposed friend that you like his/her company and saying you'd like to go out more is also fine. Maybe youll get rejected - but hey - maybe you won't! It's that hope that keep us going
Have fun Kyle and good luck!
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