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I have a friend and I have to say…the more I know, the less I want to know. Is this narcissistic personality disorder, or something else?
-Always has to be a contrarian, in even the most inconsequential matters. To him, everyone’s a “dumb sheep” and he’ll go out of his way just to be different, even if it’s to his detriment.
-Despite being a contrarian in most matters, pays the utmost attention to his clothes, the kind of car he drives, etc. Is very much into status symbols.
-Latches onto conspiracy theories and thinks he’s unique because of some supposed insider knowledge.
-Always has to support controversial, fringe politicians.
-Arrogant attitude and behavior and thinks he’s smarter than the masses and as such, refuses to follow rules. Example: During Covid, certain businesses had mask mandates he was forced to comply with yet he just had to choose the one type of mask that wasn’t recommended - a handkerchief tied around his face.
-Delights in constantly breaking rules, especially if it irks people.
-Underperforms in the job market and has no achievements commensurate his sense of self worth.
-Is a devout member of the Greek Orthodox Church and acts as if he’s a high-ranking member of same. Despite being religious, displays stunningly selfish behavior and a lack of empathy for others. Justifies these behaviors in the name of his religion. Although not a monk, he looks like one with his beard and religious icons he sometimes wears.
-Despite being a forty something man, constantly complains about all the annoyances everyone experiences. It honestly reminds me of a teenager who enters the real world and suddenly discovers that yes, life is full of stupid crap.
-Hates the government with a passion, yet is the first in line to apply for a government benefit, or job.
-Enjoys being argumentative and refuses to let certain topics die.
What is this? Whatever it is, it’s cost him many friendships yet in his mind, everyone else is the problem, of course.
I don't see any one distinct disorder that covers all in what you present. I would strongly suspect that there is unresolved early trauma involved with at least some of the behaviors.
I don't think anyone here can give a medical/psych diagnosis based on your biased observations of someone.
Why is labelling him important to you?
Why is he even a friend?
Just avoid him!
Have to agree. All you've presented is the bad and yet you expect total strangers who've never even met him to pigeonhole him! Why? Every story has two sides OP. For all we know the lens through which you view this person is distorted.
"Narcissism versus Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism is a trait, while NPD is a pervasive pattern of behaviors that impacts all areas of life and functioning. It is possible to have narcissistic traits and not meet criteria for NPD."
From my personal experience, for those with NPD, they use people and throw them away when they are done with them. They will steer every conversation to a conversation about themselves. They want to be admired above all else, lack empathy, and have a high opinion of themselves which is generally justified by nothing. These are very undesirable people to associate with in any way.
If I thought something was wrong with the behavior of someone I knew, I avoid them like the plague. I really don't care what is wrong with them, but simply that I think there is something wrong with them that I don't want to deal with sends me in the other direction.
I got the feeling that the political stance of the OP did not agree with the person being discussed, which has nothing to do with NPD.
If I thought something was wrong with the behavior of someone I knew, I avoid them like the plague. I really don't care what is wrong with them, but simply that I think there is something wrong with them that I don't want to deal with sends me in the other direction.
Exactly. This person is bothering the OP enough that they took the time to type out a laundry list of things they don't like about him. Sounds like it's time to drop him from your life, quickly.
This list could almost be written about me, minus the Greek Orthodox stuff. Sounds semi-psychopathic, except for the part about under performing/no achievements. And at his age these traits and behaviors will not change, that's just who he is. Drop him before you end up as his target.
I have a friend and I have to say…the more I know, the less I want to know. Is this narcissistic personality disorder, or something else?
-Always has to be a contrarian, in even the most inconsequential matters. To him, everyone’s a “dumb sheep” and he’ll go out of his way just to be different, even if it’s to his detriment.
-Despite being a contrarian in most matters, pays the utmost attention to his clothes, the kind of car he drives, etc. Is very much into status symbols.
-Latches onto conspiracy theories and thinks he’s unique because of some supposed insider knowledge.
-Always has to support controversial, fringe politicians.
-Arrogant attitude and behavior and thinks he’s smarter than the masses and as such, refuses to follow rules. Example: During Covid, certain businesses had mask mandates he was forced to comply with yet he just had to choose the one type of mask that wasn’t recommended - a handkerchief tied around his face.
-Delights in constantly breaking rules, especially if it irks people.
-Underperforms in the job market and has no achievements commensurate his sense of self worth.
-Is a devout member of the Greek Orthodox Church and acts as if he’s a high-ranking member of same. Despite being religious, displays stunningly selfish behavior and a lack of empathy for others. Justifies these behaviors in the name of his religion. Although not a monk, he looks like one with his beard and religious icons he sometimes wears.
-Despite being a forty something man, constantly complains about all the annoyances everyone experiences. It honestly reminds me of a teenager who enters the real world and suddenly discovers that yes, life is full of stupid crap.
-Hates the government with a passion, yet is the first in line to apply for a government benefit, or job.
-Enjoys being argumentative and refuses to let certain topics die.
What is this? Whatever it is, it’s cost him many friendships yet in his mind, everyone else is the problem, of course.
Strongly consider why you invest your personal time to follow/complain about this person, yet alone still refer to him as a friend. In other words, worry about your own psychological health/life - not his.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick
I don't think anyone here can give a medical/psych diagnosis based on your biased observations of someone.
Why is labelling him important to you?
Why is he even a friend?
Just avoid him!
I read the OP's post with interest and am a little disgusted at the responses he got. He's trying to 'figure out' a friend's unusual behaviors out of curiosity and got needlessly slammed for it. This should have been the ideal site for him since this is the 'psychology' forum.
CoastieTX, your friend's psychosis is more than just narcissism. I once worked with someone who had some of those traits but he didn't live a lie. And we've all known people who just have to have the last word even if it means they say a bunch of BS to get it (the need to contradict). I don't know if it's a means of attention, or what, but they usually look like dumb fools.
You won't be friends for long. Your patience will hit a wall, and if there's something positive that he gives you as a friend then you didn't say what it is. That person is toxic.
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