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My husband and I are trying to buy our first house and having a very hard time making decisions about whether or not to offer on the houses we view. We never had any problems deciding about rentals, and pretty much knew right away when looking at a place if we wanted to apply to rent it or not and have always happy with our choices in the many rentals we've lived in (except once where there were some extenuating circumstances). But since renting is a lot less permanent of a situation, the stakes aren't as high so I guess that maybe makes decision making easier than it is for buying a house.
What's been most people's experience here? Do you buy a house that has the important things on your list, is a price you can afford and in a decent neighborhood even if you don't feel much emotion or affinity for it or do you wait and hope that something will hit the market that really resonates with you?
We are looking in neighborhoods that we've never lived in so we aren't as familiar with them as we would be if it were our current or past neighborhoods. We are making an effort to visit the various neighborhoods frequently so we will be familiar and comfortable when the time comes.
I really appreciate any input. It's actually getting so frustrating that I feel like calling off the search!
Emotion certainly plays a much bigger role in home purchase than rental -- the "committment thing" kicks in big time for most people!
That said the sort of "emotion" you should look for is not necessarily the "resonance"'that you may be seeking but rather a more "internal" kind of thing -- you need to have not just a checklist of stuff like count of bedrooms or distance from grocery store or ease of commute, or good schools, safe streets, nice parks BUT "the next stage of our life, that will likely last 5-7 years so that we don't screw-up our finances, will be enhanced by having a home gives us X that we really could not get by renting"...
Even if you hammer that out there is STILL a strong possibility that you might have "buyer's remorse" over a few things that are not "deal killers" like a bathroom that has funky colored fixtures or yard that is seriously overgrown, but if the place fits the others emotions you will have the basis to tackle the stuff that comes up.
We bought our first house in two days -- we were moving across the country, and the new employer was giving a generous signing bonus. Time for a house! However, we had to find one THAT WEEKEND that we went to search, for various reasons having to do with the relo package we had. We gave our recommended agent specific instructions, must-haves and nice-to-haves, and she set up showings for 12 different houses over the course of two days (before internet, when you only had the MLS book with one bad black-and-white picture in it for each listing). At the end of the second day, we picked the one we liked the best and put an offer in on it. Done deal. Four years later, we built a house in another area -- cool house, on a lake, with a pool, etc.. Two years after that, we ended up moving again due to a job change. :-( But we've been in our house now for 25 years -- I fell in love with it just driving by, and found out that it was going up for sale the next day. Still in love with it. :-)
Thanks Chet. That is good advice and we are trying to remember to picture ourselves some years out into the future when we look at homes and try to evaluate if they seem like they will fit us in the longer term. That's actually been one of the more helpful things to think about in trying to make a decision.
Dblackga, wow you made a decision so quickly and easily. I wish I could do that! I envy you!
Maybe it's hard for us too because we've been wanting to buy for so many years, now that we finally can, we don't want to screw it up. And we are buying in a strong seller's market with high prices, so we don't want to get stuck in a bad situation later down the line. The recession and housing bust and seeing prices drop so far from bubble highs definitely is on our minds.
So, overall opinions: Is it a good idea to wait till you feel like you've found "the one" or just go with one that seems good, you like it well enough, and won't kill the budget?
I think that if you are THIS uncertain, you should wait.
I agree with MrRational that you should have a couple of favorite neighborhoods at this point. That was always my guiding requirement. I would never have moved into a part of town I hated just because I fell in "love" with a house.
So rather than focusing on a house checklist, I would spend time in certain neighborhoods that have features you like. Study the growth patterns, traffic, amenities like shopping, recreation, etc. Hopefully it has an aesthetic that appeals to you as well.
The last time we looked to move, I was much more fluid with my house requirements because I wanted a certain neighborhood so badly. I knew that over the years, I could change the house to my liking. Once you narrow down your 'hood, then take a look at the housing stock and trends. Hopefully there is an element of magic that comes over you when you find a certain house, but if it's not there at least a little bit right now, keep looking.
Above all, remember that there is NO PERFECT HOUSE, or else you will set yourself up for constant second-guessing.
Every neighborhood is gonna have some trade-offs and quite literally every house, even brand news that are custom built to your specifications are going to have some things that disappoint you.
Generally it is a whole lot easier to "fix" things that you don't like about a particular house than it is "fix" issues with location -- narrow down the location to like top two or so, focus on homes both that you can afford AND have so e potential for "fixing up". If you have a lease expiring set a realistic timeline to either be closing on ONE house or getting a new lease.
Waiting "for lighting to strike, harps to play, and the clouds to part" when you step into "THE" house is magical thinking and NOT the way to really make progress.
I had clients last year where the husband just couldn't wrap his head around paying $200K for something. The wife would love a house, and he would think of every reason not to like it. He had rented so long, and he didn't want to just buy anything. Our market is tough so the wife was upset she was missing out on everything.
Then, on New Years Day last year, a brand new listing hit the market. Not many people looking on New Years Day so we were the only ones, and he finally wrapped his head around the cost. He realized it was cheaper than renting, and he wasn't going to be told by a landlord what he could do with the walls and colors and such. They bought the house.
Basically, it sounds like you're still not ready to buy. You need to realize not every house is going to have all your "wants" and you should be concentrating on your "needs". You will move to the next house in a few years that has more "wants". Until you can afford no budget, you will always need to compromise on your wants. You can't look at houses constantly thinking that there will be a "better" one next week.
Most people move within 5 to 7 yrs after buying their first home, that might help with the whole idea of it feeling permanent. Of course you want to buy something within your means and how it will fit your needs for a specific time. Are the homes you are looking at occupied? This might be a factor when looking. Most rentals are usually empty, could the owner's stuff throwing you off? Sometimes people overly pack their homes and it can be hard to visualize the rooms or what it would be like living there. Look past bad decor, that can always be changed.
My criteria was always location first. Sound easy enough until you start looking at homes that are redone nicely but in a not so great location. It is enticing to go with the looks. Keep firm on a good location. Its the one thing you can't change. When my husband and I bought our first house together. I knew I wanted a 3 bedroom. My husband actually owned a small house when I met him that was only 500 sft. So it was like living in a tiny apt. I knew I wanted some room. The problem was most of the homes in our targeted area and in our budget were only 2 bedrooms. Our realtor showed us an estate sale that wasn't even on the market yet. A 3 bedroom and I was stoked until I walked in the door.
Nothing inside had been updated in forever. Wall to wall orange shag carpet. It was also very dirty. The kitchen was horrible and so was the bathroom. My realtor was brilliant. She pointed out how all the major stuff had been done. Roof, HVAC, plumbing. All I had to do was change the decor. I still wasn't sold. The house was ugly as sin. It was the only 3 bedroom in our price range and after encouragement, we went for it. I will be honest, I wasn't all that excited at closing. Once we got the keys, we tore up the orange shag to discover the most amazing hardwood floors. THEN I got excited. Super excited. I tore out the bathroom carpet as well to discover beautiful vintage tile floors in awesome condition. Just tearing up the old flooring and repainting gave the house a new life. The house was really dark with heavy drapes so after we pulled that down, we started to realize what a fantastic deal we really did get.
So keep that in mind while looking. Look for a home that is solid with good bones. Then make it your own. I am very fond of estate sales. We bought two over the years. The older generations spend the money where it counts and generally are the best with keeping up on the maintenance of a home. They have experience and know the ins and outs of keeping a home up. They don't get bogged down by having updated everything like the younger generations do. So what you get is a solid home that just needs some decor updates.
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