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Today marks yet another holiday spent alone. As an only child with long-deceased parents, and no close relatives since all my cousins were nearly out of college before I hit middle school. I have plenty supposed friends and relatives but find the use of the word supposed valid given I rarely receive invites for holidays and offer whenever possible to host Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for fellow orphans, or those unable to go home due to work or other factors. I've nearly given up on the family warm fuzzies but before waving the white flag making sure its not some shortcoming of my own I'm clueless to...??
Today marks yet another holiday spent alone. As an only child with long-deceased parents, and no close relatives since all my cousins were nearly out of college before I hit middle school. I have plenty supposed friends and relatives but find the use of the word supposed valid given I rarely receive invites for holidays and offer whenever possible to host Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for fellow orphans, or those unable to go home due to work or other factors. I've nearly given up on the family warm fuzzies but before waving the white flag making sure its not some shortcoming of my own I'm clueless to...??
Do you ever offer invitations to any of them? Even if you realize the logistics probably wouldn't work out, the invitation itself implies the desire to stay connected. So, you spent the holiday alone. Did you call anyone and wish them happy whatever? Sometimes you have to make the first move to maintain relationships. OTOH, if you always wait for someone else to take that step...
FWIW, I also spent Easter alone. Nothing new about that. Most of my friends and all of my relatives live at least 1000 miles away. How do I cope? For one thing, my relationships with those who matter to me are sound. Talk about a warm fuzzy; knowing we're in good shape is a great one. Sometimes I call them on holidays, sometimes I send a card, silly message, maybe flowers, a small treat. All those little actions make me feel great!
Last edited by Parnassia; 04-17-2022 at 06:35 PM..
Presuming you're hetero, start dating and find yourself a woman and start your own family. As suggested, why not do some inviting of your own ? Keep trying and stay positive!
Why does it have to be relatives? If friends aren’t coming over to your house, why not join a meet up group and find people who like your hobbies, hiking, travel, stamp collecting, whatever it is and bond that way. If there is no significant other, maybe a dating site if that interests you. Adopting a dog and taking the dog to the dog park is a good way to meet people.
If you rarely receive invites, are you an appreciative guest, do you bring a bottle of wine or flowers and thank the host for a great time? Arguing over politics or sitting alone in the corner probably won’t get you invited back. At most every gathering I’ve been to, there are lots of hugs and warm fuzzies at the end of the evening. The host wants to know you enjoyed yourself and their effort was appreciated. Take a few minutes to chat before heading to your car, people notice things like this.
Do you ever offer invitations to any of them? Even if you realize the logistics probably wouldn't work out, the invitation itself implies the desire to stay connected. So, you spent the holiday alone. Did you call anyone and wish them happy whatever? Sometimes you have to make the first move to maintain relationships. OTOH, if you always wait for someone else to take that step...
FWIW, I also spent Easter alone. Nothing new about that. Most of my friends and all of my relatives live at least 1000 miles away. How do I cope? For one thing, my relationships with those who matter to me are sound. Talk about a warm fuzzy; knowing we're in good shape is a great one. Sometimes I call them on holidays, sometimes I send a card, silly message, maybe flowers, a small treat. All those little actions make me feel great!
Apparently you missed the part where I have invited (consistently) for holiday dinners to no avail, other more important and to be fair ancestral commitments win out. I too am a giver and enjoy the small thoughts or just because/thinking of you gifts (not so much cards) but beyond the gratitude expressed have received very little in response in terms of thoughtful gifts and as such have whittled down a bit.
Presuming you're hetero, start dating and find yourself a woman and start your own family. As suggested, why not do some inviting of your own ? Keep trying and stay positive!
Insert game show buzzer....nope. Dating past 50 is seen as desperate and pathetic in the gay male community, so there's little if any incentive there. The inviting part has been difficult with Covid and of course just as people are warming up to socializing there's talk of another variant and social distancing measures once again. I know, it doesn't seem optimistic...
Why does it have to be relatives? If friends aren’t coming over to your house, why not join a meet up group and find people who like your hobbies, hiking, travel, stamp collecting, whatever it is and bond that way. If there is no significant other, maybe a dating site if that interests you. Adopting a dog and taking the dog to the dog park is a good way to meet people.
If you rarely receive invites, are you an appreciative guest, do you bring a bottle of wine or flowers and thank the host for a great time? Arguing over politics or sitting alone in the corner probably won’t get you invited back. At most every gathering I’ve been to, there are lots of hugs and warm fuzzies at the end of the evening. The host wants to know you enjoyed yourself and their effort was appreciated. Take a few minutes to chat before heading to your car, people notice things like this.
Covid is kind of an issue...love animals but have a cat instead currently who is fantastic company. I'm a non-negotiable when it comes to not bringing something for the host, it's a requirement in my book for good manners. I have long prided myself in being able to make conversation with anyone speaking the same language, regardless of political or religious views. I'm beginning to feel the odd man out for the wrong reasons...
I miss my family and spending holidays with them. That doesn't mean I would like to spend my holidays with someone else's family. I did that a few times when they wouldn't take no for an answer. You get those "why are you here looks" from some of the guests.
I miss my family and spending holidays with them. That doesn't mean I would like to spend my holidays with someone else's family. I did that a few times when they wouldn't take no for an answer. You get those "why are you here looks" from some of the guests.
I think I’m there with you. I went to see a show in the afternoon by myself and went to a museum before that. I had a good time, even though it wasn’t with family.
my holidays became considerably more pleasant and peaceful, when i stopped spending them with family
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