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To JMWalker and Aluco, where did you move from...I do hear from a lot of westcoast people that life on the east coast is just not the same as life on the west coast,as far as culture and way of life is concerned. Is that the case with the both of you.
We moved from Santa Cruz, Ca, and yes, it's been somewhat of a culture shock that we're still trying to get used to. I guess sometimes when you move, you don't realize what you had until you don't have it anymore. We really miss the plethora of options in dining, entertainment, outdoors etc that the Triangle just doesn't have. But more than anything, the natives here are just different, not that they're not nice, but they seem to be very aloof. They are friendly to a point, but nothing beyond that, you get nothing deep from ANY of them, and forget about breaking into any of their "inner circles" if you don't have the "ya'll, fixin', grits" accent. Of course it was our choice, nobody held a gun to our head, so we have to take the bad with the good.
I moved to the area in the 1990s and really have to say I love it here, though I can see why people might not like it for weather reasons. It still gets cold in winters, though not for nearly as long as it does in the Northeast, and the summers can be brutal. It wasn't that much of a problem for me since I had lived on the Great lakes before moving so hot, humid summers were the norm up there, but the people I know who moved here from coastal New England were apparently not as accustomed to that.
As for the people down here, I think people equate not-aggressive with friendly and this results in confusion. People down here might be unfriendly, but speaking from personal experience they are not as likely to be in your face about it as are people from the Northeast.
Another thing is family. When I moved I had a bunch of cousins in Durham. One of them had gone to Duke and never really left. In fact, he convinced his brothers to move down, and we eventually followed. I could see it being difficult if you were going in cold.
I feel bad for people that aren't happy, no matter where they live. However, I don't think the area is responsible for that.
Most of what I have read in this thread speaks of people being lonely and not having friends. And yet, I don't know that any of you came to any of the city data meet ups that we had. I only went to the last one but it was fun. It was great to put faces to the names. I found EVERYONE there to be friendly.
My wish for all of you is that you can find happiness. If it isn't here, please make every effort to move back "home". I have posted this before and won't go into it again but when my parents moved to NC from NY, my mom was terribly unhappy. As a young child, going through elementary school, I knew she was MISERABLE being away from family and friends. However, I also knew that she made little effort to meet people. I vowed I would NEVER be that unhappy.
Years later, my parents moved to FL. They moved back to NC about 10 years ago and RAVE about the area. What changed? All the "kids" live in NC and so Mom doesn't feel lonely anymore.
I realize it isn't easy to move back but it wasn't easy to move here. It can be done. Do not spend your life wishing you had done something different. Do it NOW. Or...find a way to be happy.
I feel bad for people that aren't happy, no matter where they live. However, I don't think the area is responsible for that.
Most of what I have read in this thread speaks of people being lonely and not having friends. And yet, I don't know that any of you came to any of the city data meet ups that we had. I only went to the last one but it was fun. It was great to put faces to the names. I found EVERYONE there to be friendly.
My wish for all of you is that you can find happiness. If it isn't here, please make every effort to move back "home". I have posted this before and won't go into it again but when my parents moved to NC from NY, my mom was terribly unhappy. As a young child, going through elementary school, I knew she was MISERABLE being away from family and friends. However, I also knew that she made little effort to meet people. I vowed I would NEVER be that unhappy.
Years later, my parents moved to FL. They moved back to NC about 10 years ago and RAVE about the area. What changed? All the "kids" live in NC and so Mom doesn't feel lonely anymore.
I realize it isn't easy to move back but it wasn't easy to move here. It can be done. Do not spend your life wishing you had done something different. Do it NOW. Or...find a way to be happy.
Vicki
Must have been an exceptional day for me. My wife does an excellent job of keeping me civilized
I do fine just hanging out and going places. My wife was anxious about meeting people to feel connected. The first 5 months were terrible as she looked for work. Now she has a job that came with new friends and she feels more grounded. Though none come over for dinner?
It is important to feel some connectedness somehow. I suppose it is more difficult for those who didn't leave on their own terms--there will always be that "what if.." that is tough to let go of I think...
I had originally posted this in another thread but I could have posted this also in this thread, so I copy and pasted my post.
I wish I could go back heres some reasons
Bought a house in southern wake county in the rural area so a car is a must , its 4 miles to the closest gas station, so I have to drive miles to get anywhere.
Real Estate is almost creeping up to prices that where I was from are common
The weather is too extreme, Very hot and humid 90 plus degree days for months during the summer months, For the last few years its been very cold , you will get a 60 degree day or two once in a while.
Many snow storms that can shut down the area for days and then there are ice storms quite frequently.
Hardly any public transportation
Taxes on just about everything
Food quality not very good and food prices are higher
Not many jobs, I know I know we are in a recession
Too far from the oceans and mountains
I agree with everything BostonBoy says. I also am not used to reading about and hearing about shootings almost every day. I came from Maine where a shooting was HUGE news because it never happens. I miss my family, and I miss the weather in the spring and summer. The summers here are OPPRESSIVE and the winters the last few years are nothing to write home about. At least up north when you get snow the plows come immediately and school and work goes back to normal the next day, not the following week.
I think most people don't recognize how heavily weighted the "pro" of having family friends close to you really is.
I wish I read this 3 year ago. I hope after my wife and I return home I will eventually not "regret" our move to the Triangle and chaulk it up as a learning experience (although painful one) We are leaving in March and I probably won't post anymore.
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