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I bought my house last year; flew from one state to another while my husband was deployed and had 48 hours to find a house to buy for my family by myself. Talk about stress! Ultimately, I focused on the schools I wanted my kids to go, which neighborhood I could picture us in, and the house had to be in our price range with "potential". I ended up buying a 1960's rancher from the original owners. It had the basic bones but little else going for it. I left emotion out of my decision; as long as the house had potential, I knew I could make it mine. So my advice is make sure you like the neighborhood and the basic layout of the house; don't get caught up in everything being perfect. Nothing is going to be perfect, you will find something wrong with every house. Find your neighborhood and find whatever remotely decent house you can afford in it.
When driving up to the house you have to say this area looks good I like the area. When you stop in front of the house you have to be impressed, almost say wow this looks nice. When you walk in the house it has to have the wow factor. If you start saying well this might work, or we could do this, maybe we can, etc. then walk away.
Thanks so much for your advice. If the above is a good gauge to go by then it helps a lot. There are a lot of houses where we've felt like well it's fine, it could work. It's hard to know sometimes if we should pass them by. But looking back I don't think we regret passing any of those by so it seems that was the right choice.
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Originally Posted by johngolf
If comfortable with the asking price, then put an offer in. Make it conditional on financing if needed but mainly conditional on inspection and appraisal. You need an out if the inspection turns up problems and/or the place does not appraise as high or lower then your offer.
Do not get in a bidding war. You have waited and can wait. Do not get into a situation where you will be house poor. Set your expectation on your ability to afford it, not your desires.
So where I am there are definitely bidding wars as pretty much the norm, homes are selling for a lot over asking, in many cases people are waiving all contingencies (doing an inspection before offering so they can waive that contingency) and prices seem to be continually rising. This all adds to the stress of this process and when passing up homes, especially since it can be hard to not worry about prices rising and getting priced out of the market in our area.
We do keep getting the urge to push our budget higher and higher, thinking well if pay just a bit more we can be in a better, more convenient, area etc. But the reality is I think you're right and we should stay at a comfortable price and not make life too hard for ourselves for the next potentially up to 30 years by having to pay a price every month that is just uncomfortably tight for our budget. Part of it is hard because we can't afford the neighborhoods we want and are used to, so in a way it all feels like it will be settling so far. Once we really decide on our neighborhood for sure hopefully it will feel better.
In my experience, it's true that you do just "know" when you find it (unless you are under other pressure to make a decision based on a limited choice, which you aren't). But for me knowing it's "the one" doesn't necessarily mean you will fall in love or be super emotional about it. I think it's a level of comfort with the house, and as some have mentioned above, being able to picture yourself living in it. You "know" it will work for you. And it doesn't always happen the moment you walk in, as someone else mentioned. Sometimes you turn a few houses over in your mind for a few days, and you think, "you know, that one with the big back yard keeps coming back to me..." Or whatever.
The last two houses we've bought (and we're pretty experienced, over the years, with real estate) did not fit our basic parameters in major ways. For our primary home, which we bought about a week before we were to break ground on my dream home, I absolutely had to have a two story with all bedrooms on one floor. I am really particular about the floor plan flow. This house is not the style I want, and bedrooms are all over the place. The floorplan is truly funky. But the location and the acreage were something we couldn't pass up, and when the price dropped significantly, we just couldn't justify building anymore. We snapped it up. We've made some changes that make me feel more comfortable with the house, but there are some things I just live with in exchange for the location.
Our vacation home is 200 sf smaller than what we had decided our very lowest limit would be--and size matters in this case as we have a large family and will have visitors. I wanted something with some local style, but ended up buying a very cookie cutter house in a very cookie-cutter section of the development. But the house felt right, had the major features we wanted, was clean and move-in ready, and the price was at the very low end of our range. We knew it was a practical choice and could picture ourselves in it.
So it's not necessarily an excitement or emotional kind of knowing, depending on your personality. It might just be a peacefulness.
The good news is that if you buy within your budget (your actual budget, not what the bank is willing to lend you), a house doesn't have to be a lifetime commitment. The stakes aren't as high as we sometimes make them out to be. You can sell it, you can get something else. So buy something that works well, "feels" right to you, has some flexibility to accommodate changes in your lifestyle, and is likely to hold its value.
