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I have not heard that about graduates, and in my experience it doesn't ring true, at least for NC State folk (UNC and Duke may be much different, with Chapel Hill being a small college town and Duke having so many out of state students). I've been here since moving here for college in the 80s and the majority of my friends from college are still in the area. I always really enjoyed living in the Triangle, even when there was less to do back in my single days of going out often. There were enough places to go out to break up any monotony, but not so many that you didn't run into familiar faces often. When I lived in Boston for a year on a work assignment, I was surprised by how I'd go to the same place a few times and never see the same people. Made it harder to make friends, imo.
What you are describing to me just sounds like the typical case of getting older and your friends are getting married and settling down. You end up having to make new friends that are also older and single. I have a lot of single friends that are in their mid-to-late 40s and early 50s, though. A few have never been married, but most are divorced and have started going out again, making new friends. I routinely run into these friends when I head out to see a band at Slims/Pour House/Kings, or go to have a drink at Landmark or one of the local brewery taprooms.
I'm almost 30, married to a 37yo. I was born just south of Boston, but have lived here for over 20 years. Went to college here, started a family here and absolutely love it here. My husband and I have quite a few friends (38 and up) who are single without children who love this area too. Try visiting meetup.com. There is something for everyone. My husband is a member of an Eagles meetup group and attends a lot of the local bottle-shares by himself.
I moved here 5 months ago, I'm 25 (about to turn 26), and I've been meeting people left and right. And I moved here not knowing a soul. This is definitely a family-friendly city, but nowhere near to the extent people hype it up to be. You can be single here and meet loads of people. Perhaps it's different for someone in their 40's though.
Yes if I had moved here when I was 25, I'm sure it would be a very different experience. When you're that age, almost everyone is unmarried and looking to go out and do things, frequently. People throw a lot of parties, hang out in bars, you're always doing getting invited places.
Eventually, as the years pass, more and more people will pair off and get married, or find long term relationships. Then the babies start coming. By the time you get into your late thirties, almost everyone you know is married and has kids, or at least is living with someone. This changes your social life dramatically.
People begin to orbit around their new families - kids, in laws, parents, siblings & their children, other friends with kids. Their emotional needs are completely met by this network of people, and they don't need close confidante style friendships in the same way anymore. If you somehow end up, through choice or circumstance, single at this age, without children, it can make your life difficult and lonely in ways it never used to be before.
I never noticed my age or cared about not being married, and not having kids, until I got down here from the Big City, and figured out that that's the social landscape for most thirtysomething and fortysomething Americans - family and raising children.
m378, I read in another thread that they tend to NOT stay in the area (someone was comparing the trend to Austin, where graduates DO tend to remain). I don't know if this is true, but the person was sharing the info as though it was.
I have to disagree with this. I grew up here, but almost everyone I know who's from NC (which is more than half) and lives in the Triangle came here for college and never left, because it was a lot better than their Podunk small town (which comprise a LOT of NC).
If you are looking for Childfree socializing, there's a group I believe is still active called Raleigh No Kidding, comprised of adults with no desire to have kids. I think they have a weekly Happy Hour and get together to do all kinds of outings. Their web page seems to be down, but I can hook you up with the chapter leaders if you're interested. There also might be Meetup groups if you search under "Childfree", which is generally preferred to "Childless", the latter implying that something is "missing".
All these colleges in the area would make it a great place to be single I think !
You missed the point of the original post. It's not about whether the Triangle is easy to be single (hey that rhymed!) if you're college age. Of course it is! There's three major universities here.
It's about whether it's hard for people who are single and child-free and older (late thirties and up) to not be bored and lonely here, as it seems so family oriented.
Part of what you experiencing is also just moving to a new city when you are in single in your 40s. Someone that has lived here for 25 years moving to Boston may experience a lot of the same feelings.
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