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Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allthatglitters
Yes, and gag me with the "Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Who would say this tho? They don’t know what love is, because ofc a person has to say they are sorry sometimes. It’s like saying you’re never wrong in any argument or anything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy
Sure, we don’t have to; however, then the question would be, why wouldn’t you want to? Don’t you consider it to be healthy to express/discuss your emotions, particularly with one you love? That said, relative to several (serious) relationships with women in the past, I’ve learned how to be more emotionally open/communicative/vulnerable as a man within the context of such; however, it works both ways and only gradually unfolds, of course. Otherwise, it’s something else entirely.
Love this.<3
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy
It’s not only possible to feel attachment/love sans ‘possessiveness’ - but necessary, relative to one’s psychological health as well as to the stability of the relationship. Keep in mind ‘true love’ is a two-way street; if either person feels as though they must cling to, or possess, the other - it’s not love (nor is it sustainable or healthy, for that matter).
SO true…real love is encouraging & supporting each other to be all they can be. It’s not possession. IMO, healthy relationships based on love AND compatibility aren’t as common as they should be or can be. So, ppl question love & its authenticity because it’s so far removed from what they have experienced.
Who would say this tho? They don’t know what love is, because ofc a person has to say they are sorry sometimes. It’s like saying you’re never wrong.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,615,714 times
Reputation: 7618
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801
The character Jenny in Love Story, that's who.
I didn’t know it was a line from a super old movie. Tbh, it makes even less sense now. IMO feeling sorry & knowing when to apologize in a relationship is important. Nobody is perfect & everybody has arguments.
I don't think that anyone can justify a lack of compassion for humanity because their needs for love, belonging and self-actualization are not met.
It’s basic psychology/health relative to our hierarchy of needs/logic, not a ‘justification’ for anything. Those with poor emotional connections (sans a sense of belonging/love) have a more difficult time functioning in society re: ‘lower-tiered’ needs, yet alone a compassion or love for humanity, as a whole.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
So I don't believe that one necessarily naturally follows the other or that feeling that one's needs are adequately met is a precondition for compassionate feeling or behavior.
Obviously, needs lower in the hierarchy must be satisfied first i.e. food, clothing and shelter prior to love, belonging and esteem. Self-actualization is at the top of the list, although it’s not as if we consciously check-off-the-boxes as each is met. ;-)
A person who has been in one-sided or dysfunctional relationships is going to have difficulty believing in (or finding/maintaining) a healthy one; they may question the entire concept of love, per the thread, and/or believe it doesn’t exist. It’s what you might call a ‘jaded perspective’, whether it be regarding romantic love or (a lack of) compassionate feelings for the homeless or humanity, as a whole. Unresolved anger is typically at its core.
In other words, we have to love ourselves (and be in a good place mentally) in order to be capable of loving others.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
A lack of compassion for humanity can tread into some pretty pathological territory, where it cannot be excused by the individual's unmet needs.
I agree, in the same way unrequited love can turn (or be) pathological as well i.e. stalking, obsession and the associated anger/rage. It’s a matter of identifying potentially harmful problems in order to work toward psychological health.
It’s basic psychology/health relative to our hierarchy of needs/logic, not a ‘justification’ for anything. Those with poor emotional connections (sans a sense of belonging/love) have a more difficult time functioning in society re: ‘lower-tiered’ needs, yet alone a compassion or love for humanity, as a whole.
Obviously, needs lower in the hierarchy must be satisfied first i.e. food, clothing and shelter prior to love, belonging and esteem. Self-actualization is at the top of the list, although it’s not as if we consciously check-off-the-boxes as each is met. ;-)
A person who has been in one-sided or dysfunctional relationships is going to have difficulty believing in (or finding/maintaining) a healthy one; they may question the entire concept of love, per the thread, and/or believe it doesn’t exist. It’s what you might call a ‘jaded perspective’, whether it be regarding romantic love or (a lack of) compassionate feelings for the homeless or humanity, as a whole. Unresolved anger is typically at its core.
In other words, we have to love ourselves (and be in a good place mentally) in order to be capable of loving others.
I agree, in the same way unrequited love can turn (or be) pathological as well i.e. stalking, obsession and the associated anger/rage. It’s a matter of identifying potentially harmful problems in order to work toward psychological health.