Thanks for this. My husband and I had wondered about that excitement thing. It could be our personalities are just a way that we may not have that excitement feeling but maybe more the peacefulness you describe. Or maybe we will get the excitement feeling too.
It's interesting you got something very different than what you expected for your vacation house but still something that worked well for you. So for your house that has a layout different than what you wanted, you still feel it was a good choice, right? You're happy with it, since you're in the area you want, got a good price, and were able to change some things to suit your needs?
We're working on figuring out our desired neighborhood and even "micro" neighborhood now, based on the advice I got here. We are also trying to narrow down one or two must haves vs. want to haves that have to do with neighborhood. I feel like once we figure that out, we will be a lot closer to finally finding the right place. Figuring out the neighborhood is actually pretty hard since we can't afford the ones we really would like and there are some others we like and can afford but aren't necessarily that safe. We also finally came to what I think will be a good price that we will stick with as our max. Before we kept changing our max price based on the houses we saw. So I feel we are getting closer and the advice here has been really helpful with that.
About the stakes, they still feel somewhat scary to me because of the high prices here recently. We will be buying at basically bubble prices where we live and having seen how that played out here before, it's somewhat scary!
Wow, looking at the prospect of a bidding war as a sure thing does ratchet up the stress level. Maybe it would help to look at houses that are a bit toward the low end of your price range? To leave some room for the escalating price... But then you are getting fewer of the features you want, I get that.
I am very much a home-body and I get very attached to my ideas of what home should be, so it was not small thing to give up the floorplan I'd been living in inside my head for years and move into this house which is pretty, but seriously oddly laid out. I had to put the emotion of it aside a bit, and be practical. That could have backfired, but I don't regret it. It was a great value, it has plenty of space for all my family members (7 of us including Grandma ) and is in a beautiful spot. We have made some changes that make it feel more like "mine."
Even though this is probably our forever home, where the kids will bring my grandkids to visit, I would do it again. One factor that makes that easier, though, is that I'm from a smallish town where there aren't a whole lot of options for homes with style, and virtually none of the large center-hall colonial I would have built. Having loads of options, like we had when buying our vacation home in Phoenix, makes it HARDER! lol. You are always thinking of the next thing that might be out there...
Having a target neighborhood helps with that so much, as does having a great realtor who is watching the hotsheet every day in your target area, but is aware enough of your wish list to keep an eye on other homes slightly outside the favored neighborhood as well.
It feels like such a rush situation in a hot market. Some people just can't stand the stress and will do anything, including overpay, to be done with the process. For other buyers, once you've been through it once and possibly lost the deal to someone else (or because of inspection issues, etc.) they chill out a little and realize it'll happen when it should. That sounds really trite but honestly I can say all my buyers who have lost out on a house and then moved on to another feel like they ended up in the right place for them after all.
Wow, looking at the prospect of a bidding war as a sure thing does ratchet up the stress level. Maybe it would help to look at houses that are a bit toward the low end of your price range? To leave some room for the escalating price... But then you are getting fewer of the features you want, I get that.
I am very much a home-body and I get very attached to my ideas of what home should be, so it was not small thing to give up the floorplan I'd been living in inside my head for years and move into this house which is pretty, but seriously oddly laid out. I had to put the emotion of it aside a bit, and be practical. That could have backfired, but I don't regret it. It was a great value, it has plenty of space for all my family members (7 of us including Grandma ) and is in a beautiful spot. We have made some changes that make it feel more like "mine."
Even though this is probably our forever home, where the kids will bring my grandkids to visit, I would do it again. One factor that makes that easier, though, is that I'm from a smallish town where there aren't a whole lot of options for homes with style, and virtually none of the large center-hall colonial I would have built. Having loads of options, like we had when buying our vacation home in Phoenix, makes it HARDER! lol. You are always thinking of the next thing that might be out there...
Having a target neighborhood helps with that so much, as does having a great realtor who is watching the hotsheet every day in your target area, but is aware enough of your wish list to keep an eye on other homes slightly outside the favored neighborhood as well.
It feels like such a rush situation in a hot market. Some people just can't stand the stress and will do anything, including overpay, to be done with the process. For other buyers, once you've been through it once and possibly lost the deal to someone else (or because of inspection issues, etc.) they chill out a little and realize it'll happen when it should. That sounds really trite but honestly I can say all my buyers who have lost out on a house and then moved on to another feel like they ended up in the right place for them after all.
