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While I try not to, I can't seem to help myself from judging people by their grammar and pronunciation. Years ago I was casually seeing a woman for a few weeks when she said "I seen your friend Drew..." and I made an instant decision that I didn't want to see her anymore.
I guess it is no coincidence that my wife worked part time at a library during high school and college before getting degrees in business communication and English literature and then going to law school.
My old man taught college lit. I am pretty well educated. I listen more to content than grammar. I know many people with little formal education who are far wiser and more thoughtful than myself even if their means of expression sometimes falls outside accepted English.
Same token, I know plenty of people who have degrees under their belt, an excellent command of language, can quote poems and literature all day, but their conversations are inane and uninteresting.
When people are out of shape and chalk it up to "not having enough time to work out," I tend to believe they are lazy, self deluded (on many fronts) and lack discipline. I tend to be right. Now if they say they just don't have any interest in fitness and enjoy the pleasurable foods too much to be disciplined, I see them as honest.
My foolproof way is the waiter test. Watch how somebody treats the waiter, for in six months that's how that person will be treating you.
I've heard a lot of people say this. However, I've known people who treat their loved ones and families WORSE than the other people in their lives! Because their families should know them and give them slack or because they only care what OTHERS think, not their families - so yeah, that's pretty sick but something to consider. No single "rule" works all the time.
In looking for a potential life long partner, I assess a woman on how she treats her father (if applicable). Typically, how a woman treats their father... is how they treat the men in their lives. And I would say same goes for men and their mother's.
My sisters have told me you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes. They size men up by their shoes- quality of the shoe, condition of it, etc. It's not the tell all, but you can start there.
Is there anything else that you use to assess people, such as shoes or a car? Not necessarily the cost of these things, but the condition, style, etc.
Or maybe it's something physical like finger nails, teeth, hairstyle?
I assess people by their actions and words, their character. That's it. Romantically of course I have to be physically attracted to them, but outside of that I don't care about their shoes, car, clothes, fingernails, nose-hair, teeth (as long as they're not rotted out), what have you.
Perfect example is my husband. No one knows what I see in him--though I think he's incredibly attractive, but that's just my weird taste in what looks good. It's his character that I respect and am attracted to. I don't give two who-whos about the material things he got.
Shoes?? Seems quite superficial to me. Some of us don't even think about shoes, except for comfort and appropriateness. I'm just not interested in shoes.
A perfect white smile is nice to look at, sure. But there could be other factors at play. For example---for various reasons my enamel wore off. I spent a few thousand on various whitening treatments until an honest dentist told me no whitening treatment will work when you don't have enamel.
So I have to put up with some stains and cracks until I can spring for veneers. I always take note of people's teeth, but wouldn't judge them for it unless it's a hygiene issue.
Agree with others re correct use of the language, though. But I wouldn't form a complete opinion on just one factor like that.
Being able to have a decent give-and-take in conversation with some intelligence behind it, is probably the most decisive quality.
My sisters have told me you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes. They size men up by their shoes- quality of the shoe, condition of it, etc. It's not the tell all, but you can start there.
Is there anything else that you use to assess people, such as shoes or a car? Not necessarily the cost of these things, but the condition, style, etc.
Or maybe it's something physical like finger nails, teeth, hairstyle?
How did I miss this gem from 2009 that someone dredged up??
I don't really know where to begin, so I probably just won't
I once mentioned the shoe thing to some coworkers when I was living in Hawaii. One of the locals said, "Well, the first thing would be 'Is he even wearing any?'"
That killed me, but it's true. And you can always tell who grew up on the mainland by how skinny their feet were. If you grow up in flip-flops and not "toe-pinch" shoes, your feet turn out much wider.
Me? I go by teeth. They don't have to be perfectly straight, nor do they have to be laser-blasted white, but they do have to be clean and well-maintained. Brown teeth with a thick layer of tartar and plaque along the gumline and obvious periodontal disease will send me in the other direction. Sounds trite, but your smile is your best accessory!
Agree! When I first moved to the islands, I purchased a new pair of closed-toed shoes to be properly dressed for an interview with a CEO. When I showed up, he greeted me barefoot. That's when I realized I had wasted a lot of money on a pair of so-called "proper" shoes. Those shoes have never seen the light of day since.
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