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My wife and I are considering relocating to Raleigh (yes, this is a cliche). We recently went to visit the Triangle area a few months ago and really really liked it. We really liked how the city was situated. There is a great deal of clean, modern construction but the old Southern touches can very easily be found. It's very green there and I was floored by how polite and warm the people there were (at times I was shocked,
pleasantly shocked of course).
My one concern is that it feels a little isolated there (to me at least as I come from a part of the country that has a lot of people and activity). My question then is, and perhaps people who have some experience with this might be best to answer this: do you feel isolated and disconnected in Raleigh after being there for a while? Would you recommend it for people who are used to living in a busy city?
Of course, everyone is different, but advice is always helpful.
This may sound like a bizarre question, but it is the only concern I am having about a potential move.
Location: River's Edge Inn, Todd NC, and Lorgues France
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AidanY
Hello Everyone,
My wife and I are considering relocating to Raleigh (yes, this is a cliche). We recently went to visit the Triangle area a few months ago and really really liked it. We really liked how the city was situated. There is a great deal of clean, modern construction but the old Southern touches can very easily be found. It's very green there and I was floored by how polite and warm the people there were (at times I was shocked,
pleasantly shocked of course).
My one concern is that it feels a little isolated there (to me at least as I come from a part of the country that has a lot of people and activity). My question then is, and perhaps people who have some experience with this might be best to answer this: do you feel isolated and disconnected in Raleigh after being there for a while? Would you recommend it for people who are used to living in a busy city?
Of course, everyone is different, but advice is always helpful.
This may sound like a bizarre question, but it is the only concern I am having about a potential move.
The Triangle generally, and Raleigh particularly, do not have good public transit, as has already been pointed out.
We also don't stay open 24/7.
If you WANT the hustle and bustle of a truly major metropolitan area, then our area is not for you.
I must admit I don't understand how someone becomes isolated in an area where folks are "polite and warm", but maybe coming from NZ is a different experience/phrase.
I think most people move to this area because they are looking for the low-key atmosphere it offers. If you are afraid you may miss some of the big city life, you probably will.
Anyhow, no, I don't think your question is bizarre at all (although ucctgg is reasonable in following-up with "isolated from what, specifically?"), but it probably is mostly unanswerable. As you say, everyone is different, and I think it's fair to say that wherever a person lives, whether or not they feel "connected" vs. "isolated" has a whole lot to do with their personality, their life circumstances, and the choices they make and actions they take. That said, clearly place does have some influence, and is probably worth at least considering. I've lived in Raleigh now for several years after having grown-up and lived my entire life to that point in bigger/busier cities. And yes, of course, there is a bit of a lifestyle adjustment that's required when one comes to Raleigh, but I think it's hardly insurmountable, I think it's diminishing markedly, and I think there's no particular reason it should result in you or anyone having to feel any more isolated than they either choose to or are predisposed to.
Personally, I don't feel isolated in Raleigh at all on the whole. There are good days and bad days, naturally, and moments of unease or discontent or disillusionment. But let us not forget how lonely and isolating big, busy cities can be at certain times and in certain ways as well. And to me, overall, Raleigh and the Triangle have a nice balance between big city bustle and small city community feel. But admittedly, a lot of that is subjective and individual. When I first came to Raleigh, I was a bit isolated, partly just because I was new in town and knew very few people nor very much about the place. Also, I initially lived out in the sprawling suburban fringes (which for better or worse make up a bigger proportion of this region than many other ones around the country), where the population density is pretty low, and a lot of the people there are either recent transplants or transients. That kind of lifestyle is (to me) intrinsically kind of isolating and lonesome and numbing, although granted lots of people seem to love it. For me, I found it helped a lot when I subsequently moved closer to Downtown, into a more established neighborhood with a real community, and that coincided with getting a lot more involved in activities around town, including the arts, special events, politics/activism, and other endeavors that brought more substantive interactions with individuals, groups, companies, and organizations, and also encouraged me to get off my ass and out of the house and out into the city and region, exploring more of the neighborhoods and geography and history of the area, and meeting and encountering lots of different people.
And so now I would say that I'm generally not any more isolated here than I want to be, and not any more than I was in bigger, busier cities. Again, that's certainly not to say that things are perfect, or that I'm never displeased living in Raleigh. There are definitely senses in which I might like to move somewhere else, and I may end up doing that at some point. But I really do like living in Raleigh and the Triangle, and I'm happy to live here as long as circumstances keep me here.
Everyone's brought up some interesting points to consider. I should have mentioned I am originally from California (don't hold that again me = ) but living in NZ at the present moment. What I mean by isolated is a lack of public life to my surroundings. Certainly one could move to New York and never feel isolated as there is so much going on there (locally and on the world stage), but that is an extreme case. I certainly do not want to live in New York, but I am looking to live in a place where there is activity outside, a feeling of community, people sharing space with others (and I don't mean the mall of course), an interconnection within the community. In that respect, how do you all feel about living there? I know that's a very broad question, but that's my intention. I really would like it for people to share their experience. I'm very curious actually as this is an important decision for us.
