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My family and I are heavily considering relocating to the Raleigh-Durham area. We have done our research and plan on taking a trip out there, but I might have a job offer next week before we can get out there. The area has everything we are looking for and for me personally, I've lived in so many places that I can make anywhere home. My one concern is that we are a non-traditional family (two women) and are not religious - do not attend church and don't want to. I am afraid that we might face some backlash if you will and I honestly don't care what your religious preferences are, but if you are pushy it's really irritating. How much truth is there to people asking you first thing "which church do you belong to?" and the like. I could answer a question like that, but is it then followed by, "oh how dare you not go to church, come to our service Sunday etc. etc."
You will be OK.
We have a healthy population of knuckleheads of all stripe and demographic, but nothing really out of the ordinary for the US.
I would encourage you to relocate to an urban or semi-urban area, however.
You won't have any problems. It will be a non issue if you live in Raleigh, Cary or some other transplant heavy location. I doubt anyone will even ask the question...they may invite to their church, but there won't be any pushy follow-up. In a more rural area you may asked more about the issue, but I really doubt even then anyone will be pushy about it.
Have been here 15 yrs and never been asked. Am Jewish, so no church for us. That said, there is a different flavor of things here than where I grew up (a very Roman Catholic community in the Northeast). By & large, stuff doesn't happen on Sunday mornings and the grocery stores are empty then (best time to shop!)...because CHURCH. And Crossroads Ford has commercials every Easter on tv to let everyone know they'll be closed Good Friday and then they preach the Good News for the next 30 seconds. People might publicly pray at a work thing, or you might be treated to a rendition of Happy Birthday Jesus from a soloist before the start of the chorus concert at school.
This topic has been covered here before. It's a liberal area with people of many faiths. You will not be ostracized because of it. But it's the South, and you'll see plenty of Keep Christ in Christmas magnets on the cars in December!
No worries, especially in the more urban/suburban areas. Does this mean you will never one single time here a homophobic slur? Of course, not, but you get more of that on TV coming from political candidates than you're likely to hear in person.
I'm gay and a native of the area, and it's changed a lot. We do have neighbors 2 doors down who are apparently "Bible-thumpers" and my husband and I have noticed that they (especially the husband) will not acknowledge us as they walk their dogs past the house, even when we wave (she will usually wave lightly). But they don't bother us or say anything, live and let live.
so yes, the South is much more "religious" than many areas (you don't say exactly where you're coming from, but I'm guessing maybe the West Coast since you say "out there" instead of "down there"?). and, by no means are all churches homophobic. I know lots of gay people who grew up in the rural South and church is still very important to them, and there are any number of mainstream denominations, never mind "liberal" churches, that are very accepting and even work for social justice on LGBT issues specifically (but are not "gay" congregations).
I guess I will be the detractor here and say that the level of religiosity in the area was something that bothered me (I just moved away... not for that reason though, it wasn't that bad, ha!). It wasn't that people were super pushy or judgmental. It was more so that many aspects of people's lives seemed to center on their church, and it was usually taken for granted that you were Christian too. For example, most local preschools are church-based, most parents had their kids in Christian activities, social lives revolved around people from church, etc. And then there were things such as hearing about a fitness group (or book club, or mom's group, or whatever)... and then the person finally mentioning that it's church-oriented. I didn't find most strangers to be obnoxious about it, but I also gotta say I'm not a fan of being told to "have a blessed day" by the clerks at the grocery store. There were also several times I went to the website of a local business and was surprised to see religious writings or Christian-based mission statements (had this happen with a swim school, consignment sale, and some sort of construction contractor); not that that is a deal-breaker, but seemed really weird to me.
All in all, it wasn't terrible as far as religion went, but it was a very different atmosphere than I grew up with and one that at times made me uncomfortable.
Been here 11 years and have never been asked once about anything religious. Every major religion in the world has some representation here, which probably decreases the chance of being asked further because nobody will know what, if any religion you subscribe to.
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