Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 03-01-2023, 02:53 PM
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,615,714 times
Reputation: 7618


Originally Posted by I_Play_Poker View Post

You know why a divorce is so expensive? Because it is worth it.

It’s not that expensive if you admit your mistake early & get out while you’re still young…before kids come along. What makes it more expensive IMO is trying to hang on for dear life to a “love” that is incompatible & was never going to work.

We live & learn, but it would be so much easier if ppl were able to identify red flags & listen to them right away. There is a good love that helps you grow to be the best you can be, as a couple & as an individual. BUT, there is a lot of toxic love out there that is selfish, needy & unstable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 03-01-2023, 06:28 PM
23,646 posts, read 70,643,418 times
Reputation: 49428
Originally Posted by I_Play_Poker View Post
We love people because of how they make us feel about ourselves. If they make us feel good that is.

When you get into the *i need them or they need me* Or well we have been together all this time, or it is for the kids , or any other reasons we make up except love ........that is a "Sick Dependency". If we no longer love someone but we make up reasons to stay with them , because we are afraid to leave or afraid to be alone ,or anything we make up to make us feel better about staying, that is dependency and it for sure is not healthy. So love has become a sick dependency. It sounds so terrible, and it is. But most people don't stay in that place , they divorce.

You know why a divorce is so expensive? Because it is worth it.

What you are describing as "love" is a power-over relationship. A needs B or B needs A. Yes, many people have that experience. Enforced support of someone inferior in some way is something entirely different than love.

I am who I am. You are who you are. If we were to start a relationship and you attempted to pull a power-over on me, and I couldn't figure out a way to prevent that, I'd be gone.

Those I love, I love because of who they are. We have common values and moral underpinnings. I feel about myself how I feel about myself. I don't need anyone else to do that for me. I suspect you don't either.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-02-2023, 03:32 PM
Location: Mt. Lebanon
2,001 posts, read 2,519,446 times
Reputation: 2351
Originally Posted by Jill_Schramm View Post
I have a question for you all:

How do you define “love?” More particularly, I am interested in seeing if “love” for you necessarily implies a relationship with another being. Or do you think it can be used in a broader, more “political” sense?

Personally, I feel that we can only pretend to love either another being or a group of other beings if we know them personally or have some level of emotional intimacy with them. We cannot truly pretend to love strangers … as long as they are still strangers to us.
Of course you can't love strangers. At least not in the romantic way if this is what you're talking about.
You can only "love" strangers like in the "love thy neighbors" kind of thing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top