Maslow's hierarchy is a handy framework for discussions like this but keep in mind it is only a theory and with very limited empirical support. It is often discussed in an oversimplified way that makes it seem much more concrete than Maslow himself intended. So sure, it's a starting point, but that is ALL. See this for just one source discussing limitations: https://www.td.org/insights/maslows-...t-from-fiction
You are correct on one point, and that is that we don't consciously check off those boxes - but more than that we don't necessarily fulfill ANY need completely yet we often proceed to working to the next "higher" (and that's not entirely accurate either!) one as we progress through life. Let's not get too pedantic here, especially at an "Intro to Psych" level.
Maslow's hierarchy is a handy framework for discussions like this but keep in mind it is only a theory and with very limited empirical support. It is often discussed in an oversimplified way that makes it seem much more concrete than Maslow himself intended. So sure, it's a starting point, but that is ALL.
You are correct on one point, and that is that we don't consciously check off those boxes - but more than that we don't necessarily fulfill ANY need completely yet we often proceed to working to the next "higher" (and that's not entirely accurate either!) one as we progress through life. Let's not get too pedantic here, especially at an "Intro to Psych" level.
You seem to be the pedant; I’m simply discussing my opinion (to which you apparently disagree or have a problem). It’s true I’m speaking to basic psychological health, but it is my own; it’s not as if I’m pretending to be a psychologist or therapist (or have had serious relationship issues in my past). I’m not, and I don’t. I’m just a guy who has (I believe to be) a healthy perspective on love - including a compassion for humanity and a shared loved with a romantic partner as well as friends and family.
That said, I firmly believe we must love ourselves (and share a mutual love with others) to obtain psychological health, as a whole. Thanks for your googled references, but I don’t need to read about Psychology online to have a working knowledge of such or an opinion re: love, per the thread (nor does anyone else, for that matter).
You seem to be the pedant; I’m simply discussing my opinion (to which you apparently disagree or have a problem). It’s true I’m speaking to basic psychological health, but it is my own; it’s not as if I’m pretending to be a psychologist or therapist (or have had serious relationship issues in my past). I’m not, and I don’t. I’m just a guy who has (I believe to be) a healthy perspective on love - including a compassion for humanity and a shared loved with a romantic partner as well as friends and family.
That said, I firmly believe we must love ourselves (and share a mutual love with others) to obtain psychological health, as a whole. Thanks for your googled references, but I don’t need to read about Psychology online to have a working knowledge of such or an opinion re: love, per the thread (nor does anyone else, for that matter).
Whewww - thanks for confirming that you don't and haven't had any (serious) issues in your past - I feel better now that you're able to have a clear and cogent discussion...that said...I'm glad to say I don't eschew reliable sources of online information and can use those to go beyond my own limited experiences. You must truly be a man of the world!
Whewww - thanks for confirming that you don't and haven't had any (serious) issues in your past - I feel better now that you're able to have a clear and cogent discussion...that said...
Point being, it’s (more than) clear many have (or had) serious issues relative to their antagonism or jaded perspective re: love, per the thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
...I'm glad to say I don't eschew reliable sources of online information and can use those to go beyond my own limited experiences.
I don’t consider online sources of information to be reliable (or necessary) relative to a Forum and my opinion/personal life/experiences. :-)
I didn’t know it was a line from a super old movie. Tbh, it makes even less sense now. IMO feeling sorry & knowing when to apologize in a relationship is important. Nobody is perfect & everybody has arguments.
It's one of the most quoted movie lines of all time....I find it SO annoying, and I struggle to figure out what the heck it means.
For instance : Does love mean never having to say you're sorry because lovers never (or should never) disappoint each other? Or is it because apologies are unnecessary when two people love each other?
It may be someone's idea of a philosophically beautiful definition of love, but to me it's just plain stupid.
Yes, and gag me with the "Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Quote:
Originally Posted by allthatglitters
It's one of the most quoted movie lines of all time....I find it SO annoying, and I struggle to figure out what the heck it means.
For instance : Does love mean never having to say you're sorry because lovers never (or should never) disappoint each other? Or is it because apologies are unnecessary when two people love each other?
It may be someone's idea of a philosophically beautiful definition of love, but to me it's just plain stupid.
I agree; it has no practical application whatsoever. That said, it’s a ridiculous and antiquated movie (with countless stereotypes); we can’t expect anything of relevance from it.
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