I'm not really sure I understand the phrase "a lack of public life to my surroundings". Can you rephrase/elaborate? I think you can find people out and about, but it definitely does not have the hustle and bustle of NYC or LA (I lived in LA for a short time).
I agree with Tom Pope that Raleigh is a pretty good mix of small town and big city. It's not either one, but right in the middle. We do get a vocal minority of folks primarily from the northeast who complain about the lack of "city living" in Raleigh and the surrounding communities. I don't recall California people making that complaint with the same frequency as Northeasterners, but that might just be my perception. Most of the transplants from either area seem fairly satisfied, but as chellemi808 said I think most people who are relocating from big cities are moving here expecting a slower pace of life.
(By the way, don't be concerned with saturnfan simply spouting off and bitching from a soapbox while not in any way even attempting to answer your questions or respond to what you wrote; if you read some of his or her other posts in this forum, you'll notice that's a tendency.)
Anyhow, no, I don't think your question is bizarre at all (although ucctgg is reasonable in following-up with "isolated from what, specifically?"), but it probably is mostly unanswerable. As you say, everyone is different, and I think it's fair to say that wherever a person lives, whether or not they feel "connected" vs. "isolated" has a whole lot to do with their personality, their life circumstances, and the choices they make and actions they take. That said, clearly place does have some influence, and is probably worth at least considering. I've lived in Raleigh now for several years after having grown-up and lived my entire life to that point in bigger/busier cities. And yes, of course, there is a bit of a lifestyle adjustment that's required when one comes to Raleigh, but I think it's hardly insurmountable, I think it's diminishing markedly, and I think there's no particular reason it should result in you or anyone having to feel any more isolated than they either choose to or are predisposed to.
Personally, I don't feel isolated in Raleigh at all on the whole. There are good days and bad days, naturally, and moments of unease or discontent or disillusionment. But let us not forget how lonely and isolating big, busy cities can be at certain times and in certain ways as well. And to me, overall, Raleigh and the Triangle have a nice balance between big city bustle and small city community feel. But admittedly, a lot of that is subjective and individual. When I first came to Raleigh, I was a bit isolated, partly just because I was new in town and knew very few people nor very much about the place. Also, I initially lived out in the sprawling suburban fringes (which for better or worse make up a bigger proportion of this region than many other ones around the country), where the population density is pretty low, and a lot of the people there are either recent transplants or transients. That kind of lifestyle is (to me) intrinsically kind of isolating and lonesome and numbing, although granted lots of people seem to love it. For me, I found it helped a lot when I subsequently moved closer to Downtown, into a more established neighborhood with a real community, and that coincided with getting a lot more involved in activities around town, including the arts, special events, politics/activism, and other endeavors that brought more substantive interactions with individuals, groups, companies, and organizations, and also encouraged me to get off my ass and out of the house and out into the city and region, exploring more of the neighborhoods and geography and history of the area, and meeting and encountering lots of different people.
And so now I would say that I'm generally not any more isolated here than I want to be, and not any more than I was in bigger, busier cities. Again, that's certainly not to say that things are perfect, or that I'm never displeased living in Raleigh. There are definitely senses in which I might like to move somewhere else, and I may end up doing that at some point. But I really do like living in Raleigh and the Triangle, and I'm happy to live here as long as circumstances keep me here.
Good luck!
Ah, very good post, thank you. This is very helpful. I will really consider your advice. Much appreciated.
I'm not really sure I understand the phrase "a lack of public life to my surroundings". Can you rephrase/elaborate? I think you can find people out and about, but it definitely does not have the hustle and bustle of NYC or LA (I lived in LA for a short time).
I agree with Tom Pope that Raleigh is a pretty good mix of small town and big city. It's not either one, but right in the middle. We do get a vocal minority of folks primarily from the northeast who complain about the lack of "city living" in Raleigh and the surrounding communities. I don't recall California people making that complaint with the same frequency as Northeasterners, but that might just be my perception. Most of the transplants from either area seem fairly satisfied, but as chellemi808 said I think most people who are relocating from big cities are moving here expecting a slower pace of life.
I guess what I mean by that is life outside of people's home and places of work. In San Francisco, where I had lived for a time, there was a lot of community activity. Though the city was big, there was a lot of interconnection. There were lots of public venues, and people could relate to one another because there was a sense of community, and things happening outside that everyone knew about. Contrast that with Southern California, where there's lots of people, put people were off driving around everywhere, stuck in their little bubbles, acting, in many ways, quite narcissistically.
My impression of Raleigh was very positive, but I was just there for a few days so I don't have an insight that people who have been there for years have.
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