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I often see people criticize other people for feeling a certain way, as if it's petty, trivial, and it's generally beneath their superior ability to handle conflict and emotions.
But then I see the same people get tripped up and triggered over an issue that is near and dear to their own hearts, and observe how they succumb to the same emotive patterns as the person they once criticized.
Why do people pretend to be so stoic when it comes to other people's issues, when it's clear that they are triggered by their own issues? It seems so hypocritical, and lacking in self-awareness. Why is it viewed so negatively to acknowledge that we all have our own, unique vulnerabilities?
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a _____ by Mark Manson is a good one to check out. Easily digestible.
You're the second person to suggest that book to me. Must be good. I listened to the Meditations book. I didn't absorb much but it seemed very similar to the non judgement principle. I also liked the Momento Mori aspect to it. I noticed he started off with gratitude which I liked. I will have to give this book a listen and go back to the Meditations one again to understand more. Thanks.
I’m Scandinavian. I have enough enough stoicism for 5 people. Anyone want to borrow some?
True story: My Scandinavian MIL was so stoic that when my SIL called her to tell her that her son had died of a heart attic the first thing she said was, "That's the way it goes."
Never felt sorry for herself a day in her hard life and wouldn't have had a clue how to feel sorry for anyone else. My SIL was outraged and never forgave her. She still boils over with hurt feelings and my MIL died in peaceful grace.
I often see people criticize other people for feeling a certain way, as if it's petty, trivial, and it's generally beneath their superior ability to handle conflict and emotions.
But then I see the same people get tripped up and triggered over an issue that is near and dear to their own hearts, and observe how they succumb to the same emotive patterns as the person they once criticized.
Why do people pretend to be so stoic when it comes to other people's issues, when it's clear that they are triggered by their own issues? It seems so hypocritical, and lacking in self-awareness. Why is it viewed so negatively to acknowledge that we all have our own, unique vulnerabilities?
From my point of view, I think a lot of these emotions are fake, and that it's a flaw to be activated in such a way, if they are not.
Too much encouragement to expect a reward for getting upset about that is something and nothing.
I often see people criticize other people for feeling a certain way, as if it's petty, trivial, and it's generally beneath their superior ability to handle conflict and emotions.
But then I see the same people get tripped up and triggered over an issue that is near and dear to their own hearts, and observe how they succumb to the same emotive patterns as the person they once criticized.
Why do people pretend to be so stoic when it comes to other people's issues, when it's clear that they are triggered by their own issues? It seems so hypocritical, and lacking in self-awareness. Why is it viewed so negatively to acknowledge that we all have our own, unique vulnerabilities?
This is what I have come up with. I noticed I have a tendency toward doing the "hypocritical" thing. When I do it I am trying to communicate with myself what my hang up is so I can remove it. My ego isn't strong enough to take a direct hit (sorry ego, busting you out) so it has to use someone else to say "see how that looks?" Sometimes I get that and I am sure sometimes I don't. I don't think that is some universal reason but it's probably a reason for other people. So lack of self awareness seems to fit.
As always, check yourself.
Last edited by L8Gr8Apost8; 07-12-2022 at 04:38 AM..
Reason: Solved...:)
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