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Truth be told, we were trying to do everything right for her, so she didn't have to move to yet another school (nursery to pre-k to kindergarten etc.); I think that's hard for little ones!
We have moved several times on corporate relo's between my son's K and 3rd grade, including an extra year in Transitional First Grade (best decision we ever made). My advice will be that your child will be just fine, if and this is a VERY BIG IF, you don't make a big deal about it around the house, and get all stressed out. Parents making things a big deal, turn into kids making it a big deal. While I would not recommend as many changes as we've done, it has resulted in our son having great skills at making friends, and adapting to new environments.
The little creatures seem to sense parent stress pretty well :-)
I am saying this in the nicest tone possible (hard to convey over the internet) - I know this seems HUGE right now, but you're probably lumping it in with all the other moving stuff and so maybe it seems magnified.
Your child four. Four years old. She isn't going to remember this, at least not as a big deal. That is, unless you make it one. And I can assure you, putting her thru testing, that may or may not pan out, and wringing your hands over the situation, WILL be what affects her. She thinks she's going to kindergarten? "Sweetie, guess what? In NC instead of being one of the youngest in Kindergarten, you're going to start NEXT year and be one of the oldest! We have a fabulous place for you to spend the in-between year and the best part is I get to spend a whole extra year with you in our new home, getting to know the parks, the library and meeting kids in our new neighborhood!"
In 10 years you'll be glad you had an extra year with her. And if she does test into kindy, I guarantee there will at least one point next year where you wish you hadn't.
Your children being a year apart and not academically similar is neither here nor there. They are in different grades - period. I have twins, one was gangbusters till 3rd grade and it's been downhill every since. The other one, who hated school in kindy and could not be cajoled into attempting to read, is turning into our academic superstar.
I completely understand your points! I am trying to wrap my head around this because in the end I just want to do what is right for my daughter, it's one of those big parenting decisions I didn't think I needed to think about . I started reading the other thread on red shirting, and there are so many viewpoints for both sides, it's a tough decision!!! Especially since I really never even contemplated doing this, I always figured she will enter in the year she falls based on the cutoff. But then somehow neglected to realize the cutoff there is so different
And I hear you on the testing piece, that isn't very appealing to me. It looks like they are structured so they are difficult to pass - in that you need to score at 98% percentile in both aptitude and achievement tests (no matter how smart a 4 year old is, that is difficult!).
We have moved several times on corporate relo's between my son's K and 3rd grade, including an extra year in Transitional First Grade (best decision we ever made). My advice will be that your child will be just fine, if and this is a VERY BIG IF, you don't make a big deal about it around the house, and get all stressed out. Parents making things a big deal, turn into kids making it a big deal. While I would not recommend as many changes as we've done, it has resulted in our son having great skills at making friends, and adapting to new environments.
The little creatures seem to sense parent stress pretty well :-)
Very reassuring to hear someone who went through it so many times come out so well!
on another note, it's quite common for new construction to have delays. So it's entirely possible that you won't even have moved into your new home prior to school starting for the year - that's on top of the logistical difficulties of trying to do the early admission testing when you don't live there. My guess would be that they require the testing to be done well in advance of the school year starting, so they know whether or not they need a spot for that child.
Your child missed by 17 days. My middle child missed by 20 hours! I even got pregnant a certain month knowing I would be due something like five weeks before the cut-off date (I am such a planner). And then, while I was pregnant, they changed the date on me!! The whole last week of August I kept telling people, "Get this baby out of me by the 31st!" Acupuncture, Castor Oil, and a little help from the midwife didn't work, and my sweet Archie was born the afternoon of the 1st. Oh well. God knew what was best, and I got an extra year with my joy!
My third (the princess after two boys) just turned five this January and will be going to kindergarten next year. She's my baby and I'd love to be able to have her another year! As they say, the days are long, but the years are short. You said you plan on moving to be able to spend more time with your wee one, well maybe this change in cutoff date is a little coincidence to help you get that time.
