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She can tell me something that happened to her at work, or a policy they have..or whatever and make it sound like it's totally ridiculous. When I explain it's not exclusive to the facility she works at and that it is common practice she still don't understand. It's almost as she takes everything so personal. Drives me insane. We are in the same line of work so I know what she is complaining about.
Maybe its that she is bitter about having to work.
Alternatively, there are some people who have what I call the "blue collar mentality." Everybody is out to screw them. And if she displays that attitude at work, it can get her fired. If she doesn't, then she's probably going to quit every job pretty quickly. I had a friend who was pretty bright, but the only time he stayed at a job for more than a year was during his 4 year marriage. (yes, he quit the marriage but for very good reasons).
I have a sibling that has had at least 15 jobs in her adult career. Her linkedin page shows a new job about every 9-15 months. I think she is a liar and it takes her employer about that long to figure it out. She lost another business in about 15 months (before Covid, unrelated). So clearly its her, not the employers.
A very good buddy has a brother that has had 40+ jobs. He tends to go for the scams in general so the failure rate is higher than a normal job would be. Remember those ads in the paper that started: "I need 10 people that want to make $100,000 in the next 6 months"..............he is drawn to those types of jobs, he thinks he will outscam the scammer! Like he will make 100K in 4 months vs. 6.
OK, so from age 29-41, you said she never really worked. So what did she do regarding work all throughout her 20s? Also, you said she made just enough DURING the marriage to care for herself & kids, so what kind of work was that & can't she just keep doing that too? I mean I know she may need to do more than that, but couldn't she continue that work?
Now, just like 10, 20, 30, etc. yrs ago, I'd very, very, very strongly recommend to any female that she get a good education while she's young...like right after graduating from HS at age 18 or at least by early 20s, so she can have that good career because a long happy marriage to some financially well-off or even wealthy man isn't promised to everyone OR if he has an affair, is abusive, etc., the woman doesn't have to take that BS & give him the boot & take care of HERSELF.
A woman may have teo start over in life when her marriage ends, but at least she'll know what to do to make money & not be so down & out & confused, etc. that she doesn't know what do.
OK, so from age 29-41, you said she never really worked. So what did she do regarding work all throughout her 20s? Also, you said she made just enough DURING the marriage to care for herself & kids, so what kind of work was that & can't she just keep doing that too? I mean I know she may need to do more than that, but couldn't she continue that work?
Now, just like 10, 20, 30, etc. yrs ago, I'd very, very, very strongly recommend to any female that she get a good education while she's young...like right after graduating from HS at age 18 or at least by early 20s, so she can have that good career because a long happy marriage to some financially well-off or even wealthy man isn't promised to everyone OR if he has an affair, is abusive, etc., the woman doesn't have to take that BS & give him the boot & take care of HERSELF.
A woman may have teo start over in life when her marriage ends, but at least she'll know what to do to make money & not be so down & out & confused, etc. that she doesn't know what do.
She was together with her husband before marriage. He was the only one that ever worked supported the family. She was taking care of the kids.
It is hard to get back working if you have been out of it for so long. Especially if you are at an older age and have to work jobs that are entry level or everyone there is much younger than you.
My suggestion for you is to not try to help her jobwise. There is nothing really you can do other than lending her an open ear to vent. And I am sure that's all she expects from you. It is not your responsibility to help her in her career other than listening.
I have a best friend and we have known each other pretty much our whole life. ...
She is smart, friendly and a popular friend. ... She is unable to keep a job and I don't know why. She has been hired and let go several times since she started her career. According to her, it's her coworkers that are rude jerks and they all talk about her behind her back. ... I just don't understand what the problem is.
How can I help her? ...
Definitely her problem. When one thinks others are "rude jerks," it is always the one that thinks that way.
There is an old saying: "When you point the finger at another, the majority of your fingers are pointing back at you."
She probably treats you differently because you are the one that overlooks her attitude toward other.
I have a best friend and we have known each other pretty much our whole life. She is 41 years old and was married for 12 years and divorced her husband a couple of years ago. During her marriage she never really worked a regular job. He made enough money to support her and their 2 kids.
When they divorced, she was forced to get an education and a job. She managed to graduate trade school and after a couple of tries finding the right program for her, and was receiving job offers shortly after.
She is smart, friendly and a popular friend. But I am concerned for her. She is unable to keep a job and I don't know why. She has been hired and let go several times since she started her career. According to her, it's her coworkers that are rude jerks and they all talk about her behind her back. I have tried to tell her to stop assuming the worst. Maybe it's not what she thinks. Maybe she is showing her attitude on her face and that put people off.
I have brought this up and she swear up and down it's no her, it's them. But how can it not be her at this point. My friend is pretty shy when you first meat her and doesn't talk a whole lot. One of the things she always complains about is how nosy her new coworkers are and ask personal questions she don't want to talk about. I find it so odd. As a friend she is great fun and I just don't understand what the problem is.
How can I help her? Any advice would be appreciated. Maybe I don't see the obvious because of our background. Thanks.
She could just be anti-social due to self esteem issues. I have a niece that is super smart, played the stock market at age 12 and went on to graduate top of her class. She went to college a few years but never graduated and every single job she's had (including sitting with elderly people), she could not handle working with other people. She was rude, mean and talked back to anyone that tried to instruct her on anything. She quit every job she had and recently was hospitalized for paranoid Schizophrenia. She had very few girlfriends growing up but was a quiet little mouse, sweet as they come. As she grew older, the problems were more pronounced. She has a bonafide mental illness and still refuses to take her medicine. Her mother (my sister) enabled her a lot and she is frantically trying to fill out forms to get her daughter on disability. You would think the daughter would do that if she couldn't work but she refuses to do anything. If I were you I would just leave it alone, it's her business and although you want to help, she will find anything you say offensive.
I've never worked anywhere, where co-workers ask personal questions. I especially wouldn't ask someone from a foreign country where they went to school, because I know nothing about the schools or colleges in most countries, so any answer would be meaningless anyway. To me, it sounds odd that they wanted to know where the UK guy went to school.
I get questions like that all the time the minute people hear my accent. It’s just curiosity and a conversation starter.
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