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Both my girls got up ready to try again this AM, so I think they are learning as they go.
I guess it's like throwing them in the deep end and hoping those swim lessons paid off!
I didn't transfer schools until my senior year in HS, but before that I'd been to summer camp 4 times plus Gov School, so I did have some experience with being a stranger in a strange land. Was going to college easy? Temping for Manpower? or moving to a new town as a young married couple? I guess not...but I did manage to survive and at 43 I'm much more outgoing and confident than I used to be.
Hah, so true. I worked for a place in Raleigh for a short while where the women were so incredibly catty and standoffish. I bet they were the same way in middle school too.
More bad behavior today, from boys and girls. One girl said to my daughter, "I have to sit next to YOU again?!?" Out of the blue! And a boy told her, "WHAT are you doing with that towel? Just get a new one!"
I mean, these kids are miserable! A bunch chew gum in class and "crack" it, and its OK with the teachers?? And some are openly talking while the teacher is teaching a lesson?? I am not impressed so far with Davis Drive.
Hate to say it but sometimes you just get in with a bad mix of kids. I mean, some classes just really suck. I can't imagine the kids in my twins' class acting like this. Who knows, maybe hormones WILL take over, maybe it IS piling on the new kid, heck for all we know you are the parent of the most sensitive child on the planet, but these stories are unbelievable, really. I've rarely heard of stuff this bad happening anywhere (what's the towel comment even mean, anyway?) I feel for your child if it's just bad luck that she's in with a bad group of kids. I've seen it happen and it stinks for everyone.
After reading many of the responses here, I feel even more comfortable than ever when I tell my two daughters that NO ONE is better than they are, regardless. I don't say this to them in a way to be interpreted as conceited behavior, but to be humble, and become humbled. I teach them to ignore the noise outside when faced with others who find pleasure in talking down to someone and attempt to tear apart someone who has a perceived disadvantage. I tell them that people such as this are MISERABLE, and don't deserve the time of day. These so called "Mean Girls" are garbage, created by soulless Hollywood screen writers who pass on this way of being to the clueless population who feel that fiction is reality. I teach my kids to be strong, and that they are LEADERS, not followers. I wish I could turn back the hands of time, back to a time when people genuinely took care of one another, but I can't. My advice? Take matters in your own hands, and by that, I mean teach your children to disregard the garbage of the world, be strong, and do your best to keep them on the straight and narrow. Drown them in love, and let them know they're LOVED. Give them the confidence they need to succeed. Be there for them, let them know they're important. Keep cynicism out of their lives as much as possible; nothing good comes from it. Remember, YOU'RE THEIR HERO, not a singer, actor, or sports figure. Hopefully, when they're faced with a situation away from you, they'll remember what you've taught them and make the right decision. Good luck.
Michellina, thanks for sharing your thoughts. And sorry for your hard time. By the way, what is hapkido? I forgot to mention in my post that she also attended Teen Camp at Bond Park, and said the girls were not too friendly there either. This is why I think she went into school with a not-so-excited attitude. I told her to give everyone a chance and not to generalize.
I have my daughter very busy with activities, etc... I think, in general, the more she is busy following her own interests, the more all this crap will not effect her. I tried to send her off to school with a different perspective: don't think everyone is best friends because you see them talking, and you are the only one feeling lonely. Sometimes I know her mind thinks things she's the ONLY ONE without a buddy at lunch. She did make friends at another gathering, and has befriended one of her brother's friends. We also have a neighbor we are going to hook her up with. I am trying to open some doors. I guess she has to follow them thru.
Just to clarify, the note was to a girl on her bus who is a dwarf, and has to have a major operation on her brain. This also gave my daughter a bad taste in her mouth, because who could make fun of such a person?
sigh.................
Hapkido is another form of martial arts. If you remember Steve Segal he practiced Akido ( sp?) both are learning about how to protect yourself. My husband and I tried Tae kwon do years ago but all that you learn isn't ( IMO ) not going to help you in the real world. It's a great school, run by a Raleigh cop who is awesome with the kids.
Book bags in classrooms? "WTF" Are you ought of your mind. Think about it...fire in school with 30 book bags on the floor? Gun or knife in book bag, accessible every moment of the day. Kids with bookbags walking in the hallways (narrow hallways) between classes????
If a kid does not have a locker, tell teacher and most will say, "OK, put your book bag in the corner." Admittedly schools have 10,000 stupid rules, but no book bag is not one of them.