Yup, each time we've bought a house, my husband and I said, "Thank goodness our offer on X house (or offers on X and Y houses) were rejected!"
In my experience, if you realize you're trying to talk yourself into being happy with the house, it isn't "the one." But if you recognize the compromise(s) (because there will always be a compromise with every house unless you custom-build it), and don't care, it's "the one."
If your real estate agent tells you the house is properly priced, and you don't hesitate to make a full-price offer, it's "the one."
What's been most people's experience here? Do you buy a house that has the important things on your list, is a price you can afford and in a decent neighborhood even if you don't feel much emotion or affinity for it or do you wait and hope that something will hit the market that really resonates with you?
You have to hit the 'sweet spot'.
Start with the things that you would ideally want to have, but be realistic about what you can and cannot afford. A good formula for measuring costs is to take what you are currently willing to spend on a rental and go from there. A fiscally-sound purchase should be better than what you'd pay in rent for a comparable unit. Keep in mind that you need to do all the math: the mortgage, the property taxes, the homeowners insurance, water/sewerage, electricity, and so forth (HOA fees in some cases). Run a spread sheet and add it all up.
Once you've done that, you need to think about the condition of the house itself. You will probably want to upgrade the house, and you'll have to know what your upgrade costs are going to be, and what will get you the most bang for the buck. Don't over-do it with renovations. Don't buy the most expensive materials, especially with things like the bathrooms. The baths, kitchens, and floors are going to get you the most money back, but again, not if you splurge. The bottom line is, you wanna sell the house, hope it appreciates without having sunk too much into it.
The most important thing is to do your homework. Know yourself what the comps are for a house. Know what you should be paying. Get your realtor to show you the MLS values of homes of similar size and quality. Know the price per square foot in your desired area and look on zillow and MLS to see how those numbers are factored when taking the quality and modernity of homes into consideration. This is crucial. Without doing this, you risk over-paying. Know your price and stick to your guns.
Start with the things that you would ideally want to have, but be realistic about what you can and cannot afford. A good formula for measuring costs is to take what you are currently willing to spend on a rental and go from there. A fiscally-sound purchase should be better than what you'd pay in rent for a comparable unit. Keep in mind that you need to do all the math: the mortgage, the property taxes, the homeowners insurance, water/sewerage, electricity, and so forth (HOA fees in some cases). Run a spread sheet and add it all up.
Once you've done that, you need to think about the condition of the house itself. You will probably want to upgrade the house, and you'll have to know what your upgrade costs are going to be, and what will get you the most bang for the buck. Don't over-do it with renovations. Don't buy the most expensive materials, especially with things like the bathrooms. The baths, kitchens, and floors are going to get you the most money back, but again, not if you splurge. The bottom line is, you wanna sell the house, hope it appreciates without having sunk too much into it.
The most important thing is to do your homework. Know yourself what the comps are for a house. Know what you should be paying. Get your realtor to show you the MLS values of homes of similar size and quality. Know the price per square foot in your desired area and look on zillow and MLS to see how those numbers are factored when taking the quality and modernity of homes into consideration. This is crucial. Without doing this, you risk over-paying. Know your price and stick to your guns.
We will definitely be paying more to buy than we do in rent if we buy right now, and that's even after putting a good amount down. Then again we rent an apartment but plan to buy a house. With a house we'll have things we don't have now like 2 car parking, our own laundry, and no shared walls. I can't wait to have all of those things. But I think overall we'll still end up paying more to buy than to stay in our rental even after taking into account those added benefits, especially once you factor putting money down also. If I knew prices would drop in the next couple years, I'd consider waiting but there are no guarantees. For all I know they might just keep going up and up.
Still there are multiple bids on most of the desirable properties here, there is a chance of overpaying since you really have to guess what the house will end up going for, so many times it's so far off from the asking price. I definitely learned that I should do my own evaluation of comps too and not just rely on the agent because at times houses sold lower than the agent thought it would. Prices keep rising, and sometimes there aren't a lot of recent comparable sales, so comps are helpful but not as much as they could be.
Thanks a lot for your advice. I really appreciate how helpful everyone's been on this thread. It's really helping us figure out our search a lot better.
