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I don't think transplants to the south will EVER get over thinking good manners is "surface bull****" any more than southerners visiting up north will ever get over thinking yankees are loud, rude, and selfish people who think they know it all.
NEither is true. It is merely a matter of what is considered acceptable social behavior. I know someone from NY who said that one MUST, I repeat, MUST give cash (approximately what the hosts paid for your participation) at a wedding. That shocked me. Down here, that's just tacky to expect someone to give you cash, which is why registries were invented. But apparently a gift of a $200 Waterford crystal vase is tacky "up there."
I lived in New England for three years. I can remember dropping my T pass on the ground on a nasty, cold, wet, snowy day (I was wearing wool mittens). A couple saw my drop it, and walked on by...walked ON the pass, grinding it in the slush. I cried. Yes, I was 30 and I cried. When I went into shops in Cambridge over by Harvard no one greeted me. I was sure they were eyeing me as a potential shoplifter. Nope. Turns out, no one does that there.
These differences can make a person very unhappy in their new environment, and can make them say things like "surface bull***." It's not. Southerners aren't trying to be your friend when they smile and say hello. They don't know you from Adam or, forgoodnesssake, who your PEOPLE are. They are simply being polite. No need to take offense or, god forbid, be suspicious. I got over thinking northerners were rude and loud. Y'all can get over thinking we are "fake."
Rant over. Please understand it was 90% tongue in cheek.
Your openness about your situation is refreshing and hopefully will help others in their decisions about moving without a job. Sounds like you did your research but people weren't very truthful with you and that's too bad. I hope you will find something very soon. I will be very curious to see how you like it when the heat and humidity comes around, it's nothing like the NE. I still have this area on my Retirement List but the summer weather is probably a deal breaker for me. Hope you'll keep posting...
. When I went into shops in Cambridge over by Harvard no one greeted me. I was sure they were eyeing me as a potential shoplifter. Nope. Turns out, no one does that there.
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I'm so used to the "enter store and be greeted and return greeting" now that when I go back to NY, I say hello when I walk into a store and they look at me like I literally have 3 heads. Like I am an alien. And apparently they are rendered mute since it's never returned, LOL.
This is the kind of thing I like about living here. Some of the "let's not make waves no matter is happening" is quite beyond me, especially when instead of asking for corrective action you know the customer is just gonna bad mouth the place. Why not give them the chance to make it right? That's the kind of thing that drives me crazy but it doesn't really happen that often.
I'm so used to the "enter store and be greeted and return greeting" now that when I go back to NY, I say hello when I walk into a store and they look at me like I literally have 3 heads. Like I am an alien. And apparently they are rendered mute since it's never returned, LOL.
This is the kind of thing I like about living here. Some of the "let's not make waves no matter is happening" is quite beyond me, especially when instead of asking for corrective action you know the customer is just gonna bad mouth the place. Why not give them the chance to make it right? That's the kind of thing that drives me crazy but it doesn't really happen that often.
Agreed.
And, FWIW, I *DO* Have a crazy alcoholic great-uncle whom I never even knew existed until my late teens and have never met. Only spoke to him once when he called on the phone about his brother (my grandfather) when I was taking care of my gfather (named, FWIW, "Boom Boom") during an illness. I could go on for days. But you's don't wanna hear about it
It wasn't that long ago, that I knew people who were recruited to come here for nursing jobs, with HUGE incentives. Now it sounds like that market is full. I know a few who moved from overseas to nurse in Duke/UNC systems. They were given $10,000 "signing bonuses" and paid moving expenses. It must have been very hard ot find experienced nurses then.
What was once thought to be the most stable work environment, healthcare, is turning. I've heard of quite a few in that field who have been through recent layoffs. Very unfortunate, since I've gone back to school to get into that field myself.
I can remember when there was a huge nursing shortage as well, bringing in people from the Phillippines, etc. Course maybe nurses just aren't changing jobs as frequently or maybe not retiring as early as in the past too. And when they do leave, maybe not replaced...just putting the burden on those that are left, like in other industries. Seems nursing has always been kind of hot and cold as far as jobs.
From what I've read the entire Triangle region has cooled off as far as jobs.
You might want to seek out a good career coach or counselor who can help you come up with a plan, package and market yourself in the area, and hold you accountable to the plan. What I picked up on in your post is the 15 years in the same job part ... searching for a job is a skill like nursing, and you're probably rusty at it. Plus the methods for job search have changed ... there was no LinkedIn 15 years ago, for example. Here are some career counselors in the Raleigh, Durham, and Chapel Hill areas:
You also might want to look for career networking meetups on meetup.com, and see if there's a county or city career assistance center (we have one here, and they offer resume and career search help as well as seminars on how to look for a job).
Regarding hospitality, I was born in Virginia, moved back to Virginia as an adult and also lived for five years in Chapel Hill. Yeah, there's weirdness under the surface ... that's part of what I find charming about the South. Plus, the South is no weirder than the frozen rednecks you find in northern New England up near the Canadian border ... you can move to some of those towns and live there for 50 years and you'll still be Those Newcomers (now I'll get flamed by the New Englanders out there ... it's a *joke*, guys!). I always found Southern culture very relational: they care where you're from, they care who your kin is, and whatever friendships you forge are as genuine as any human relationships can be. Up North, the first question people ask me is: whatu do? Down South, the first question is often: Where are you from?
Take the South for what it is without forcing your preconceptions on it, don't hang around with Yankees who spend all their time grousing about how backward Southerners are, and you'll do fine.
It wasn't that long ago, that I knew people who were recruited to come here for nursing jobs, with HUGE incentives. Now it sounds like that market is full. I know a few who moved from overseas to nurse in Duke/UNC systems. They were given $10,000 "signing bonuses" and paid moving expenses. It must have been very hard ot find experienced nurses then.
What was once thought to be the most stable work environment, healthcare, is turning. I've heard of quite a few in that field who have been through recent layoffs. Very unfortunate, since I've gone back to school to get into that field myself.
I'm not in nursing, I'm in allied health/rehabilitation, and I'm a fairly new graduate (about two years ago). I live in Raleigh, but work nearly an hour away. I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but jobs in my particular field appear to have dried up in Raleigh/Durham. I hear that there is more opportunity OUTSIDE of RDU, but in the Triangle there is very little. It's sad, because I, too, left a field and returned to school to train for what was supposed to be an "in-demand" field!
I'm sorry to hear of your problem. I'm an IT analyst and took a 30% cut in pay when moving from New Orleans to Raleigh in 1989 after a layoff. Had a job with paid relocation before moving.
Filed bankruptcy and later got a Federal job which had decent pay + good benefits.
You should get located in a reasonable time even though nursing has cooled off.
Hopefully, your family will do well here and this struggle will be just a bad memory like my layoff.
Wish you the best.
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