Fitting in: Middle school is tough, everyone wants to be different, everyone wants to be the same. If another kid moves into group, that is some percentage less attention to each. There is not magic cure, just persistence. Try to make one friend at a time. Good, or even decent teachers will assign someone to look after the new kid. Chances are very slim one will be accepted by the "cool kids" initially. Playing a sport is a sure fire way to get involved, immediately. So is band.
If anyone is aware of kids making fun, or harassing other students, and you have specifics, I feel you should contact a teacher or an administrator. We tell our students that if it happens at home, but impacts at school, you are toast.
"makes me want to homeschool." Pray you are kidding. This is the world. IT is better to crash and burn a few times in early teen years than in early 20's. Learning to deal with people is the most important lesson in school. Running from that lesson is not a good idea.
Ladies, don't mean to offend, but there is something about females. There are lots of good things, but some are not so good. I get to hear a rant from my high school senior about drama in school. My wife comes home from work (all female bank branch) and I get to hear drama about work. My college age daughter calls home at night (you got it) I get to hear drama about the girls in her classes. All I hear about from my three females is D R A M A.
Having stated that, 7th and 8th grade girls are about as viscous as you can get. It is hormones, and other stuff. However, they, and you will get through it. I encourage all of you to not seek excuses but to search for and pursue solutions. Nothing is gonna fix it overnight. Nothing. Celebrate small victories and console the rough spots.
Book bags in classrooms? "WTF" Are you ought of your mind. Think about it...fire in school with 30 book bags on the floor? Gun or knife in book bag, accessible every moment of the day. Kids with bookbags walking in the hallways (narrow hallways) between classes????
If a kid does not have a locker, tell teacher and most will say, "OK, put your book bag in the corner." Admittedly schools have 10,000 stupid rules, but no book bag is not one of them.
Fitting in: Middle school is tough, everyone wants to be different, everyone wants to be the same. If another kid moves into group, that is some percentage less attention to each. There is not magic cure, just persistence. Try to make one friend at a time. Good, or even decent teachers will assign someone to look after the new kid. Chances are very slim one will be accepted by the "cool kids" initially. Playing a sport is a sure fire way to get involved, immediately. So is band.
If anyone is aware of kids making fun, or harassing other students, and you have specifics, I feel you should contact a teacher or an administrator. We tell our students that if it happens at home, but impacts at school, you are toast.
"makes me want to homeschool." Pray you are kidding. This is the world. IT is better to crash and burn a few times in early teen years than in early 20's. Learning to deal with people is the most important lesson in school. Running from that lesson is not a good idea.
Ladies, don't mean to offend, but there is something about females. There are lots of good things, but some are not so good. I get to hear a rant from my high school senior about drama in school. My wife comes home from work (all female bank branch) and I get to hear drama about work. My college age daughter calls home at night (you got it) I get to hear drama about the girls in her classes. All I hear about from my three females is D R A M A.
Having stated that, 7th and 8th grade girls are about as viscous as you can get. It is hormones, and other stuff. However, they, and you will get through it. I encourage all of you to not seek excuses but to search for and pursue solutions. Nothing is gonna fix it overnight. Nothing. Celebrate small victories and console the rough spots.
Good luck to all.
Tell your wife...I said it...You are right.
Nothing against the OP's daughter but the kids that get picked on are usually somewhat different. In middle schools, it is all about fitting in. I'm NOT saying there is ANYTHING wrong with your daughter. Give her lots of love at home and hopefully she'll gain some confidence in herself and sooner or later, she'll fit in somewhere. Girls can be tough. I cringe when I think of some of the things we did in high school.
Reading this thread is making me want to homeschool.
Exactly what I decided to do this year. It's incredibly hard work but my daughter learns more in 3 hours/day than she ever would in WCPSS, and is saved the hypercontrolling atmosphere of the administration (which fails to control ANY of the teen issues) and the mean girl/sexual harassment of the schools.
My youngest is in a charter school in 4th grade and I'll share an anecdote: I took in a treat for her birthday. All the kids knew where to sit, sang happy birthday, and knew that they were NOT to take a bit until my daughter had her first bite. She's in Montessori, so there are 4-6th graders in there. Her first day, she made a ton of new friends. She adores this school. She was bullied badly at her WCPSS school and no one did a thing about it. Next year, hopefully my now-6th grader will get in there as well since she will be at the top of the list as a sibling.
It DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. I would NEVER accept the "kids will be kids" crap.
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