Yup, each time we've bought a house, my husband and I said, "Thank goodness our offer on X house (or offers on X and Y houses) were rejected!"
In my experience, if you realize you're trying to talk yourself into being happy with the house, it isn't "the one." But if you recognize the compromise(s) (because there will always be a compromise with every house unless you custom-build it), and don't care, it's "the one."
If your real estate agent tells you the house is properly priced, and you don't hesitate to make a full-price offer, it's "the one."
We saw one house like that where there were things i normally hate and with that house I didn't mind them at all. The house was in perfect shape too! We didn't offer because we weren't sure about the price and neighborhood at the time and had to make a fast decision. But it was a great house. I'm glad I experienced that feeling you describe of liking the house enough that the negatives didn't matter to me. I hope we find that feeling again soon once we have figured out our price and neighborhood a lot better. Then, I think we'll be ready to go for it and make an offer because we'll already know we're comfortable with the location and price.
Last edited by butterfly2014; 06-14-2014 at 05:03 AM..
Wow, looking at the prospect of a bidding war as a sure thing does ratchet up the stress level. Maybe it would help to look at houses that are a bit toward the low end of your price range? To leave some room for the escalating price... But then you are getting fewer of the features you want, I get that.
I am very much a home-body and I get very attached to my ideas of what home should be, so it was not small thing to give up the floorplan I'd been living in inside my head for years and move into this house which is pretty, but seriously oddly laid out. I had to put the emotion of it aside a bit, and be practical. That could have backfired, but I don't regret it. It was a great value, it has plenty of space for all my family members (7 of us including Grandma ) and is in a beautiful spot. We have made some changes that make it feel more like "mine."
Even though this is probably our forever home, where the kids will bring my grandkids to visit, I would do it again. One factor that makes that easier, though, is that I'm from a smallish town where there aren't a whole lot of options for homes with style, and virtually none of the large center-hall colonial I would have built. Having loads of options, like we had when buying our vacation home in Phoenix, makes it HARDER! lol. You are always thinking of the next thing that might be out there...
Having a target neighborhood helps with that so much, as does having a great realtor who is watching the hotsheet every day in your target area, but is aware enough of your wish list to keep an eye on other homes slightly outside the favored neighborhood as well.
It feels like such a rush situation in a hot market. Some people just can't stand the stress and will do anything, including overpay, to be done with the process. For other buyers, once you've been through it once and possibly lost the deal to someone else (or because of inspection issues, etc.) they chill out a little and realize it'll happen when it should. That sounds really trite but honestly I can say all my buyers who have lost out on a house and then moved on to another feel like they ended up in the right place for them after all.
Thanks Montanama. I'm very practical as well as emotional (and a homebody too), so I can see making a decision similar to what you did. Yes, with the bidding wars, we will have to look at houses at our max price as well as houses listed quite a bit lower. I do hear about people in our market losing out on like 5-10 offers or something, and I just wonder how did they even find that many houses to bid on! But I guess maybe they were further along than we are and knew their price and neighborhoods better than we do, and also maybe were more open to more areas than we might be.
What do you think about waiving all contingencies, since many here are doing that now. If you get an inspection before offering, do you think waiving inspection is a good idea? It scares me a little in that you have to be very sure about the house because there is no backing out without losing your deposit.
Figuring out the neighborhood really feels like the hardest part right now. But I really see now how important it is. We couldn't decide about houses because we hadn't decided about the neighborhoods. Almost feels like we were doing it backwards. So now trying to figure out the neighborhood is key for us. There's so many factors to consider, like walkability, safety, urban layout vs. suburban layout, proximity to shops, and neighborhood feel and population.
And then figuring out our budget. We know we can manage fine with something around our current rent price, but to go above that, it's hard to predict just how much higher we can comfortably go. We've been cutting costs this year too and are working on cutting even more, so we don't have a ton of long term budget data to go on yet. I don't want to be too conservative with budget and miss out on something great if we'd just paid a little more, but I don't want to be too liberal with price and then find that we are struggling every month either.
Last edited by butterfly2014; 06-14-2014 at 05:09 AM..
Personally, I am willing to sacrifice location for amenities. The biggest house with the most amenities I want is my pick. I don't mind driving, it's kind of fun.
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) and is in a beautiful spot. We have made some changes that make it feel more like "mine." 
