Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Welcome to middle school life. I remember this same sort of crap went on when I was in middle school and that was ages ago. And when I taught middle school kids the same crap went on then too. There's something about that age group that brings out the psycho in some kids.
I agree that you SHOULD speak up and tell as many teachers, counselors, etc as you can get to listen. If only one of those people knows how uncomfortable your child is, they might take extra steps to seat her next to a potential friend, give her a little extra attention, and maybe even find a way to subtly remind the Mean Girls what is appropriate OR in the case of boys harassing a little person (WTH!) not so subtly!
My oldest got herself into some of these kinds of troubles last year and in the end was relieved the consequences were not greater (I THINK she learned her lesson but I'm not sure).
My youngest is new in 6th also and hasn't yet identified any Mean Girls but she is feeling the stress. Today she was in tears because they have a rule you can't carry your backpack to class but she didn't yet have a lock for her locker. The conflict was too much and she cracked, then felt bad about being a cry-baby. Luckily I was volunteering in the building and was able to get her homeroom teacher to clarify for us. Once the teacher saw the tears, I think she got that L is a fragile flower.
I KNOW she will have friends soon, as I'm sure the OPs daughter will also, but it is hard for me to wait!
I dunno, I assume it is just one of those things that makes life easier for the teachers. Keep in mind their 4 core classes are RIGHT next to each other, the locker is right outside one of those rooms, and they have 5 minutes in between classes. Believe me, not carrying a back pack is not a hardship for anyone.
And when you have 35 students in a room, I imagine 35 backpacks would just be 35 more things to trip over.
This was just an example of the kind of conflict that causes anxiety in a 10 year old. The teacher made it clear that OF COURSE she would not be in trouble for not having a lock yet...after a week or so they would start enforcing it.
Michellina, thanks for sharing your thoughts. And sorry for your hard time. By the way, what is hapkido? I forgot to mention in my post that she also attended Teen Camp at Bond Park, and said the girls were not too friendly there either. This is why I think she went into school with a not-so-excited attitude. I told her to give everyone a chance and not to generalize.
I have my daughter very busy with activities, etc... I think, in general, the more she is busy following her own interests, the more all this crap will not effect her. I tried to send her off to school with a different perspective: don't think everyone is best friends because you see them talking, and you are the only one feeling lonely. Sometimes I know her mind thinks things she's the ONLY ONE without a buddy at lunch. She did make friends at another gathering, and has befriended one of her brother's friends. We also have a neighbor we are going to hook her up with. I am trying to open some doors. I guess she has to follow them thru.
Just to clarify, the note was to a girl on her bus who is a dwarf, and has to have a major operation on her brain. This also gave my daughter a bad taste in her mouth, because who could make fun of such a person?
Yeah that's true, I forgot they do that "team" junk here in Wake County. I'm just imagining hundreds of kids scrambling to get from one end of the building to the other without backpacks. It looks a lot like the game Lemmings in my head lol.
From my experience of changing middle and high schools -- I wised up after change #3 -- Don't be friendly toward any boys. It will make the girls HATE you. Just smile and nod at the girls trying to be 'friendly' and be 'friendly' toward everyone. They are feeling you out and deciding if there are enough shared interests to be 'friends'. Eventually, you will make friends.
Maybe it's because a lot of my close friends from that time period were boys but geez is this terrible advice. She can be friends with guys and girls! If there are girls that get pissy with her because she is comfortable talking to boys, she probably doesn't want to be friends with those girls in the first place.
It's good that you have her involved in activities....a lot of this is typical middle school stuff, compounded by being new. I encourage my kids to be nice to new kids. They get it now because they were new last year. Middle school is probably the worst possible age to have to start over....even by HS you have a greater level of maturity and realize it's not the end of the world if you don't have a friend on the first day, in MS everything is "pack mentality".
Hopefully she will find a kindred soul in one of her classes or in an activity. There is always someone feeling the same way - although you probably can't convince her of that.
If she is truly being bullied, then you do need to contact the principal and not let up about it.
How about a Meet & Greet with some of these girls and their parents? A getting to know you type social, plan an activity, or something social at your house...etc...May sound "out there" but maybe it will allow everyone a chance to get to know one another...I wouldn't immediately run to the principal or counselor...this may cause her future problems...it's really a shame on how kids are so cruel these days...it was bad when we were kids in school, but feel it's only gotten worse...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I imagine 35 backpacks would just be 35 more things to trip over.