And yes, kindergarten now is nooooo fun. Worksheets, worksheets, worksheets. Bleh. I wouldn't want a four-year-old of any maturity to have to endure seven hours a day of that.
Has anyone in the thread mentioned tracks yet? Does Bella Casa go to Olive Chapel Elementary? If so, know that school starts in July (when in July depends on which track you get) and your daughter will have missed the easier beginning part of kindergarten, when they ease them into it.
I really would try not to overthink it. When you're moving, you're under so much stress, that it almost feels like the best thing to do is stress about EVERYTHING. You can start questioning every decision you make. I really think that if she ends up with that extra year, you will look back and be happy about it and like I said, there is so much to do here with little kids, that you will be happy you had all that time to explore with your kids without the pressure of school in the way. I can tell you for sure you won't regret missing another year of homework battles!
You have to test in. There are over 100,000 students in Wake County Public Schools, if they made an exception for every kid born in September, that would be a helluva lot of kids. I think in your heart of hearts you know this - if your kid's b'day was December 15 then you know your NY school would not let them in.
And most of the other kids - probably 99% of them - have been to school or daycare as well, and I can pretty much guarantee you that if your child can't test in, she is better off waiting the year. Kindergarten is not what it once was. It's not even what it was 10 years ago when my oldest started. They are expected to be able to sit still and work for the entire day, save recess and lunch. They assessments - not just once or twice a year, but more like weekly. The vast majority of kids, even the smartest ones, struggle with how academic it is now. As a fellow Long Islander, I'm sure you're thinking your kid has a leg up. Trust me - they don't. Let her have the year. You won't be sorry.
We also started in NY. My daughter was born on August 31. She was among the youngest in her class even in NY, because so many people there opted to keep their boys back, even if they met the cutoff!!!
Now in NC, my daughter is definitely younger than her classmates. It shows a lot. She's got a very high IQ, but some attention issues that have made her academic progress haphazard at best. Nobody questioned the notion that she wasn't academically ready for K, but emotionally it has definitely been hard for her.
I worked in a Wake County Elementary school for a while. Twingles is right. The days are very long. They spend a lot of time marching around silently in a line and waiting their turn for things. There is no advantage to entering K when you are not 5 years old. Send her to a good Montessori preschool and enjoy the extra year.
Thales Academy is in Apex and my co-worker sent her 4 year old daughter to Kindergarten there. It is an option and then you can make a decision...
I do know parents that have passed the early testing in Wake Co.
The cut off here used to be October 15th. My middle son's birthday was October 25 and it seemed like FOREVER before he started Kindergarten..So I was super happy when I was pregnant with my 3rd and he was due September 25th. He ended up being born October 4th - still made the cut off.......BUT....that year, they changed the cut off to August 31st.
As others have said, it was lovely having that extra year home with him...and both boys love being the "older" kids and grasping things quickly. And my daughter (December birthday) was one of the earlier kids to get her drivers license which has been nice too..So there are definite advantages to being an older kid (once you get older). It's been great for sports too for my son to be taller and bigger..
But I do "get it" when your kid is all ready for K and then told that they have to wait another year....
And Bella Cassa is a great neighborhood! Congrats on the new home.
Another recommendation for Thales in Apex. Our younger daughter has a late October birthday and we started her there when she was still 4 (i.e., she would not have made the cutoff for public school). Many other kids at Thales have done the same thing. My daughter has flourished both academically and socially--I have no regrets about having started her early.
Trust yourself--if you know that your daughter is ready for K, then it's worth seriously considering all the options for starting early.
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. I started reading the other thread on red shirting, and there are so many viewpoints for both sides, it's a tough decision!!! Especially since I really never even contemplated doing this, I always figured she will enter in the year she falls based on the cutoff. But then somehow neglected to realize the cutoff there is so different 
