Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Play_Poker
We love people because of how they make us feel about ourselves. If they make us feel good that is.
When you get into the *i need them or they need me* Or well we have been together all this time, or it is for the kids , or any other reasons we make up except love ........that is a "Sick Dependency". If we no longer love someone but we make up reasons to stay with them , because we are afraid to leave or afraid to be alone ,or anything we make up to make us feel better about staying, that is dependency and it for sure is not healthy. So love has become a sick dependency. It sounds so terrible, and it is. But most people don't stay in that place , they divorce.
You know why a divorce is so expensive? Because it is worth it.
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Interesting.
What you are describing as "love" is a power-over relationship. A needs B or B needs A. Yes, many people have that experience. Enforced support of someone inferior in some way is something entirely different than love.
I am who I am. You are who you are. If we were to start a relationship and you attempted to pull a power-over on me, and I couldn't figure out a way to prevent that, I'd be gone.
Those I love, I love because of who they are. We have common values and moral underpinnings. I feel about myself how I feel about myself. I don't need anyone else to do that for me. I suspect you don't either.